Your Aunt Elsa
by robert3A-SN
Summary: Post movie: Anna only told Elsa she was having a baby hours ago. Yet as Anna and Kristoff sleep, Elsa winds up introducing herself to her future niece or nephew - and making heartfelt promises about what their future together will bring. Now an ongoing story. Chap 15: Elsa has some revealing incidents with her last two suitors.
1. Your Aunt Elsa

**Spoilers here and there for Frozen**

Elsa didn't know if she should be amused or baffled. Which was par for the course when it came to Anna and Kristoff. Even a pregnancy wouldn't change that, apparently.

Just hours after they told her the big news, here they were on the couch, sleeping as ungracefully as ever. Anna was lying on her back, although her arm and left leg were hanging off the couch. Meanwhile, her right leg was on Kristoff's lap while he was sleeping on the other end, his mouth hung open.

"_These _are gonna be your parents," Elsa muttered, thinking it with both fondness and a bit of fear.

But then she started thinking about how she actually said it. Apparently to their unborn baby. Who wouldn't be even be here for seven months. And yet Elsa made an offhand comment to it about its parents anyway.

Before she knew it, she kept saying, "Don't take it the wrong way. I mean, your parents…" then stopped before she got too crazy.

She figured she'd be talking to Anna's baby bump eventually – when it showed up. Talking to her flat stomach while they were asleep….even Anna would have grounds to call it weird.

But Anna wasn't awake, was she? Elsa had that advantage on her. It wasn't the biggest one she had on Anna by far, but still.

Maybe this was a little crazy, but this was a really crazy day. There'd be a lot more to come, obviously – perhaps the best thing to do was to embrace the insanity now. And take advantage of a rare quiet moment.

After all, Elsa did want to make a good first impression on her niece or nephew. Even if it was nowhere capable of understanding it right now. Then again, who knew what would happen in the months ahead – or if Elsa would even have the chance when, or if….

No. Elsa was _not _going to go down that route. This wasn't then. And she wasn't the Elsa from then. Anna wasn't even the Anna from then, either. This was a fresh start.

This baby deserved to know that from minute one. Leaving aside how minute one was technically months away. Still, this was as good a time to practice as any.

Before she lost her nerve, Elsa went on her knees in front of the couch, and Anna's stomach. She kept an eye on Anna's arm, in case she was sword fighting or punching Hans in her dreams again. Otherwise, Elsa was all clear to have her first words with her niece or nephew.

"Hello," Elsa addressed Anna's stomach, suddenly feeling shy as it hit her. "In case they didn't tell you….I'm gonna be your Aunt Elsa."

And now it really hit her. In fact, it took everything Elsa had not to cry and wake them up. Or wake them with a sudden flurry, either one.

"I never thought I'd be….I didn't even bother to _dream _it," Elsa found herself saying, instead of just thinking. Saying to herself, technically - but she wasn't going to think that way. If there was even a _chance _something in there could hear her, she was going to get this out.

She still didn't master it quite yet, as she kept babbling, "I didn't even think about it after the thaw. How could I? I mean, your mother…."

Its mother. Anna. A mother. Her sister, the mother. Even after hearing the news hours ago, it was just now getting through to Elsa.

How could Anna be a mother? All those times she couldn't take care of herself alone….

She wouldn't take it seriously. She'd teach her child to goof off just like her. She wouldn't know how to teach her kid to behave like a royal. She'd stumble, she'd fall. She'd…..

….pick herself up. Like she did every single time she messed up. Like she did throughout an entire childhood without….

But that wouldn't be her child's childhood. _Ever_.

"Your mother's going to do things right," Elsa spoke up again. "She's going to teach you what really matters in life. Like she….well, like she does for me. You'll understand that one day."

As she pictured a little Anna learning about….her family history….Elsa made herself believe and say, "I _really_ hope you'll understand."

As much as Elsa hoped it, she couldn't be 100 percent sure. She would never be when it came to these things. Even after all this time with Anna and Kristoff, and all that was about to come….Elsa might never be truly convinced it wouldn't go away someday.

If it went away this time, after all she'd gotten back….she couldn't get up again. She just couldn't. She wasn't strong like that. Not like Anna. And now, with a niece or nephew she could lose too….

No. Not again.

Yet when Elsa vowed this, it wasn't out of fear. In fact, she was starting to feel powerful. Real, non-wintery power.

That power made her vow out loud, "Your family history is just that. _History._ It won't repeat itself. Not to you. I won't let that happen, I can't. Because…."

Of all the things that took a while to sink in for Elsa….this final truth sunk her to her core. This final fact that overshadowed all others. It wasn't an official fact yet – but Elsa would _make _it one.

When she realized all that this entailed, her mood swung again. This time, it made her cry. Cry perhaps the happiest tears she ever shed – although she only cried of happiness one other time in her life.

This was more than worthy enough to be the second time. All because….

"I'm going to see you grow up."

Elsa covered her mouth and tried to ignore the freezing tears falling on her hand. Yet she tempted more anyway by saying, "I get to _see my sister's baby_ grow up…."

It wasn't a question. It wasn't something Elsa only hoped for. Because it _would _happen.

It wasn't something that she'd run away from. It wasn't something she would _ever _lock herself away from.

As Elsa accepted this, her tears stopped and her mood shifted away. This time, it was with a mix of pure warmth and an iron will.

She uncovered her mouth, never breaking eye contact with Anna's stomach, and poured all those emotions out when she said, "I _promise _I will be there when you grow up. The _entire _time."

The vows didn't stop there.

"I promise you'll never feel alone," Elsa kept going. "You'll _never _feel ashamed of who you are, no matter what that is. You'll never be made to feel that….people are ashamed of you. You'll know you're loved and cherished every day of your life. I'm sure your parents will cover that anyway, but….you can never be too sure. That's what I'm here for."

Elsa still wasn't used to being this open and emotional. Not even for Anna. Maybe it said something that she was much freer with something that couldn't look at her, or talk back yet. But this was different. All of it was going to be different – that was the point.

"You're the only person who'll never be afraid of me in their whole life. Or hurt by me," Elsa swore. "Well, within reason. If you're _their _son or daughter, you might need to be scared straight at some point," she chuckled.

Yet she still promised, "But it will always be from a place of love. There's nothing you could do that would make me give up on you….or close the door on you forever. Don't _ever _doubt that. There's far too much we have to do."

Elsa allowed herself to dream ahead, voicing the visions she saw in her head. "I'm going to teach you everything I know. Read everything I have with you. I might _have _to, knowing your parents' views on education." Again she chuckled, and again she went right back to promising, "But there'll always be enough time to play when we're done."

As Elsa slipped into fantasy about ballroom snowball fights with Anna's child, she had to stop herself from getting totally lost. "But you'll be allowed to play with other kids, don't worry!" she qualified.

"Your parents will make sure you make friends everywhere you go. They'll make sure people will like you for _you_, not just your title. And I'll make sure you treat everyone with respect and _some _manners….with a _little _mischief thrown in. _When _it's appropriate. All right?" she asked as if someone could answer her.

Elsa backtracked a bit, to when she assured the baby it would play with other kids. When she assured she'd trust the baby out of her sight. And therein laid one of the bigger issues Elsa would have to work on.

"I know I'm going to be way overprotective sometimes. For that, I'm already sorry," Elsa conceded. "It won't be as bad as….I know it could be. I'm going to work hard to make sure it isn't. Old fears and habits die hard, though." She shuddered at mentioning the d-word in front of her unborn niece or nephew, which probably backed up her point.

"But I'm going to protect you. Within reason, if possible," Elsa assured. "When that doesn't work, I'm going to make you feel better. I'm going to give you the warmest hugs I have. I'm going to let you cry on my shoulder, no matter how much of a mess you make there," she had to laugh and feel a little grossed out.

"And I'm going to be so brave for you," Elsa found herself getting quiet and emotional again. "I never had _real _courage or strength. Not like your mother. I never _really _put myself on the line for her. Not the right way. But I'll _make _myself find a way this time. You will _never _doubt that your Aunt Elsa would do anything for you. _With _you."

She was starting to go in circles, so Elsa figured she was almost out of promises. But there was one big one left. "And I'll never ask you to conceal _anything_. Not your feelings, not incidents when you've misbehaved….however _numerous _they may be. Not anything," she solemnly swore.

"You be as honest and open as you want, and know that I will accept everything about you." Elsa said as she felt her eyes water again. "You don't even have to accept me all the time. I'm used to it, trust me. But I will spend….whatever time we have together, earning your acceptance and love. If I got it from your mother somehow, how hard can it really be?"

That wasn't the big finish Elsa was hoping for. She was aiming for something tinged with less regret and rotten memories. Yet maybe one last bad memory wouldn't be so bad. It might make this final vow even stronger.

"I don't care how hard it is, though. You're worth it. I haven't met you, but I already know you're worth it," Elsa realized. "So we're going to do things different. No fear, no shame, no hiding, no separation….just you and me. Me and my little niece - not that a nephew wouldn't do!" Elsa quickly corrected, more to herself than to the still growing boy or girl.

"Whatever you are when you come out of there….everything I have, everything I feel….I pledge to you," Elsa declared, not caring that people were usually supposed to pledge to her.

"That means I won't hold anything back. The Elsa who would….she's someone you'll never have to meet. We'll keep her away with snowmen, laughter, lessons, support and all the love we have, as long as we both live. Starting from minute one," Elsa finished – or at least she did when she admitted, "I just hope I can wait till it gets here."

To prove her commitment right from the start, she reached out her gloveless, bare hand and touched Anna's pregnant stomach for the first time. It might have made a bolder statement to lift her shirt up and touch it while it was bare.

But the cold would have surely woken Anna up then, even if Elsa's rambling hadn't. Not that her hand felt _that _cold at this moment.

"I love you," Elsa felt warm enough to say. As rare as it still was to say those words – especially to anyone but Anna – it felt so right now.

In any case, she'd get used to it. She'd have all the time in the world to.

"Okay, I think I've talked your ear off enough. You'll miss it once your mother starts doing it, trust me," Elsa joked, but immediately corrected, "Not really, though."

Still, Elsa got up on her feet, just about ready to go. "We'll talk some more later, okay?" she tried to wrap up. Yet it got somewhat harder when she once again realized, "We can talk as much as you want later…."

Wiping her tears before they could freeze, Elsa was composed enough to finish with, "Good night, little….something. Like I said, I love you either way."

Taking a breath, Elsa turned and walked away, her mind still swimming with the not quite familiar yet feeling of….euphoria. Of promise. Of an actual future where the past was buried forever. Where even someone like her could get a real second chance, and pull it off.

Still, as Elsa's rational mind returned, she was amazed that she found all this talking to Anna's stomach, before there was even a bump.

"I really must be as loopy as the mother…." Elsa said to herself before leaving the room.

As Kristoff finally felt safe enough to open his eyes, he realized how right Elsa was.

And how her nephew – or niece, whatever – would be the most blessed child in Arendelle because of it.

The kid already had Anna's unnatural gift to sleep through anything. So that was another plus right there too.


	2. Minute One

**This story will now continue in a series of vignettes through time, with Elsa and her new family member.**

_Seven months later_

Elsa was no stranger to being helpless behind a door, while Anna was in pain. In this case, it was both easier and harder than ever to deal with it.

For one thing, Elsa was technically in the hallway, while Anna was in her bedroom giving birth. On the other hand, Anna was screaming and yelling out some very un-Anna, un-Princess-y words - and there once again wasn't a thing Elsa could do to ease her suffering.

On the other other hand, this time Elsa had the option of going in. She just didn't take it because she didn't want to get in the nurses and doctors' way.

A sudden storm during an emotional moment probably wouldn't help the delivery. Granted, there were only spare flurries now, but that was because Elsa was safe here.

But Anna wasn't. Anything could still go wrong in there, and then….

Then she'd have a baby. Elsa would not think different, no matter what. She should have remembered that going in – which helped explain why it was better for her to stay in the hall.

Kristoff would look after her just fine. He had every right to, being the father and all. Elsa was just the aunt….she was actually going to be an aunt.

Seven months wasn't enough to take it in. And now an actual living, breathing person would force her to do it. A living, breathing, new person with a fresh start and a clean slate. A slate Elsa swore to keep clean.

Now it was time to do it. Time to either do it or fail miserably again. Fail someone else again.

Elsa meant it when she swore to herself – and unsuspecting stomachs – that she would never let that happen. That she would fight as hard as she ever had to do this right. That she wouldn't hide or run away.

Then why was she still so afraid?

"Elsa?" a voice interrupted her mind. At that point, she opened her eyes to see a little coating on the floor – and Kristoff standing on it. Somehow, he'd opened and closed the door while Elsa was lost in her head, so she couldn't even peek and see what happened.

This gave her no choice but to ask him. Ask him and get an answer – either the best or worst one imaginable. Before she could power through or not, Kristoff took the choice out of her hands by saying, "It's over. She did it."

So it was the best answer. Which meant it was time for….what came after. And all it entailed.

Kristoff still dared to ask, "Do you want to go in and meet your – "

"No!" Elsa panicked, then came to her senses. But not quite enough. "I mean….not right this second," she settled on. "I need a minute, okay?"

"Will you need 10 after that? How about a day?" Kristoff objected. "I can't just go back there and tell Anna you don't want to see….I mean, I'm lucky I still have a head as it is! If I nearly lost it, you gotta risk it too!"

"I want to!" Elsa said emotionally. "I want to see that baby so much. But I _have _to do it right. I just….need to clear my head first."

"Trust me, _that _is no place for clear heads," Kristoff shared. "One look down there…..I'll be paying for that one lapse in judgment the rest of my life."

"I don't mean it like that," Elsa said, appropriately grossed out. When she scrubbed her brain clean – of that, at least – she tried to explain better.

"I won't spend _one second _with that child being afraid. Or capable of making the same old mistakes. I can't do that to Anna's baby. You have no idea how much that means to me," Elsa admitted – still not aware that she did admit it to Kristoff seven months ago.

But Kristoff remembered, which was one of the few reasons he stayed calm as Elsa continued, "I'm not going in there until I'm _completely sure _I can keep that promise. I just need to get it all out of me first. Let it go for good and forever….and _then _I'll see them. It'll only take me a minute, I promise."

"Wait, you don't want to be afraid….but you're kind of being afraid right now. Right?" Kristoff boiled it down to. After enduring Anna in childbirth and living to see the beautiful results, facing an emotional snow queen sister seemed less daunting for once.

Considering the beautiful results, he probably should have been more careful. Maybe that was his first failed test as a father.

Yet Elsa didn't punish Kristoff, as she just said, "That's why I have to get rid of it, for good! Now please….just watch over them until I'm ready. I will be as soon as I can, _believe _me."

Kristoff didn't exactly look convinced, but he didn't have any arguments left either. So he beat a strategic retreat and went back into the bedroom, again closing the door before Elsa could peek.

Before she heard Anna….voice her disappointment, Elsa figured she had to get lost in her head again. This time, it would really work.

Elsa willed herself to banish all negative thoughts from her head. Not bury deep down, like so much else over the years. She was going to let it go – even humming her signature song for help. Singing out loud now probably wouldn't look too good.

When Elsa was ready, she would sing to her new niece or nephew. She would do anything with that child, without fear or expecting the worst. This new family member would _not _be another Anna – not in the worst ways.

If there was even the slightest chance or fear of Elsa doing that to this baby, it would leave her body now. It had to leave _right _now.

That baby wouldn't get anything less from Elsa for even a second. At least _one _family member deserved that much from her. What if this was her last, only chance to do this for someone she loved?

That was just one of the evil thoughts Elsa could never let herself think again. She just had to let it go and _keep_ it let go.

To that end, she kept humming and held her arms out, trying to make herself be at peace – no matter how out of practice she was at it. She shut herself out from the world, just like in the old days that could never return.

In those days, she had nothing to look forward to. In those days, she had no chance of getting under control.

And in those days, nothing ever dropped into her arms. But it sure felt like it now.

Elsa's eyes opened suddenly as she felt the weight of….something in her arms. With an instinct she wasn't aware of, she secured it in her hands – then finally noticed Kristoff was right back in front of her.

Then that meant….

Elsa took one look down into her arms. And then everything went blank.

The baby in her arms had its eyes closed, swaddled perfectly into a blanket. It wasn't fidgeting and looked fairly calm. Yet despite all that, it was like Elsa was three years old again, holding a newborn Anna – and it wasn't just because Elsa hadn't held any babies since then.

Elsa knew she should have practiced holding them in the last seven months. But she thought that before….this. Now there was nothing in her head, nothing in her world; nothing but this….

"This is your niece, by the way," Kristoff bothered to clear up.

It was a girl.

It took everything Elsa had not to show a bigger reaction. Kristoff was probably nice enough to hide his preference, whether this was it or not. But Elsa wasn't going to look away from her niece to check.

Especially not when she opened her eyes.

"Oh…." Elsa breathed out, as the two locked eyes for the first time. Not that the face was unfamiliar to her.

"It's Anna's…." she realized, barely remembering to add the apostrophe s. This wasn't the actual baby Anna – but this was unmistakably her baby girl.

Elsa clearly felt a tear run down her cheek. Yet she wasn't worried it would turn to ice and fall on the baby. In fact, there wasn't any weather in the hallways at all.

Her emotions were just like anyone else's at this moment, if not more so – but it was more so out of happiness, not out of magic. Not magic _weather_, anyway. The only other time she felt like this, without any magic, was when Anna was unfrozen.

Love had thawed – and it had led to _this._

"Hello…." Elsa found her voice, albeit barely. Still, if she was going to go further, she needed more to go on.

"What's her name?" she acknowledged Kristoff again. "It's not something like Kristanna….right?"

"It was a close call," Kristoff admitted. "But we settled on Joan."

Joan….wait a minute. As Elsa saw the connection, Kristoff caught on and explained, "She wanted a Joan that could talk back. I _really _don't think that'll be a problem here."

"Nope…." Elsa gasped out, losing her command of grammar. She almost laughed too loud, but caught herself for the baby….for the little girl's….for _Joan's _sake.

Elsa looked down again, immediately lost to Kristoff and the world once more. But this time, there was someone with her in her own world. Someone she didn't have to send away – would _never _have to send away once. It was a fact, not just hope.

"Hello, Joan…." Elsa completed her first sentence to her niece. Still, it wasn't enough. This made her hold Joan carefully with her right hand, while the left tentatively reached out to her head.

Before she let herself go further, she looked at Kristoff again and stuttered out, "C-Can I?" It wasn't the authoritative voice of a queen by a long shot. It was like a little girl asking permission.

Elsa was never more aware of how much she still was a little girl, in so many ways. Like in how new she still was to touching people, with her bare hands, without being afraid of freezing them. Especially with newborn babies – her own family.

Yet Kristoff gave her a nod without a second thought. He trusted her with his new baby, without any hesitation. Elsa owed both of them that same trust in herself.

With that, Elsa moved forward without fear, giving Joan's cheek the lightest touch of her thumb. Instead of feeling cautious or worried about her magic, she felt….so warm.

"She's so…." Elsa couldn't finish. She just savored this feeling of instant connection – a feeling she hadn't felt in about 20 years. If that. What's more, nothing else was happening to them.

"She's not shivering…." Elsa voiced out loud. Even if she still felt cold to the touch, Joan wasn't affected at all. Her warmth balanced out Elsa's cold – just as perfectly as her mother did. Elsa wasn't even worried that some long dormant magic gene in Anna passed that power on.

All that was on her mind was Joan. It stayed that way as Elsa's thumb slid down her cheek to her chin. It stayed that way as she held her with both hands again, began to rock her, and even hummed for good measure.

"Just so you know, we'll need her back at some point," Kristoff broke the mood. That wasn't even enough to annoy Elsa.

"Right, right," she accepted. Once she got her head clear, it somehow stayed clear enough when she looked down at Joan again. "Okay, Joan….let's get you back to your mommy," Elsa told her niece.

Not for the first time, Elsa wondered if Anna or Kristoff could show any real discipline as parents. Both of them could be real pushovers and softies – even Kristoff, as much as he tried to hide it.

Well, at least one of them needed to be strict and stand tall when Joan got older. Because there was no way Elsa could do it for them. Not now.

The Queen of Arendelle, not to mention the all powerful Snow Queen….was utterly powerless against this baby girl. She didn't see that changing when she became a bigger girl. Not in the least.

Elsa could probably hide it from Anna for a few hours – if Kristoff didn't blab. The rest of the world would be a tougher sell.

But the minute Kristoff opened the door and Anna saw them come in, the world in Elsa's eyes only had four people.

Not one anymore. Not two. Not even three.

As impossible as it once was…..now it would never be anything less than four.


	3. The No Queen

_Joan: 1 1/2 years old_

Elsa tried to concentrate and finish writing and reading in her study. But she knew she couldn't concentrate too much.

Anna and Kristoff trusted her to look after Joan while they went out tonight. Technically, she was doing just that. She looked every few seconds from her desk to make sure Joan was okay on the floor, playing with the ice figurines she made for her.

There was nothing pointy or breakable on these toys, so they were safe enough. Elsa froze them enough so Joan wouldn't stick her tongue on them if she licked them – once was too many times already. And no matter how much Joan banged them together, they didn't break.

Joan was lost in whatever make believe word she made up for her toys, putting Elsa at ease. She went back to reading for several moments, then looked back up, expecting to see her still playing. Instead, Joan had dropped her toys and was looking to the right.

"Elsa!" Joan called out. It wasn't necessary, since she already had her aunt's attention. Fortunately, Elsa had read and written fast enough to spare a few moments.

"I'm right here, sweetie," Elsa assured, walking over to pick her niece up, ignoring how big she'd gotten. However, she was ignoring her as well.

"Elsa!" Joan repeated, pointing to the right this time. At that moment, Elsa actually looked there and solved the mystery. Now both of them could see it snowing outside the window.

"Oh….I don't think I did that," Elsa figured. She was calm and the work wasn't more stressful than usual, even with Joan there. This must have been a natural night time snowfall.

"Elsa!" Joan said anyway, pointing clearly to the window and what was behind it.

"No, no. I didn't make that happen," Elsa said more confidently.

When Elsa agreed not to hide her powers from baby Joan, she stood firm and said she wouldn't make anything big in front of her. She would be eased into seeing her aunt's powers, so she'd more easily accept them and be careful around them when she was older.

Elsa never made a full-fledged snowfall in front of Joan before. If she thought her aunt could do that much, she didn't get it from her.

"I don't make stuff like that," Elsa said, hoping Joan was old enough to understand. "I make smaller stuff. Like this," she set up, before shooting out a small burst of magic and triggering a little flurry nearby.

Yet Joan still pointed to it and called out, "Elsa!" again.

Now it made somewhat more sense. As much sense as a baby could make – no matter how much Elsa wanted to give her more common sense than her parents.

Still, Elsa couldn't help but chuckle at Joan's logic. Virtually everyone other than Anna and Kristoff associated snow and Elsa together – just not in this way.

"No, honey. _That's _not Elsa. _I'm _Elsa," she told Joan. She took her back to her desk and sat down to explain better. "That white stuff is called _snow_. Can you say snow?" she asked, now hoping she could teach Joan a new word. "Snow, Joan. _Snow_."

"No!" Joan announced. Elsa frowned at first, but soon got how Joan was getting it wrong. She got the word right – she just left out two letters.

"You've almost got it. It's _snow_," Elsa said slowly, stressing the s and w. "You can do it. Say ssssnowww," she tried to sound cute, despite how it wasn't her natural tone of voice. At least not for anyone but Joan.

"No!" Joan said quickly, without actually telling her no. Elsa was still very much amused, but she preferred for Joan to get this right before it stopped being funny. Effortlessly saying a word like "Elsa" better than "snow" was kind of funny, yet she hoped there was nothing more serious behind it.

"Okay, _this _is snow," Elsa announced, before sending up a magic burst that rained flurries in front of Joan – but not on the desk and documents.

"Elsa!" Joan still got it wrong in a different way.

"All right….let's try this another way," Elsa thought ahead. This time when she sent a flurry of magic, it formed a large snowflake that Elsa could suspend in the air in front of Joan. "This is snow. Or no, as you call it. The rest of us call it _snow._"

Dissolving the snowflake before Joan could try to name it, Elsa brought her attention back to her. Pointing at her own face, she explained, "And _I'm _Elsa."

She tapped her cheek twice, then made up another large snowflake and hovered it between her and Joan. "Snow," Elsa repeated, then dissolved it and pointed to her face again. "Elsa," she stressed the difference again.

To drive it home, Elsa forged another snowflake in front of Joan. "Go on, it's okay," Elsa encouraged Joan to reach out. "That's snow."

Elsa could hardly believe she was encouraging Joan to touch a magic creation of hers. She could barely believe she wasn't imagining the worst right now. But she made a promise to Joan, long before she was born – and she'd done well keeping it so far. No sense in breaking it over a mere snowflake and an English lesson.

Therefore, Elsa felt calm as she kept the snowflake in the air, long enough for Joan to touch. She didn't try to say snow, no or Elsa, but she looked in awe of whatever it was. Elsa thought she heard Joan try to say "S" before she dissolved the snow into littler flurries. Still, Joan laughed as the flurries coated her hands, so Elsa didn't mind.

Elsa turned Joan over to her, as she watched her aunt as closely as the snowflake. At that point, she treated her just like the snowflake – by reaching over and touching her face.

Elsa's breath caught, more than she meant to. More than she should have by now.

Yet even after all these years, she would never take the mere act of touching someone for granted. Much less be less than amazed that someone would knowingly, and willingly, want to touch and embrace her.

Joan wasn't old enough to know better, of course. Her mother and father didn't always know better themselves. But at that moment, those loopholes didn't matter.

Not while Joan was touching her face, studying her with the same awe, wonder and love that she gave the snow. In fact, she almost looked more in awe of her aunt.

Elsa knew not everyone made the most flattering associations between her and snow. Not everyone could see past it, outside of her family. Not everyone could actually see _Elsa _beyond all the snow and power – or care enough to try. Or necessarily like what they saw if they tried.

It was a long shot that Joan was knowingly doing all this. Again, she might not know better yet. Regardless, Elsa really _felt _like Joan could really see her, and like it whether she was the "No Queen" or not.

That was better than so many things she _thought _she knew over the years. Or at least made herself believe.

Elsa knew this for sure when Joan let go of her, and correctly said, "Elsa!" this time – just as gleefully as when she saw the snow. As if that was more important to her. "Elsa, Elsa, Elsa!" she repeated for good measure.

"Very good," Elsa chuckled, ruffling her light strawberry-blonde hair with her bare hand. It seemed better than tearing up in front of her.

She put both hands around her niece's waist, and Elsa's old purple onesie that she was wearing. Turning her around, she settled Joan on her lap, only needing a minute to decide her next move.

She likely fell behind schedule on her reading and writing by now. Still, it wasn't like she was planning to fall asleep early tonight anyway. In any case, moments like this would make Elsa sleep much better. First, she needed a closer look.

To that end, she got up and held Joan with one hand, taking her chair with the other. It was one of her smaller chairs, since the fancier, more decorated ones were saved for the throne room. As such, she could pull it and place it in front of the window, then sit down with Joan and enjoy the snowfall.

"Sssss…..no!" Joan almost had it that time.

"That's close enough for now," Elsa gave in. She got the more important word right anyway. In more ways than one – more ways than many ever did. Still, she could revel in that later.

Elsa was watching a natural snowfall without any anxiety, with the apple of her eye in her lap, yet still safe and sound. That was a far more remarkable thing she'd never dared to dream of before.

At the least, she had more selfish reasons to insist Anna and Kristoff go out more often.


	4. Breaking A Promise

_Joan: Five years old_

"Are you tired yet?" Elsa asked from behind her wall of snow in the ballroom.

"Nope!" Joan called out confidently – despite being perfectly exposed.

"Well, how about….now?!" Elsa popped out, right as she made dozens of snowballs rise in the air – all aimed at her niece.

Joan ran across the ballroom as Elsa's arsenal flew after her. She wasn't aiming to hit her niece – not with every snowball. She just wanted to get her worn out and ready to go to sleep, as Anna and Kristoff asked.

These pre-bedtime snowball fights in the ballroom always tired Joan out eventually. Still, it looked like she was in rare hyperactive form tonight. As Joan stayed upright after getting hit by the last few flying snowballs, Elsa realized she'd have to change tactics.

"Not bad, Joan," Elsa acknowledged. Joan gave a half polite, half mocking curtsy, which fueled Elsa's competitive fire - to coin a phrase. "Let's see if running's all you can do."

With that, Elsa forged another hill of snow right in front of Joan. It wasn't extremely tall, but it was big enough to give a five-year-old trouble. "Climb this and come over to me," Elsa offered.

"Can't I just go around it?" Joan pointed out a loophole.

"I thought that's what tired people did. But be my guest," Elsa baited her.

"Nuh uh!" Joan crowed defiantly, starting the climb up the hill. Elsa looked on, hoping she made the hill tiring enough and safe enough. Yet while Joan looked okay getting up the top, she still didn't look tired. So it was about a three-quarter victory.

"Yay! I'm queen of the mountain!" Joan bragged, to which Elsa couldn't help but chuckle.

"Okay, your highness. Time to tour the neighboring mountain kingdoms," Elsa offered. "Stay there and I'll help you come down."

Elsa figured she would make a snow slide in front of the hill for Joan to slide down. It would do the opposite of making her tired, but she figured Joan earned a little break. Therefore, she shot out a burst of magic that would soon turn into a slide.

Right as Joan jumped off the hill too early.

Right as the magical burst was coming right at her.

"NO!" Elsa heard herself scream, before she could register anything.

Anything other than very familiar dread.

However, a split second before Joan would have collided with the magical energy, it turned into a slide like Elsa wanted. Without seeing anything wrong, or even hearing her aunt's scream, Joan landed on the slide and went down to the ground safely.

"Again, again, again!" Joan cheered obliviously.

The same could not be said of Elsa. Not while she was sitting down in a total trance.

Elsa wasn't even here, really. She barely paid any mind to the fact that her blast missed Joan. She didn't notice her asking for her aunt Elsa. She didn't even notice the guards that came in after her piercing scream.

She was far away from them in spirit. In her mind, it was 21 years ago.

The last time she harmed a five-year-old girl.

"Aunt Elsa?" Elsa barely heard echo in her flashbacks and memories. "Aunt Elsa?" she barely heard as she saw five-year-old Anna's unconscious body. "Aunt Elsa?" she heard a little louder, though not as loud as Grand Pabbie's warnings about her destructive powers.

Destruction that made it necessary for her to go away. And yet here she was, exposed to….

"Aunt Elsa?" Elsa finally heard clearly.

Now she was back in the present, with Joan sitting close by. Far too close.

"Get away!" Elsa called out in panic, crawling a few steps backwards. "Stay back!" she kept ordering before Joan could walk over.

"Aunt Elsa?" Joan asked, more curious and quiet. And worried. Well, why the heck shouldn't she be?

"I said stay back!" Elsa cowered. As it all began to fully sink in, her voice went from panic to quiet desperation, as she pleaded, "I don't want to hurt…."

She couldn't even finish, now that she remembered the last time she said those words. It made her look away from Joan – and land right at Anna and Kristoff, who were now standing at the open doors.

"Anna?" Elsa asked, like she was an eight-year-old child. She couldn't be here. Well, she had to be here to get Joan to safety. But….Elsa couldn't see her. Not after what she almost did to….

Elsa shot up to her feet, looking around for any way out. But to go out the front door would mean going past Anna and Kristoff – and Joan. Seeing no choice, she backed away to the back door, even though it would mean a longer route to her bedroom.

She'd just have to keep it concealed until she got there.

Once Elsa was gone, Anna and Kristoff finally unfroze and ran to their daughter. "Are you all right?" Kristoff asked, checking for any streaks in her daughter's hair.

"Of course she is," Anna frowned slightly at his implication. "What happened, Joanie?" she asked her daughter in a softer tone.

"I don't know," Joan admitted. "I was sliding the slide, then Aunt Elsa started….moving away from me," she tried to sum up. "Where did she go, Mommy?"

"I have a few ideas," Anna said grimly. "But you're sure that's all that happened?" she asked Joan more nicely. "You didn't do something your aunt said not to, right?"

"No!" Joan denied. "Okay….maybe I jumped the hill early, but the slide caught me! Then Aunt Elsa started yelling."

"_Then _she yelled? After you….but when she…._oh_…." Anna could piece together the rest. "That's….uh oh."

"Is Aunt Elsa okay?" Joan asked. "Did I make her mad? Is that why she stopped playing?"

"Of course not," Kristoff insisted. "Your aunt….she just remembered some very important business. I'm sure she'll be okay with some – "

"Kristoff," Anna stopped him, with much more authority than usual. "You don't have to cover for her. Or anything else. Believe me…..there are far worse things than telling the truth."

"Yeah, but….you wanna tell _this _truth? Right now?" Kristoff asked carefully.

"I don't think there's much choice now, is there?" Anna sighed and then turned to Joan, ending the debate right there.

"I wanted to tell you this story in a better way. But this is gonna have to do. We'll probably have to hurry this up, really," Anna admitted, knowing there was little time left to open Elsa's door again. "It's about what happened when I was your age."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elsa's bedroom floor, door and walls weren't frozen solid. There was a bit of frost on them, however, and the bed was starting to turn color too. Still, Elsa figured she could sit there for a while longer.

Sitting there was all she could do. Anything else…..she should have known better. She should have known better long, long ago.

It didn't matter that this was her first serious 'incident' since Anna was frozen. It didn't matter that she'd spent the last eight years largely under control. All it took was one accident to make all of that meaningless. Especially _this _kind of accident.

It was easier to remember now that she _missed. _This time, Joan was okay.

Never mind how she was one inch away from falling on that blast, before it became a slide. Never mind what could – _would _– have happened if either one of them were faster, or slower.

Elsa knew first hand what would have happened. What she almost did. What no act of true love could have corrected this time.

She could have killed Anna's baby girl.

No, that wasn't all….

"I could have killed _my _baby girl…." Elsa muttered, before her tears took over.

She only full on cried for 10 seconds – not enough time for everything around her to freeze. The flurries didn't even coat over before she tried to think straight again. The fact was that she did miss – that meant this wasn't like Anna by default.

Joan was alive. Joan didn't need to see any trolls. Joan had all her memories.

Including the one of her Aunt Elsa cowering from her in fear.

If it was possible, that caused a greater pain inside of Elsa than all the others.

She didn't hurt her niece. But she still did something terrible to her.

She broke her promise.

The one promise she made her before she was born. The one promise she could never make again. No magic, no memory wipe, _nothing _could cover up Elsa's failure.

She vowed to never be afraid when she was around Joan. To never let her pay for her fear, not even for a second. It was the most important vow she ever made – maybe even more than her vows as Queen. Now she'd broken it beyond repair.

It had been a long time since Elsa had been truly ashamed of who she was. What kind of person she was. The kind of person she was to the people she was supposed to love and protect.

Now, it was like she was picking up right where she left off. Eight years and a family be damned. Of course, it took eight years until Elsa destroyed a five-year-old girl's childhood last time.

It didn't matter if it took 10 years until the next incident, or even 21. But it was her own fault for forgetting that. Nothing new there.

Even the knock on Elsa's door wasn't new either. Wait a second….

"Elsa?" Anna asked from behind the door, after her traditional knock. "We know you're in there. And we know why. All of us do."

"Us?" Elsa found herself asking, before she could get the teary sound out of her voice. Yet it was still loud enough for Anna to hear.

"Yeah, me, Kristoff and Joan. And it's okay that she's here!" Anna thought ahead to say. She thought ahead less when she added, "She knows why you were so upset. She knows what happened when I was five, I told her! And she understands!"

Elsa didn't catch the last part. Not when she was still stuck on the second part.

Not when that second part brought on another sudden feeling. This time it wasn't a sad one.

The gathering storm around her wasn't a sad one, by a longshot.

Anna and Kristoff got a good idea of that when Elsa opened the door. Yet the gust of flurries that met them wasn't nearly as cold as Elsa's face.

"_You_ told her? _All_ of it?!" Elsa accused Anna. "Without _asking _me?!"

"Were you planning on getting asked _anything _any time soon?" Anna didn't back down. Somehow.

"Then I'll ask _you _a question. Did you think your daughter wasn't terrified _enough _tonight?" Elsa laid into her. "Here's another one. You couldn't have let her deny what I _really _am for a _few more _hours? Not even a night?! Okay, your turn!" she frowned deeper.

"She wasn't terrified at all! Not by your magic, anyway! Maybe by the magical return of scared Elsa, if anything!" Anna shot back, matching Elsa's out of hand emotions with a few of her own.

"This is what I get for listening to you. I _knew_ I should have kept my powers from her! At least till she was 10!" Elsa reminded her.

"Aunt Elsa?" Ironically, they both forgot Joan was there too, amidst the storm pouring into the halls.

"At the least, I expected a say when you told her…._that_!" Elsa kept going as the storm kept going.

"For someone that wants to stay away from _our _daughter, you're sure telling us a lot about how to raise her!" Kristoff pointed out – then immediately shut up with one icy Elsa glare. The gust of flurries that covered his head did the rest.

"Aunt Elsa?" Joan asked again, way too quiet compared to the sisters and the snow.

"Elsa, you're not throwing away eight years of progress! It's not necessary! She's not scared of you! Just like I wouldn't have been scared either!" Anna argued.

"And look where it got you!" Elsa snapped. "I'm sorry if you don't want anything better for your daughter! Like her not freezing to death _once_!"

"Aunt Elsa!" Joan had to raise her voice this time.

"What?!" Elsa raised it louder - complete with another gust of snow that almost buried her niece.

Yet when this finally snapped Elsa out of it, the snow stopped and fell right to the ground. As did Elsa's face.

Nevertheless, Joan brushed the snow off her face herself, before going to Elsa without breaking her stride.

Now that she had Elsa's attention – in spite of how sad that attention looked – Joan could say, "We don't gotta play in the snow anymore. I won't ask you if you don't wanna. We can play other games and I won't jump early or nothing."

In spite of all the errors in grammar, Elsa was much more focused on the content. Not that she could believe it. Or stop herself from feeling guilty about it.

"You don't have to do that," Elsa tried to say, although she still sounded too broken. She gathered more strength to add, "This is my fault, not yours. You shouldn't have to give up playing if you don't want to. You love my powers."

All Joan said in return was, "But I love you more."

Those five words were all it took to bring the Queen of Arendelle to her knees. Even the snow on the floor couldn't cushion her. Not like those words.

"You do?" Elsa semi-whispered. She had to have heard it wrong. Right?

Joan knew all about what her aunt did to her mommy. She had to be more aware that her aunt almost hurt her tonight. She knew all the monstrous things Elsa was capable of. And she _still _loved her?

She didn't know any better. That was it. She was too young to. Anna barely knew better, and she was a mother now! No wonder she passed on….

…..passed on Joan's capacity to love. Passed on how Joan was approaching her dangerous snow queen aunt without fear.

Passed on how the only time Joan looked afraid….was when she thought her aunt Elsa was scared of her. When she thought she wanted nothing to do with her.

When she thought she might lose her. Like her mother did.

"Yeah," Joan actually answered Elsa's question anyway. That one word made Elsa feel as helpless and overwhelmed as her last five. As ashamed, guilty, inadequate….and maybe a few other things.

Elsa kept enough tears out of her eyes to see Joan clearly. See this little girl who knew the worst things about her now, and still loved her. Who was willing to give up something she loved, just so Elsa would feel safe enough not to kick her out of her life. Just like Anna would have done if she ever had the chance.

Elsa never gave her that chance. Neither did her parents. And now she was going to deny it to Joan?

Before she could bring herself to answer that, Elsa felt the absolute need to say, "I love you too." Just in case.

She loved her so much….and she had still considered shutting her out. The guilt and cowardice made it impossible for Elsa to look at her then.

Elsa kept her head down, hoping against hope to keep her tears down. However, she was starting to see how it should be easier than this.

This was her first relapse in eight years, and nothing even happened. Nothing permanent, except Joan learning something she probably had a right to know anyway.

In any case, Joan was healthy and still loved her, and Elsa was willing to bet Anna still loved her too. When she actually thought about it….

….why should anything have to change?

Nevertheless, accepting it in her mind and being able to look Joan in the eye were two different things.

So Joan came to her eyes instead. Yet just when it looked like she was going in for a hug, she paused.

"Can I?" she asked carefully. So carefully that Elsa had her second instant flashback of the night – to herself, before she touched Joan's face for the first time.

But Joan wasn't scared of freezing Elsa with her touch. She wasn't scared at all. At least she wasn't scared, until she thought Elsa might not accept her hug.

That, more than any magic, would have hurt her most of all. And Elsa really needed to learn this lesson _twice_?

Yet this time, it wasn't 13 years too late. "Of course you can," Elsa made herself say.

Then the second Joan embraced her, everything else came out.

Minutes ago, Elsa didn't think she could touch Joan again. Now she was hugging her with all her might. Fortunately, she'd cried enough that she wasn't doing it with all her might now. Yet it was close.

"I'm so sorry…." Elsa got around to say. But not for the thing she thought she was most sorry for minutes ago. "I'm sorry I ran away. But I'll never hide from you again."

"Even in hide and seek?" Joan asked innocently. That alone made Elsa laugh the most relieved laugh of her life. Or just the last eight years.

"Other than that," Elsa assured. "We'll play hide and seek and anything you want, powers or not. I don't _ever _want you to be afraid I'll leave you again. Because I won't, I promise. This time I really, _really _promise."

"Okay," Joan agreed, as simple as that. Maybe she was too young to grasp the full emotion behind that. Yet her simple, untroubled agreement – like it really was a matter of fact – meant the world to Elsa. Just like her niece did.

This made Elsa content to keep holding Joan, pouring her remaining apologies into that hug. She probably owed some to Anna and Kristoff too. But she had more to work off with this hug first.

"Aunt Elsa?" Joan asked after several moments. "I'm getting sweaty."

"Oh!" Elsa gasped, finally freeing Joan. "I must have melted the snow too fast."

"Nah," Joan shrugged off. "You just give the warmest hugs in the world." Dropping her voice, she whispered, "Please don't tell Olaf."

"I won't, I won't," Elsa nearly giggled herself out of control. Still, she felt centered enough to give Joan another normal, warm hug.

How could she think she could ever give this up? If she was going to keep _this _promise, she had to build an immunity to fear. That meant keeping Joan around as much as possible. Starting tonight.

Since this meant speaking to Anna and Kristoff again, Elsa suddenly felt a little shy. Regardless, this was a good place to start being brave again. "I know I don't have the right," she started, not looking up at her sister and brother-in-law yet. "But if it's somehow okay…."

"We'll pick her up in the morning," Anna assured with a relieved smile. She was going to offer that Joan could spend the night in Elsa's room anyway. She was much happier that Elsa offered first, or tried to.

Now that Elsa was ready to let Joan go, Anna went to her and said, "Do you mind sleeping in Aunt Elsa's room tonight?"

"Nope!" Joan said, bringing much more positive memories for Elsa this time. This helped her get back on her feet as Anna said her goodnights to Joan.

She then noticed there was still snow on Kristoff, and shyly reached to brush it off by hand. Yet he shrugged it off, seeming forgiving enough. As long as Anna and Joan were okay with Elsa, it was always pretty hard – if not suicidal – for Kristoff to hold a grudge with her too.

He just went over to say goodnight to Joan next, leaving Elsa to face Anna. "I really am –" Elsa started.

"We'll talk about it in the morning," Anna stopped her. "We _will _talk, right? All of us, if we have to?" she warned.

"Of course. The door's always open," Elsa said with risky phrasing.

But when Anna giggled and hugged her, it seemed to have paid off. It paid off further when Anna and Kristoff said good night, let Joan with Elsa in her room – and Elsa felt nothing but content.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It took another 20 minutes of powerless play time for Joan to finally get tired. Yet before she climbed into bed, she had a request.

"Aunt Elsa? Would….would you read me a story?" Joan asked. Elsa's big smile was enough of an answer.

Although Anna wasn't a big reader – not of respectable books – one of Joan's favorite things was when Elsa read to her. Of all the things Elsa could have passed on to her, loving books was one of the very best outcomes.

She went over to her shelf of Joan-approved books, picked one of her favorites out and got right into bed. Once she settled in, she untucked the left side of her blanket, giving Joan room to jump in and snuggle next to her aunt.

As Elsa got snug and held the book up to start reading, Joan interrupted with another question. "Aunt Elsa? If you stayed in your room for a long time…..did anyone read to you?"

Joan could have asked anything about those 13 years. Starting with this was a nice way to ease Elsa in. Plus it wouldn't be excessively unpleasant to say the answer.

"Sometimes," she recalled. "Whenever I felt safe enough, your Grandmom and Grandpop would read me to sleep. It wasn't all the time, of course. But they were my favorite nights," she shared with a wistful smile. Nevertheless, she felt she owed Joan a fuller truth.

"Otherwise….I spent a lot of nights reading to myself when I was older. I had to so I could be prepared to be Queen. There was nothing else I could really do," Elsa admitted, proud of herself for not sniffling.

"I'm sorry," Joan said, nearly shattering Elsa's no sniffling plan. But not in a sad way.

"It's okay. I like a lot of things in here now," Elsa smiled directly at Joan. "So trust me, I'm okay." When Joan looked satisfied, Elsa moved on by warning, "I don't know if I can say the same about Flynn Rider tonight, though."

Joan gasped, now fully afraid for a fictional, non royal character. Well, in a way, he was royal - but that's a bedtime story Elsa wanted to save for when Joan was older.

She got halfway through this one before Joan fell asleep, her head lying on Elsa's side. Although Elsa was allowed to go to sleep too, she didn't quite yet.

When Elsa read herself to sleep back then, she read it out loud. It distracted her better that way – something had to. But she made sure she wasn't loud enough for Anna to hear and get some wrong, painful ideas. She'd couldn't afford to give her more false hope before crushing it.

However, those days were over. Elsa needed to remember that, so the first half of tonight never happened again. The best reminder of that was sleeping and about to drool next to her.

Another good tactic was to keep reading the book, speaking just quietly enough so Joan wouldn't wake up. This time, it wasn't to keep someone from knocking on her door and asking for a story, though.

This time, Elsa knew she was reading and she wasn't alone. This time, she didn't have to dream she was in a book. This time, when she woke up, she wouldn't feel disappointed that she was back in real life.

This time, when the sky was awake, Elsa and Joan would wake up together. Well, Joan would probably take an extra hour.

Nevertheless, Elsa would give Joan every chance in the world to catch up. There would be no breaking that promise again.


	5. Good Girl

_Joan: Seven years old_

"Do you even understand what you did?" Elsa asked Joan, in perhaps the loudest tone of voice she'd ever used with her. Under the circumstances, it was warranted, even if Joan couldn't see it yet.

"I just wanted to ride Bjorn," Joan brought up Sven's third son. "I wanted to do it by myself. I stayed on the whole time and everything."

"Barely!" Elsa recalled. "Then you rode him into the castle, barged into my meeting, and made me scared enough to almost freeze the ambassador!"

"I didn't tell him to go in there! I wanted to ride him on my bed, _he _took a wrong turn!" Joan defended.

"Which he couldn't have done if it wasn't for you! You're lucky you weren't hurt!" Elsa stated with fear. "You're lucky I still salvaged the trade renegotiations!" she said with more anger this time.

"I'm sorry," Joan said. "Can I go?"

"No!" Elsa put her foot down, only freezing a few square feet in the process. "Joan, you can't do things like this. Not without consequences."

"Are you gonna tell Mommy and Daddy?" Joan asked, reminding Elsa they were gone for the weekend. It didn't mean there wasn't an authority figure in charge, though. Perhaps it was time Elsa reminded her.

"I'll have to. But until they get back, you're not allowed to leave your room. Not except for breakfast, lunch and dinner," Elsa decreed. "When they return, I'll leave any further punishments up to them."

"What?" Joan was confused. "But…..but we were supposed to have fun this weekend!"

"You had too much of it on your own. I think you're all funned out for a little while," Elsa stayed firm.

"Just because I rode by myself? You could have ridden Yorgen with me! But you were too busy!" Joan protested.

"I was busy being Queen. Business you almost disrupted today," Elsa reminded.

"That's all you care about?" Joan asked. Getting more desperate, she added, "But I….I can't stay in my room for two whole days!"

"I'm sure you've got it in you. Trust me," Elsa made a little allusion to their family's history with rooms.

"_You're _locking me in my room? Do you know how weird that is?" Joan was blunter with her reference.

"Yes, but it has to be done. You need to learn to control yourself," Elsa had to get across.

"Is that what Grandmom and Grandpop told you? Or are you gonna let me out before I turn 21?" Joan let get away from her. But after the brief second when she realized she went too far, Elsa got even chillier.

"Joan, you're a young lady now. It's time I treated you like one," Elsa said, with misleading calm. "I know I've never punished you like this before. That's because I never had to. _You're _the one that made it necessary today. If you staying in your room means you won't make it necessary again, then so be it. That's how young ladies are supposed to learn their lesson."

"Well….well, I hate learning! Mommy didn't need it! It's not fair!" Joan came back, out of a mix of fear, seeing an unfamiliar side of her aunt, and an inherited stubbornness that helped her ignore she was wrong. Elsa knew this too well, which made her less offended than she should have been.

"Just please go to your room, and we'll talk at dinner. Okay?" Elsa tried to end diplomatically. But while that tone of voice worked with diplomats, it was less effective on a seven-year-old in trouble.

"Well, I'm not talking to you! Ever again!" Joan snapped, before finally going to her room. Presumably.

Joan wasn't familiar with being punished like this by Elsa. She was inexperienced at it, just like Elsa was on the other end. That's why she let herself get out of hand, even though she had to know she was out of line. Elsa knew this because she felt the same way – except for the out of line part, since she was being the completely fair one.

So Elsa sighed, choosing to hope it couldn't get any worse. The ambassadors were calmer now and were ice free, and Joan would probably calm down after a while.

She'd probably get quiet by tonight, behave tomorrow, and then maybe they could have some fun again on Sunday before Anna and Kristoff got back.

Of course, Elsa had to pay for her rare spurt of optimism.

She heard reports that Joan snuck out of her room at least once before dinner. When Elsa tried to talk to her about it, Joan kept her vow not to talk. By the time Elsa knocked on her door that night and Joan wanted Greta to tuck her in instead, she was somewhere between heartbroken and furious.

Elsa had never been at odds with her niece before. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe she loved and adored her so much, Joan thought she could get away with anything on her – and didn't understand why she couldn't.

How could she, when Elsa spoiled her rotten and treated her like she was perfect, until today? How else could Joan react, other than to lash out?

Well, that last part wasn't Elsa's fault. Joan was too good a girl to be like that, for any reason. If Elsa let her off the hook for not being a good girl this time, she'd keep pushing and pushing until….she wasn't a good girl anymore.

Maybe that was paranoia, but Elsa would always be the queen of that. No matter how dormant that power was.

No, the only option was to stand her ground. Show Joan Aunt Elsa could discipline her, and that she couldn't behave like there'd be no consequences. Leaving aside how this was the first major time she did. At least in front of Elsa.

Regardless, Elsa didn't budge the next morning when Joan came for breakfast, and left without ever saying a word a half-hour later. She stayed even firmer when the same thing happened at lunch, and when she heard that Joan was playing in the kitchen twice that afternoon. In fact, Elsa was more emboldened to call her out at dinner.

"I heard you left your room when you weren't supposed to," Elsa informed her. "Since you're not speaking to me, I assume I can tell you how wrong that was now." Joan made a noise that sounded like a scoff, so that was progress.

"Joan, I know you know what you did was wrong. You're so much better than that," Elsa was encouraged to try nicer words.

"Maybe you _don't _know everything," Joan finally spoke, which was one step forward and two big steps back.

"I know you don't mean to give me the cold shoulder," Elsa tried to stay reasonable.

"You do, so why can't I?" Joan asked. This sparked Elsa's own stubbornness, regardless of how it could backfire.

"I do it because I love you. You're just being stubborn, like your mother," Elsa frowned.

"At least my mommy loves me. I thought you did, but…." Joan accused – even better at melodrama than Anna sounded like at her age. Of course, Joan sounded more like she meant it.

Elsa couldn't pretend it didn't piece her heart, though. Or that it hardened it a second later.

"I try to be a real aunt for you, and _that's _what you take from it?" she raised her voice. "I guess since I _don't _love you, I shouldn't mind, huh?"

"I guess not," Joan said, too calm and seemingly unmoved for Elsa to stand.

"Good, I don't! And I'm putting a guard at your door the next time you sneak out!" Elsa announced.

"Fine, you can fire him when I break outta jail!" Joan shot back.

"Fine, I will!" Elsa repeated, forgetting her usual etiquette.

"Fine!" Joan echoed one last time, then gobbled down the rest of her dinner in Anna like fashion. Then she left Elsa alone, in very un-Anna like fashion.

Elsa convinced herself she was still totally in the right – at least until that sleepless night. Even the loud gusts of winds she made couldn't distract her from Joan's escalating attitude, how it was never this bad before Elsa punished her – and how she thought Elsa didn't love her.

Perhaps it made sense that she wasn't good at this. Elsa had never dealt with a seven-year-old child in her life. She never dealt with anyone between the ages of five and 18 before.

She missed out on how they rebelled when they got older, needed more discipline, and could say out of control things when they were challenged. When they…..maybe didn't mean them. But Elsa was so head over heels over baby Joan, she completely ignored how…..different growing up Joan might be.

Now Anna and Kristoff would come home tomorrow to the ugly results. They'd probably never leave Joan with her for a weekend again – maybe not even a night. Would Joan even want them to? If she didn't fix this soon, would Joan ever want to be around her again?

God help her, Elsa still wanted to be around her. She was still her baby girl. She was still the second greatest love of her life – one of only two great loves. But because she loved Joan so much, she couldn't let her think being a brat paid off. She had to be tough because she loved her.

When Elsa wondered if her own parents felt the same way about her – and how much _she'd _felt the same around Anna - she _really _couldn't get to sleep.

The next morning, Elsa tried to clear her head by walking in the castle garden. Natural snow was still there after a few days – still fresh, and still uncluttered with snowmen. Far from what Elsa had imagined when the weekend started.

Not even a snowball fight to –

Okay, she wasn't lost in fantasy enough to _imagine _a snowball hitting the back of her head.

And she wasn't. This became clear when Elsa turned around and saw Joan – wearing mittens that clearly just had snow in them. "How did you get out?" Elsa sighed.

"Don't wanna give your next guard any ideas," Joan answered.

"So a snowball's supposed to punish me? _Me_?" Elsa argued, despite losing the strength to do so.

"Something should! You hate me! I should hate you too!" Joan accused – bringing Elsa's ire and heartbreak back up in spades.

"Don't you say that," Elsa said, more desperately than she wanted to sound. "What if something happened to me? What if that was the last thing you ever said to me, and you could _never _take it back? I said terrible things I thought I could never take back to your mom, you know!"

"Well, I'm not getting frozen, so no problem," Joan thought she had Elsa there.

Elsa was now beyond tired of Joan's posturing, beyond tired of this mess – and beyond sick of wondering how much she really meant these things.

If she was being unreasonable, then reason wouldn't work to end it. If it took over the top antics to get through to her, then Elsa was ready to stoop to her level. And do it much better.

"Okay, so…..hold on," Elsa began to act. "Oh no….it's happening," she started pretend-panicking, trying to act out and spaz out like Anna would. "The snow gods that gave me my powers….they want them back! I knew this day would come!"

"No you didn't," Joan didn't buy it. However, Elsa put a swirling whirlwind of snow around herself to look more convincing.

"Oh no….they're taking it all away….my power, my life force, everything!" Elsa kept acting. "It's all over now…."

Elsa let the snow storm fall away, then stumbled around and fell down. "Getting colder….slipping away….I lo-" Yet Elsa stopped right there, pretending to choke and croak before sending another gust of snow to completely bury her.

Elsa held her breath underneath the snow, which she could do as long as she had to. She could also make her body temperature drop pretty low without being harmed – although she would feel like death to everyone else. Joan didn't know she could do that, which stood to work just fine later.

"Okay, Aunt Elsa, you can get up now," Elsa heard Joan say, still unconvinced. "Aunt Elsa? Come on, the joke's over," Joan told her. But Elsa didn't move a muscle – not even when Joan asked "Aunt Elsa?" with a tiny bit of a tremor.

Eventually, Joan went over and started to dig up Elsa's body. She kept perfectly still and didn't breathe, not even when Joan touched her ice cold face. "Aunt Elsa? Come on, it's not funny anymore," Joan insisted. She didn't laugh when she shook her and got no response either.

"Aunt Elsa?" Joan's fear increased. "It's time to get up, okay? You got no fun queen stuff to do!" When Elsa didn't move and got even colder, Joan scrambled with, "Okay, okay, it's fun, it's fun! Now will you get up?"

Elsa heard Joan breathe heavily, and with much more fear. A few more seconds and the guilt over this cruel joke would be too much. As such. Elsa concentrated extra hard on the next part of the act, hoping Joan would help speed it along too.

"Aunt Elsa, wake up! Aunt Elsa!" Joan shook her some more, to no apparent effect. "Aunt Elsa, you can't go! I didn't want you to go, I promise! Please don't go!"

Elsa thought she might literally have to freeze herself to stay still, as she heard the tears start coming. "Aunt Elsa, you can't…..I didn't, I shouldn't, you aren't…..just please don't! I love you!"

That would do. And with that, the snowball Elsa formed behind Joan flew into the back of her head.

Right after Joan groaned, Elsa's eyes opened and made her scream.

Despite the utter cruelty behind this "joke" Elsa couldn't help but giggle as Joan backed up and fell. Both at how thoroughly Elsa got her, and how good it was to hear that she loved her again. If only for that second. The next few might be different, though.

That part she might not have thought through as much.

"Aunt Elsa! You…..you're not dead!" Joan yelled, with happiness that soon turned to anger when she figured it out. "You were pretending! That's why the snowball hit me! You fibbed!"

"Got some truth out of you, didn't it?" Elsa told Joan and herself to calm them down. But she was easier to calm down than Joan.

"I didn't, you didn't, you…..you liar!" Joan screamed. For a split second, Elsa feared she'd really pushed her beyond repair.

At least until all Joan did to lash out was make and throw more snowballs.

The relief and confidence that Joan would burn her anger out soon made Elsa stay still, taking every snowball she had. They all hit her in the body – but the last one got her right in the face. This took Elsa aback, right as she heard Joan hold back a laugh.

"That's funny to you?" Elsa asked, half teasingly and half cautiously.

"Uh huh!" Joan agreed, letting more laughter out – until Elsa made a natural snowball of her own, without powers, and got her niece in the face right back.

"You might be onto something," Elsa conceded.

Instead of conceding back, Joan quickly gathered another pile of snow. Elsa backed up and made a snow wall to hide behind, right as Joan had her snowballs ready. But Elsa made a few powerless snowballs of her own to carry with her, before Joan cheated and went around the wall with her own snowballs.

What followed was one of the more unorganized snowball fights the two ever had. Only half of the snowballs connected, and Elsa only pretended to miss half of her strikes. Yet against most logic, by the time they tired out, both of them were laughing.

Elsa collapsed first and laid down, with Joan following soon after. The two kept a smile on their faces for a while, before they actually looked at each other again. Remembering what it took to get to this point, some overdue guilt came in – on both sides.

"I'm sorry," Joan finally said, a split second before Elsa said it.

"You said it first," Elsa made sure Joan remembered. But she did anyway.

"I know you don't hate me. I don't hate you too," Joan confessed. "And….maybe I should have kept Bjorn in the stable. His sisters could have calmed him down."

"Sometimes they can do that," Elsa admitted.

"It's just….you never yelled at me before," Joan brought herself to admit.

"You never did anything to make me yell before," Elsa admitted back. "I guess we both weren't ready for it."

"I wasn't," Joan sighed. "I thought….if I made you feel guilty and stop punishing me….you wouldn't be mad at me anymore. Then you wouldn't do it again. Then you might not stop loving me someday."

Elsa's throat caught, realizing some of her own fears about losing good girl Joan resembled Joan's fears in losing good Aunt Elsa. Still, Elsa had to clarify, "But the way you did it made me mad anyway. Enough to make me do….my little trick. You see how that backfired?"

"Kinda…." Joan answered, whether she really saw it or was just agreeing to agree. Elsa figured she needed to know more.

"Look, I am _always_ going to love you. The days where I abandon people I love are long over. You know that," Elsa reminded her. "You'll probably misbehave more, and I'll probably be mad when you do. But that's because I know you can be better. The kind of better where you realize your mistakes, accept responsibility, and try to make things right. Like your parents do….eventually."

Joan let out a little laugh, but not much else. Still, it looked like she was actually listening. So Elsa continued, "It'd probably go like this. I'm sorry I faked my death and scared you, and I'll never do it again. I'm not sorry I disciplined you, but I promise I won't make you think I hate you. You could _never _make me mad enough for that. Just try not to try, okay?"

"Okay…." Joan agreed. "I'm sorry I ruined your meeting. I'll never do it again. I'm sorry I said I hate you, too. I don't ever want to hate you for real. Cause I still love you."

"I love you too," Elsa finally smiled. "We both made….rookie mistakes in this sort of thing. The best we can do is learn from them and be better. It's better than the alternative."

"Yeah…." Joan saw it Elsa's way. Being the bigger person, she stuck her hand out and asked, "Truce?"

Elsa was proud of her for that grown up word alone. Smiling, she repeated, "Truce," and took her hand – then promptly pulled her over and on top on her, giving her a relieved truce hug as they both giggled.

When she was done, Elsa sat up and helped Joan get back on her feet. "Should I go back to my room?" Joan checked.

"Well….you've already learned your lesson. And we do have a truce," Elsa pretended to think. "When two people settle an argument, it's usually good to sit for a nice meal. And what's the best meal to drink down?"

"Hot chocolate?" Joan asked eagerly.

"Very good," Elsa said. "But I should only give you one plain cup. And I still have to tell your parents about your ride. If word hasn't gotten out already."

"Aww…." Joan pouted, probably more over the first thing.

"The most I can do is keep the rest of this weekend a secret. They'll probably go easier on both of us then," Elsa conceded. "But any punishments they might come up with are up to them. Okay?"

Elsa hoped laying down these last laws would ensure Joan still got the message – then they'd get to the delicious stuff with a clean conscience. When she sighed and said, "Okay," without more pouting or bargaining, Elsa felt clean enough.

"All right. That's a good girl," Elsa smiled, glad to have her good girl back. Joan smiled and took her hand, glad that her good aunt Elsa wasn't leaving her after all.

Sometime later, the two were safe and snug inside, sitting at the dining room table and each holding a mug of hot chocolate. Although Joan's wasn't flavored, she still drank it down eagerly while Elsa drank hers down too.

When they both sighed in relief, they smiled at each other and clinked their mugs together, toasting the return of peace. It came just in time, given how Anna and Kristoff barged in moments later.

"There you are!" Anna exclaimed. "What are you doing in here? Were you that bored without us?"

Elsa and Joan shared a conspiratorial look, before Elsa spoke up, "Let's just say we've been pretty cooped up in here."

"Well, it's our turn to say things now, then," Kristoff responded.

"No, you said I could do it! I had the best line, so there!" Anna protested. Kristoff sighed and let her get on with it, as Elsa and Joan now looked curious.

"Joan, I know I left you cooped up with Aunt Elsa," Anna started. "But I'm sure it wasn't that bad. You guys have a lot of things in common, and you're gonna have one more thing soon. In about eight months."

As Elsa and Joan did the math, Anna squealed and clarified, "You're gonna be a big sister! Just like your Aunt Elsa! And she's gonna be an aunt again too!"

If Elsa heard this news yesterday, in the midst of fighting with Joan, her enthusiasm might have been dampened. Maybe it'd have been too much bad timing for her to be completely happy. Maybe she would have thought, with some melancholy, that it was at least a chance to get being an aunt right this time.

But in the aftermath of making peace with her first niece, the announcement of a second one – or a first nephew, she supposed – couldn't have made Elsa happier.

She was happy enough to keep quiet about Joan and Bjorn's little joyride, anyway.


	6. Big Sister Talk

_Eight months later_

Elsa was both calmer and more nervous than she imagined. Since this was her second go-around waiting for Anna to give birth, and since she already knew how to be an aunt, she knew just what to do. She sat in the halls, far more excited than nervous to meet her new niece or nephew.

Joan on the other hand, was far less still. Hence the nervous part.

Elsa could scarcely believe she was here with Joan. Almost eight years ago, Elsa was all alone waiting for her to be born, and so scared about how she'd be around her. And now here Joan was, ready to become a big sister herself – and looking so eager and impatient for it.

It was just yesterday that Kristoff put Joan into her arms, when Elsa was too scared to be scared around her. Now here was this little girl with lighter strawberry colored hair than her mother, a light gray coat, wide eyes, and who could usually stay still more than this.

Here she was about to meet a little sibling – like her aunt did over 28 years ago. When Elsa met a precious little girl who was becoming a mother again right now. It was all so unreal.

"Is the baby here yet?" Joan interrupted, making it real again.

"I told you, your daddy will tell you when," Elsa answered.

"Do you think I can start playing with her tonight?" Joan asked innocently.

"We don't know if it's a her yet," Elsa reminded her. "In any case, newborns can't do much playing. Believe me," she conveyed, remembering how bored she was with Anna in her first few months, before her powers gave them stuff to play with. "It should be about a year before she can really play back."

"Oh," Joan looked disappointed. "What'll I do with her till then?"

"Just….be a big sister," Elsa shared. "Watch out for her. Protect her so nothing and no one ever hurts her. Make her smile when she needs to. Try not to make her cry or feel alone. Make her see she'll always be loved and accepted. Be responsible." When she realized her mistake – and realized she wasn't just talking about the new baby – she corrected, "Whether it's a her or him."

However, that wasn't the detail which suddenly worried Joan.

"I have to do all that?" she gasped. "Why didn't you tell me before? Now it's too late!"

Now Joan was pacing in a far more worried fashion. Elsa had said all the right words, or so she thought – she just waited too long to say them, she supposed. So much for being crisis free before this birth.

"Joan, Mommy and Daddy will technically do most of the work. So will I, when I can," Elsa assured.

"But I gotta do some of it! I've never been responsible before!" Joan reminded her. "I've never watched after anyone! You know Olaf and the Svens play by their own rules!"

"However confusing they might be," Elsa tried to distract her by talking about more fun, super weird things. Unfortunately, the damage had already been done by her.

"Aunt Elsa, I don't know how to protect a baby! I thought I could just play with it!" Joan cringed. "How do I make sure nothing happens to it? How do I be a good big sister?"

Before Elsa looked for a better answer this time – although the last one sounded pretty good already – Joan added one more question. "How did _you_ do it?"

Elsa could have answered it easily. She had over 10 years of experience in being a good big sister to draw from. There was only one problem – they were all when Anna was grown up.

Therein lay a few more problems. By the time they finished piling up, Elsa had no idea how to answer Joan. Or at least sugarcoat any of the answers. Sadly, Joan still looked like she needed a lot of sugarcoating.

Then again, maybe that was part of the problem. Plus sugarcoating and keeping secrets almost destroyed the last big sister relationship in this castle.

Therefore, Elsa stuck with honesty when she told Joan, "You don't want to learn from me."

"Why not? Is there someone else here I can learn from?" Joan briefly looked around.

"You _know _why I'm not the best big sister. Why I wasn't for 13 years," Elsa called back to.

"Oh, yeah…." Joan remembered. "But that was then! You're great now!"

"_Now_, when Anna's all grown up. Not when she was a kid," Elsa said. "I was only a big sister to a child for five years. Three and a half, once Anna could do stuff with me. Other than that…..neither of us knows how to take care of a real _little _sibling. Not for the rest of its life. I'm still learning how to take care of little you!"

Joan had stopped pacing, at least. Yet Elsa knew that was a small victory – one she would probably overshadow now.

"You want to know what you really have to do? Don't be afraid. Don't let anyone take him or her away for any reason. Don't think the only way to care for a sibling is to keep it away from you. Just….don't be me, and you'll be the best big sister this castle's ever seen," Elsa confessed.

These bouts of self-loathing over the past had been fewer and far between. They probably should have gone away quicker these last 11 years. This really wasn't a good place for them to come back, since this day wasn't about Elsa, or the past.

It was about Anna and Kristoff and Joan and the baby – and how they'd never wind up like her, Anna, Mom and Dad. That's all they had to do.

"I know there's no way you'll make my mistakes. You don't even have powers," Elsa sighed in relief. "I'm sorry I made it sound worse than it is. It's just….you're gonna get to do all the things I never got to do with your mom. I hope you realize what an honor and privilege that is."

"Losing it for that long will always be the worst thing I ever did. The worst thing I ever let happen," Elsa continued. "As long as you don't lose it, you have nothing to be afraid of. Big sisters have been afraid enough around here."

Elsa let out a deep, frosty breath, not ready to see if she got through to Joan or not. She folded her bare hands, hoping Kristoff might come by with news and overshadow this whole stupid rant.

Someone then came and touched her hand when he wasn't looking. But it wasn't Kristoff.

Elsa looked over and saw Joan, as well as her little hand on top of hers. She knew that for Elsa, someone touching her bare hand was still quite a big deal – and a true sign of love. If that's what Joan meant by this, it had to bode well.

"You love Mommy," Joan stated. "I'm gonna love the new baby too."

There was the happy, proud smile Elsa was expecting to have all day.

"I never doubted that," she answered, opening her hand so Joan could slide hers in. She then sat back on the bench and snuggled next to her aunt, like she would when she slept over.

Elsa should have been able to believe this was happening, even after 11 years. Maybe a part of her would never believe it. Having her sister, a brother-in-law, a niece and another baby that might already be here….how could 11 years turn out like this? Especially when nothing happened, save for a boat accident, for 13?

As always, Elsa wouldn't let go of it anyway. She wouldn't let go of Joan, or her new sibling either. If Joan needed help to be a real big sister and stay that way, they would do it together. With the actual parents taking part, of course.

Elsa knew the people, the press and even her own court were wondering if there'd ever be a real heir to the throne. The questions, rumors and downright….uneasy innuendo about why there wasn't one was harder to ignore over the years.

But while she may not have children now, or an official prince or princess to take the throne for her – Joan would always be her first princess. And Elsa couldn't wait to meet her second, or her first prince.

If they were the only little royal family she had…..well, if she could only block out the rest of the world, then absolutely nothing about it would be wrong with her. The fact she was less good at blocking it out now...was something for a much less better day than this one.

About 10 minutes later, that day officially began – even if it was technically sundown. Whenever it was, Kristoff chose right then to come over, causing Elsa and Joan to get up right away.

"What happened?" Elsa asked, looking at Kristoff for signs of trouble. Or signs of gender. Instead of answering her, he bent down to Joan.

"Joan….you and the new baby won't be like your aunt and mommy, I can tell you that," Kristoff clued her in. As Elsa pieced that together, and began to realize what he meant, Kristoff actually spoke plainly and confirmed, "Because you have a little brother."

"A brother?" Joan repeated, as Elsa just gasped.

Well….now Elsa had _no _idea what to tell Joan to do about this. This was the first royal boy in two generations – the first one of Elsa's lifetime. After having a sister and a niece, she had a boy to look after for the very first time….

Joan got a head start by cheering and hugging her dad. Elsa made up for it with a bigger squeeze moments later.

More than ever, Kristoff was glad he didn't feel the cold from Elsa's hugs. Still, her smile was impossibly warm as she asked, "What's his name?"

"We're going with Christian," Kristoff declared. "Anna wanted something that sounded like Kris in this one."

"Christian…." Joan tried on for size. After repeating it a few more times, she seemed to be on board.

"Can we go in?" Elsa asked, fully understanding the irony.

"Oh, Anna insisted this time," Kristoff let her know. "She was clear that….nothing like this had a _chance _to happen again if I didn't make sure." Elsa halfway rolled her eyes, since he at least phrased it well above Joan's level of understanding.

There was only one thing she needed to understand now anyway. It was time for her to meet her little brother. And she wouldn't be going in alone.

Taking Joan's hand first this time, Elsa let Kristoff lead the way as she led Joan with them to Anna's room. When they got to the door, Elsa breathed a nervous, but excited sigh and squeezed Joan's hand as Kristoff opened up.

"Well….nice of you to be on time," Elsa heard Anna say. Then she looked at her on her bed – and she wasn't alone.

Anna's new son was swaddled in a blue blanket, yet Elsa and Joan couldn't get a clear view of his head. Elsa knew who should get the first look, though. "Go on. Go meet your brother," she urged Joan. "We'll be right behind you."

Joan looked on at her father and Elsa, then went forward on her own. When she reached Anna's bed, she climbed up and sat next to her mother. "Are you okay, Mommy?" she asked Anna.

"Once you say hi to your brother, I'll be perfect," Anna told her first born.

Joan went on to take her first look at this Christian person. His little head was still and his eyes were closed, yet Joan carefully reached out to touch him. As if he was a big piece of chocolate that Joan couldn't believe was real.

She stopped just shy of touching his nose when his eyes opened. Unlike Joan's blue-green orbs, Christian's were pure blue. They froze Joan in place as she locked eyes with her brother for the first time.

In the meantime, Elsa took a few steps forward, wanting to get a look at her new nephew. But she also wanted to see what her old niece would do.

The last person in this position….didn't make the best first impression.

_A three-year-old Elsa crawled carefully onto her mother's bed, to take a look at her new baby sister. However, she heard her before she really saw her._

_The baby's cries nearly made Elsa run away, yet she made herself go forward. At least while her mommy and daddy were watching. Yet when Elsa got to the crying baby and reached out to it, it took her outstretched finger and gave it a squeeze. Too good of a squeeze._

_"Ow!" little Elsa took her finger away – before it shot off a few tiny snowflakes away from everyone. "The baby's broke!"_

_"She's not broken. She's your little sister," Mommy somehow said over all the crying._

_"I don't want that one!" Elsa objected. "Can you get another?"_

_"Even if we do, Anna's staying right here. Forever," Daddy said, somehow able to bend down and touch the baby without getting attacked._

_"Aw!" Elsa pouted._

_It took about a month, as well as Anna's loving the weird snowflakes that came out of Elsa's hands, for Elsa to stop pouting. It took another 11 months for Elsa to fully regret her first encounter with her._

_But on that birthday, and the next four after that, she made sure to give her a better greeting – and a better snowman each time._

Elsa was certainly relieved she gave Joan a much better greeting. And to her greater relief, Joan was doing the same for Christian.

"Hi," she got out. "I'm gonna be your big sister now. Okay?" she asked hopefully.

Perhaps it was cheating and dumb luck that Christian was a quiet child off the bat, unlike Anna. It also likely helped that Joan was almost five years older than Elsa was when Anna was born.

Excuses aside, Joan still had three-year-old Elsa beat – especially when she touched her brother's nose and smiled. Somehow, older Elsa just knew this wasn't the last time big sister Joan would show her up.

But first, Aunt Elsa had to introduce herself next.

Unlike seven years ago, no one had to give her a baby while her eyes were closed. Elsa just came up, held out her arms, and let a teary Anna hand her son over.

Without worry or anything but control, Elsa cradled Christian and welcomed her nephew with a smile. Joan even stood up on the bed, standing next to Elsa to look down at the baby. Just for tonight, no one scolded her for standing on a bed with her shoes on.

Instead, Anna and Kristoff merely watched the two big sisters gaze at their new bundle of joy.


	7. Princess Of Isolation

**A special thanks to my now 100+ followers.**

_Joan: Nine years old_

_Christian: 1 1/2 years old_

"I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!"

Joan had repeated this off and on about her brother for a good half-hour, with only Bjorn and the other reindeer to hear her in the stables. That was part of the problem.

"I mean, he's so boring! And they still just wanna be with him! Mommy, Daddy…..Aunt Elsa," Joan's throat caught at that part.

Her throat then took on the voice of Bjorn, as she spoke for him, "You know he's just a baby. Babies need more attention than ladies."

"Yeah, I'm not that stupid," Joan corrected him. "But at some point, enough's gotta be enough! I still drool sometimes too, but no one oohs and ahhs over me! Why is he so special?"

"They thought you were special too. Then you got older," Joan translated Bjorn's comeback. "He's new, they're not sick of him yet. Maybe they're sick of you."

"No, that can't be right…." Joan tried to convince Bjorn and herself.

"I mean, you were all they had for seven years," Bjorn seemed to say. "Maybe you're not good enough with competition."

Joan tried to block out the terrible theory – and truth – of Bjorn's words, but it was no use. "But….but they know me more. They should love me more."

"Then why haven't they shown it?" Joan spoke Bjorn's most devastating question.

"I…..I don't know," Joan got out, which was as good as admitting Bjorn was right. It all made sense.

They had enough of her, so now that something new and shinier – with drool and other things – was around, they didn't need her anymore. Not Mommy, not Daddy, not even Aunt Elsa. Not even her.

Well, who needed them anyway?!

"Fine! If that's how you feel, you can have him!" Joan yelled before Bjorn kept talking. "I'll….I'll run away, that's what I'll do! They're so busy watching _Christian_, they'll never spot me! I just gotta get supplies for the rest of my life, then I'm gone forever! Thank you for setting me straight!"

Unfortunately, Joan's ability to translate reindeer was not on the level of her father. Unfortunately, Bjorn's true words of advice about how her family still loved her had gotten lost. Unfortunately, Joan's skills weren't good enough to stop her from hearing what she wanted to hear – and feared too much to not make herself hear.

Fortunately, Bjorn still had decent communication skills with his father. Fortunately, Sven's hearing wasn't completely gone in his old age. Most improbable of all, Sven still had enough memory to warn Kristoff when he came by.

Yet neither Kristoff, Anna nor Elsa felt fortunate in the castle that night, after Kristoff passed on Sven's warning. "What did we do, what did we do, what did we do?" Anna repeated off and on for 10 minutes.

"We neglected our daughter. Which we're doing every minute we're not telling her we love her right now," Kristoff suggested. "Especially if she's already found supplies for the rest of her life."

"Oh, she'll only find enough for the next 20 years, and you know it!" Anna objected. "We've got time! We need it all for a big, dramatic gesture to show her we love her! We owe her that much!"

"Sometimes the fewest, simplest words can do the job," Kristoff offered. "You use too many of them, the important ones can get lost. I got 12 years of evidence for that."

"Kristoff, you already let me know I failed as a mother. I think your words have done enough," Anna accused. "Okay, those first words were really Bjorn's, but this isn't the time to top them! It's time to get every balloon maker in Arendelle in here!"

"And when we've made them rich, what then? One big gesture for one day won't cut it. Not if we go back to ignoring her," Kristoff pointed out. "It'll just disappoint her more! We gotta think ahead long term here!"

"So we give Joan all the attention and neglect Christian. Go ahead and fail the one kid we didn't fail yet?" Anna jumped ahead. "Should I plan ahead for Christian to run away too? _Before _he knows well enough to get supplies first?"

Technically, they were getting a head start on neglecting Christian now. As they kept debating, Elsa held the little one while on her throne, although her mind was elsewhere too. Tuning out Anna and Kristoff's fear, worry and guilt, she was lost in her own instead.

While her fear, worry and guilt weren't as overwhelming as before, they could still pop up once in a while. Joan feeling alone and neglected was as good a reason to bring them back as any.

To think Elsa thought the last 18 months had been easy. Christian had been such an easy going baby, for the most part – although the trolls did seem to still scare him. Otherwise, he was quiet and peaceful enough that Elsa sometimes wondered how he came from this family.

The insanity of the rest of the family, coupled with the increased insanity and aggravation of being Queen, made Elsa need a calming presence sometimes. When Anna didn't have one of her surprisingly wise moments and warm hugs, and when Kristoff was too busy with the ice and Svens, holding and rocking Christian gave Elsa the relaxation she needed.

Maybe this would be trouble for him later. Maybe he had more of Kristoff's loner tendencies – or Elsa's – than Anna's thirst for life. Or Joan's.

Great, even Elsa's inner monologue was neglecting Joan too.

She sighed while still tuning Anna and Kristoff out, and absent mindedly rocking Christian – who could at least sleep through anything like Anna. No, this was about _Joan._

Elsa hated herself for not seeing the signs. She hated that Joan wanted to protect herself from losing the only people she loved by running away – and hated how she would never forget how that felt.

How tragic and cowardly it was….yet how freeing and powerful and seductive and safe…..and yet how it nearly took away everything real.

Like it did for…..

"That's it," Elsa finally spoke aloud, though nowhere near loud enough for Anna and Kristoff.

"You can't solve everything with chocolate water fountains," Kristoff sighed.

"Because you're my husband, I'm giving you six seconds to take that back. Use that time wisely," Anna warned. Elsa really didn't want to know how it got to that point, so she took control.

"Enough!" Elsa interrupted them with her regal command – and a mild gale force wind in their faces. Naturally, Christian still hadn't woken up, so they were still good there. "I know how to reach Joan."

"Elsa, we're her neglectful, chocolate fountain hating parents. Shouldn't _we _figure out how to get through to _our _daughter? Aunt Elsa can't always save the day, you know," Anna insisted, as her own guilt and slight jealousy still ran through her.

"You'll still have a part to play," Elsa brushed through it. "First you can help me clear my schedule. Then we can pack up for tomorrow."

Once Elsa explained the rest of the plan clearer, Kristoff and even Anna eventually calmed down. After the plan was fully fleshed out, they got some sleep, although Elsa didn't want to have too much. In case Joan had stayed up late night to finish her own packing, Elsa wanted to be up as soon as possible.

Despite getting up earlier than usual, Elsa was a little scared when she went up to Joan's bedroom door. She performed Anna's usual five-step knock – then added her extra two raps so Joan would know it was her. If she was still inside….

"Aunt Elsa?" Joan called out from behind, making Elsa breathe a big sigh of relief. Now everything would be all right, if they stuck to the schedule.

"May I come in?" Elsa asked.

"Uh….hold on a second!" Joan answered, before Elsa heard a lot of poorly hidden noise.

"You don't have to hide your suitcases and chocolate supply, Joan. I know what you're planning to do," Elsa told her.

"Bjorn! I knew I should have talked to Magnus! I mean, um….who?" Joan poorly covered up again. At that point, Elsa sighed and just opened the door herself.

Joan was about halfway through hiding her supplies under her bed. Despite being caught, she still tried to dive in front of her stuff to hide it. One deadpan glare from Elsa made her finally give up, though. "He told you I was….running away?" Joan asked.

"Sven told Kristoff to tell us, actually. But don't be mad at them. Since you don't plan to see them again, it would be pointless," Elsa reminded.

"They don't wanna see me! I'm giving them what they want! All Christian, all the time!" Joan objected. "Cause it's what you want! Right?" she asked at the end with more sadness – and a hint of hope that Elsa would prove her wrong.

Elsa really wanted to prove her wrong with a warm hug, and a promise that she'd never stopped loving her. But that would only be a short term solution. Joan needed to know for good that a life of loneliness wasn't worth it.

"I know you don't like being talked out of anything," Elsa threw back at her. "It's clear you don't want to be talked out of this. And I don't want to spend our last moments together fighting."

"I don't want to too," Joan admitted, perhaps to more than that last point.

"So instead of fighting with you, I want to be more helpful," Elsa offered. "If you really want to be by yourself….I know a place that's perfect. If you don't mind me coming along to drop you off, I can show you."

Joan looked intrigued, at least enough to get her stuff from behind the bed. An actual place to stay by herself would be nice.

If Aunt Elsa wanted to take her, and have one last trip with her when it was completely too late….maybe Joan could give her that as a going away present. That sounded right. "Where am I going?" she agreed.

"A place I should have showed you at least four years ago."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As planned, Elsa had a sled and three of Sven's growing grand reindeer ready to take her and Joan out. As planned, Anna, Kristoff and Christian would ride out about a half-hour later. Until they caught up, however, Elsa and Joan had the ride over all to themselves.

They made good enough time and had enough of Joan's chocolate supply to get them through. Finally, they arrived at Elsa's proposed destination.

This was ahead of schedule for Elsa in the big picture. She only visited her ice palace twice a year, and the next visit wasn't set for two more months. But this called for a special exception.

"Is this…." Joan gasped in realization as they approached Elsa's ice bridge.

"Yes it is. My kingdom of isolation," Elsa reflected. "And now it's yours."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Joan couldn't stop gaping or smiling as she entered her new home. It looked even more beautiful and shiny than the stories. Mainly because Elsa had to make repairs and touchups every time she came here.

Otherwise, the palace looked just as it did when Elsa created it. She cleaned up the mess from that….incident 12 years ago, of course. And she actually added utilities, books and supplies that could help someone actually live here for longer than a few hours. Of course, since Elsa only came here one day every six months, it wasn't livable for the long term.

Joan didn't know that, though. Hopefully she wouldn't catch on before Elsa could talk to her. "Do you like it?" Elsa asked as Joan kept running up and down the icy staircase.

"I love it!" she cheered. "This is really my new home?"

"If you want it to be," Elsa bit down her instinct to yell and plead no. "If you want to be left alone and feel free, this is the right place. I would know."

Elsa went up the stairs, caught up to Joan and took her hand so they could finish going up together. "Technically, I don't know that much, though," she admitted. "I only stayed here for a few hours the first time."

"That's when the chicken dancing guy and the sideburns jerk tried to kill you?" Joan asked.

"Yes….well, the chicken man was more responsible that time," Elsa corrected. "But if he hadn't sent people to kill me, I might have never gone back to Arendelle. And then…."

Elsa knew this would be the hard part of the plan. It was always hard when she got to this area of the palace, even after 12 years. Although Joan knew this part of the story, it was still often too hard for Elsa to live through it again.

But maybe if this could become a place for something better to happen, it would help Elsa through the next visit. When she _would _be alone in here.

"If they didn't take me away, I never would have seen your mom again. No one would have," she made herself recall. "This place held great freedom for me. The first freedom I ever had. But it was still the place where….I almost killed your mother for the second time."

As Elsa reached the spot where her fear and cowardice made her strike Anna again, she didn't want to look at Joan. She could only take a peek at the corner of her eye, getting a brief look at the sadness in Joan's eyes. Yet it wasn't sadness caused by Elsa's crimes and near-murder against Anna – not entirely – but sadness over Elsa not feeling okay.

Elsa missed it when Joan showed that much concern for her. She really missed all of Joan these last 18 months, really. If this worked, she swore she would never let Joan miss anything that much again. But first, this had to work.

"I didn't know it then. All I wanted was to be free and get away from everything. Everything and everyone that didn't understand me. That stopped me from understanding myself. Even your mother, in a way," Elsa relived. "If I had to go without their love and understanding….it was time I did it on _my _own terms. And so I made this place."

Assured that Elsa was looking better, Joan wandered around again until she saw the balcony. She ran out and Elsa followed before she got too close to the railing. But they stopped in time to see the sun shining out from the mountains, looking every bit as resplendent as it did 12 years ago.

"Wow. You could see this every day?" Joan wowed.

"I did the first day. And I do it two days a year now," Elsa explained. "After I came back home and reconnected with your mother, I almost didn't come back here. I thought there was no need for it anymore. But I was wrong."

"How come?" Joan inquired.

"I need this place whenever I need to remember….my powers _can _be beautiful," Elsa shared. "I need it to give me peace whenever I'm overwhelmed at home. I need it to remember the first time I ever felt like _me_. At least the me I want to be."

Getting to the real point, Elsa paused and revealed, "And I need it to remind me that while this is a nice place to _visit_…..I can never really _live _here."

"Why not? No one can leave you," Joan offered as a counter point.

"Exactly. And no one can love me," Elsa responded. "I came here because I thought I _couldn't _be loved. How was I supposed to know I'd have a real family again, 12 years later? How could anyone? But it _was_ possible, I just couldn't see it. I still wish to this day I was brave enough to see it back then. Before the rest happened."

"But it worked out anyway," Joan noted.

"Exactly again. And here's how I really know why," Elsa said, bending down to Joan. "If I had stayed here forever, like I thought I wanted…..you never would have been born."

Joan thought it over, did the math, and was surprised to come to the same conclusion. Once Elsa saw that, she went on with, "That's right. No matter what I've made you think lately, I wouldn't trade that for _anything_. Certainly not this place. Who knows? Maybe if such a wonderful thing can happen to someone like _me,_ once I stopped running….it can happen to anyone."

Elsa laid it thick enough by then for Joan to get her real point. By then, she'd given her too much to think about for her to be mad, just like she planned. Nevertheless, while Joan was thinking along the right lines, she didn't come to the right conclusion yet.

"But Mommy and Daddy were looking for you. Mommy missed you," Joan reminded. "No one else misses me anymore."

"Joan!"

Elsa didn't plan for Anna to show up at that exact moment. Truthfully, she was a little early – now Elsa would have to cut out a particularly good analogy. It would have really made Joan ready for the next step, but maybe it could still work now.

At the least, it worked enough for Joan to head back to the balcony, where Anna and Kristoff were waiting down below, with Kristoff holding Christian.

"There you are!" Anna said, not needing to act to show her relief. "All that work uncovering Elsa's plan that she _didn't_ tell us about paid off!"

Elsa was a good enough actor to avoid rolling her eyes, and to stick to her line. "Anna! This is why I didn't tell you! Joan wants to be alone now. We already made her feel alone enough without trying to! Why don't you want to try now?"

"Because I love her!" Anna answered her on cue, then looked up at Joan. "We all do! I really like what Elsa's done with the place this time, but it's _her_ place! You belong with _us_ at Arendelle!"

"Why?" Joan asked honestly. Fortunately, it was as good a lead in as any. Anna then leapt to the bottom of the icy stairs – and began singing.

_"You don't have to be lonely. Don't be afraid,"_ Anna sang, changing the words from the last time she sang this melody in the palace. _"I won't shut you out again! I won't shut the door! I won't keep my distance anymore!"_

Anna marched up the stairs, fully belting out now. _"For the last time in forever! We've failed to understand!"_

Kristoff reluctantly made himself march up and sing his lyrics too, trying not to sing them directly into Christian's ear. _"For the last time in forever! We've failed to take your hand!"_

Elsa watched, amazed, weirded out and feeling a multi-layered sense of déjà vu all at once. Then again, she was the one that let them come up with this part of the plan. In a way, it would provide a kind of closure in many ways if it worked.

In the meantime, Anna and Kristoff were singing the end of the first stanza together. _"We can head down this mountain together. Loneliness you won't have to fear! Cause for the last time in forever….we've failed to be right here!"_

Anna and Kristoff arrived on top of the balcony, where Joan looked up at them. Clearly conflicted, she didn't know what to do or say, which made Elsa tempted to reach out. Until _Joan _started singing.

_"Mommy….please go back home. Christian awaits. Go enjoy my brother and close the gates!"_ Joan chimed.

Despite the depressing answer, Anna still gave a cocky glare to Elsa. For the life of her, Elsa knew she wouldn't live down being wrong that Joan would sing back. She didn't even know where the heck she came up with those words – then again, where did Elsa come up with hers 12 years ago?

Yet Joan didn't sound completely confident in her lyrics. Maybe Elsa's wisdom and connection with her had properly set her up. Now Anna's crazy ideas might just knock her down.

_"I know you mean well, but keep leaving me be. Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and…._" But when Joan meant to say the word free, it wouldn't come out.

It seemed the whole premise of making herself more alone, because she was so unhappy being alone, was falling apart. It didn't sound as freeing to her now. At this point, Anna and Kristoff knew they had her – if Christian did his part.

Speaking again, Kristoff said on cue, "Well, if you like being alone, I guess Christian will have to like it too."

"What do you mean? I thought we couldn't leave him alone for a second. That's the whole problem," Elsa spoke her line.

"Oh, I get the feeling you don't know. How could you, after being out here all day?" Anna spoke perfectly.

"What doesn't she know?" Joan jumped back in.

Instead of answering straight away, Anna took Christian from Kristoff and walked over to Joan. She held him out for her daughter, although Joan didn't feel like taking him. The whole point of this was to get away from the baby who replaced her….right?

"oan!"

Okay, that was the bigger question now. "What did he say?" Joan asked the question.

"He's kind of been trying to say Joan since you ran away," Anna shared – not sharing all the time she spent teaching Christian how to say Joan last night, and during the ride here. Elsa and Kristoff both hid their relief that it actually worked after all.

"Oan, oan, oan!" Christian kept saying, showing more life than Joan could remember. Then again, she hadn't exactly spent enough time with him to notice, since everyone else was hogging him up and ignoring her.

Yet….this baby hadn't forgotten about her. "He has?" Joan couldn't believe.

"It's okay. You can make him stop," Anna pretended to figure.

"No, I, I don't know how!" Joan unconsciously echoed her aunt again.

"Then we'll teach you. Teach the both of you together," Anna offered, before going back into song.

_"Cause for the last time in forever….this family will be apart! For the last time in forever….it's missing part of its heart!"_ Anna declared.

Joan wasn't singing lyrics of doubt, and there was no snow flying around. Which meant this sort of thing could actually work, for the first time in forever in this palace. And no one would get hurt and almost die.

That alone snapped Elsa into breaking the script – with the kind of sudden, inexplicable burst of song she hadn't needed in 12 years. _"We can work this out together….the wounds will start to heal!"_ At least that would fit in well enough.

Too wrapped up in song to be thrown off, Anna went on, _"Cause for the last time in forever!"_

_"For the last time in forever!"_ Kristoff sang only a half-second late.

_"For the last time in forever….." _Anna, Kristoff and Elsa left hanging, hoping and praying this worked just like Anna said it would. They kept the last note hanging, waiting for Joan to say or do anything to stop them.

Joan couldn't stop this reprise by throwing ice or magic at them – especially since the floors were still holding up from last year's checkup. But the three adults all hoped this was one song in here with a proper ending – a happier one.

Yet they kept holding the last note, and holding, and losing hope and their voices with each second….

_"I won't be right here!"_

Now the song was perfect. Not as perfect as Joan running up and hugging Anna's legs, though. Or as perfect as Anna bending down and hugging both her children.

"I'm sorry, Mommy…." Joan spoke again. "I thought I lost you guys already…."

"Never again," Anna promised. "_No one _in this family is shutting doors again."

"Even the music proof ones," Kristoff joked, now that he could do that again. Joan laughed and went to hug him next, so it seemed like good timing after all.

Elsa came over by the time Joan stopped and turned to her. "Aunt Elsa? You know how I said I wanted to be alone forever? I didn't really."

"No one ever does. No matter how much they act like it. No matter how much they never wanted to act like it," Elsa shared.

"Well, we've done enough acting for a lifetime. Before today!" Anna poorly tried not to throw any suspicion, but it went over Joan's head anyway. "So, can we all go home now and stay there?"

Joan didn't answer, as she took a last look around at the palace home she never got. Elsa watched her take it in, then decided, "You know, as long as we're all together for the day, I think we're good. It doesn't matter what palace we're really in."

However, it did make a big difference to be here. Since Elsa had enough reserves inside to last a full day, and both sleds had enough rations and materials left from the ride over, the family was actually able to spend much of the day there.

It was the first time a group of people spent an extended amount of time here without trying to commit murder. It was certainly the first time an entire family was ever here for more than three minutes. Heck, it was the first time this family of five spent an entire day together in months.

Elsa created this palace to be alone, happy and free. Even when she was truly alone and happy, she liked finding freedom and peace here twice a year. Yet the benefits she found in her past 25 trips couldn't compare to the ones she felt now.

Especially when Joan went back up to the balcony as the sun began to go down – holding Christian in her arms.

As boring as Joan thought he was, she had to admit, him being peaceful and quiet was easier to like here. Even when he spoke up by saying "oan" again.

"I'm sorry I tried to run away," Joan made a personal apology. "Maybe if I spend more time with you….teach you some of my favorite games….I'll get what all the fuss is about. Is that okay?"

Christian merely hiccupped, which Joan took as a yes. She patted him on the back like Aunt Elsa did, in case it meant something else. As good as she was at reindeer translating, her baby language skills might need some work.

In any case, Elsa watched the siblings at peace together in here – the first siblings to ever have that in this building. It took an insane plan with somewhat justifiable fibs and lucky, unscripted singing to do it, but there it was.

Regardless of how it happened, this day did more than keep a family together. More than give them all a much needed day off together.

Elsa created this place as a Kingdom of Isolation. But today, the name just didn't seem to fit anymore. It never should have, really.

There was another set of long closed gates that would never close again. At least for two days a year. Maybe more, depending on the need for more family vacations.


	8. Family Motto

_Joan: 10 years old_

_Christian: 3 years old_

Elsa didn't know what unnerved her most. The rocking of the sea, or Christian shivering in his bed.

However, when Christian made himself still once he noticed Elsa watching him, Elsa figured it out.

Taking her quiet, solitary nephew with her on a royal voyage to the Western Isles was always going to be a gamble. But by now, she could accept the kingdom would stay standing without her – especially with Joan keeping Anna and Kristoff from going off on many adventures. It also wasn't Elsa's first voyage by boat, although they still made her….less than comfortable. But that was manageable too.

It should be easy to manage Christian, since he never got in much trouble or talked to many people, other than his family. Yet Elsa almost hoped it wouldn't be easy.

She wanted this trip to help Christian expand his horizons. To open up and enjoy a whole wider world - within safe reason. Since the Western Isles had proven it was different than….other Isles years ago, Elsa knew this would be a safe place for Christian's first trip to another land.

Of course, if Christian still insisted on keeping his feelings to himself – as he did with Elsa just seconds ago – then this was a hare-baked idea. Usually those ideas worked when Anna used them. Maybe Elsa should have brought her along and gotten some of her residue dumb luck.

But no, she had to insist on doing this herself. That she and Christian would have fun together.

Of course, Elsa knew the boat ride would hardly be fun, for various reasons. She had hoped it wouldn't set the tone for the whole trip.

Perhaps once she stopped thinking about the noise outside, the rain – and the waves they could create – the tone could be salvaged in the morning.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

By morning, the rain had stopped and there were no boat destroying waves in sight. In fact, the shores of the Western Isles were in sight instead. Relieved, Elsa went down to her room and got Christian out to see for himself.

Christian was dressed by then, in a nice blue suit that was still kind of stuffy on him. His dark blonde hair was brushed back, and his blue eyes looked calm. At least they did before they got to the docks and he got his first look at the Western Isles.

He tried to stay placid and calm – but Elsa knew all the signs of someone clearly _trying _to be calm. She might understand too many things about Christian that she had hoped to forget. But she couldn't forget Christian telling her now that, "I wanna go home."

"You can stay in your room until we get there," Elsa deliberately misunderstood him.

"No, I wanna go home. To Mom, Dad and Joan," Christian corrected her.

"We will. But we have to stay there for two days first," Elsa explained again. "Don't worry. We'll have so much to do there together, the time will go by real quick."

"I don't wanna," Christian spoke up. _Now _he was getting assertive. "I don't know people there. It's sc…." He cut himself off before completing the word.

"You know I'll be with you the whole time. Most of the time," Elsa corrected before she could stop herself. But she couldn't well bring him to her meetings with the King and the royal family – and she didn't know if he could come to the ball in her honor tomorrow. As such, false hope probably wouldn't help him.

"They wanna see you, not me. I don't have to be here. I'm better at home," Christian told her. "Don't need anything else."

"I think this will be good for you," Elsa tried to be reasonable. "You can't just talk to your family all day. You need to surround yourself with more people. Talk to them. Let them get to know you. Get to know the world around you," she explained - saying everything she wished she'd been taught when she was a few years older than Christian.

"I like _my _world! What if we don't get back? We barely got here!" Christian exaggerated a little. "Can we go back, please?"

"I promised the Western Isles king I'd come here. I can't break my promise. And I can't send you home by yourself. Even with these men," Elsa pointed out, trying to stay even. "You wouldn't like that anyway."

"No, it's scary!" Christian completed that word this time. Yet he gasped and covered his mouth as a result – then truly looked scared. Of Elsa.

"Christian, what's wrong?" Elsa asked, starting to get nervous herself. However, Christian looked like he was trying to…._conceal_ again. He wasn't as successful this time, although he still wasn't talking.

"Can we go home?" Christian finally asked quietly. Elsa frowned, feeling frustrated, a bit inadequate and a little annoyed.

He had been shy and kind of antisocial in Arendelle – to a sometimes uncomfortably familiar degree. Kristoff assumed he took after him, yet Elsa didn't entirely see Kristoff in Christian's behavior. Even if Elsa's days of acting like that were over a decade ago – and Christian didn't have ice powers as an excuse. What was his excuse now?

"Christian, you never wanted to come here," Elsa guessed. Since he clearly wouldn't answer, Elsa reminded him, "I asked you back home if you wanted to go with me, and you said yes."

"I thought I could. I can't," Christian sounded embarrassed.

"Why did you think you could in the first place?" Elsa pressed on. "Why didn't you just say no then, _before_ I took you? Did you think…."

Before she got angrier and scarier, Elsa started to think and say a truly terrifying thought. "Did you think I'd be mad if you said no?" Is that what her own nephew thought of her? Is that why he looked so scared? Why he was concealing from _her_?

"No. Just…..dis'pointed," Christian admitted. Once Elsa filled in the gap from that last word, she was even more confused. And maybe even more concerned than if he was just scared of her.

"Why would I feel that? Did you think I'd be…..dis'pointed, in _you_?" Elsa asked him. When he didn't answer yes – but didn't answer no, either – she didn't feel like a very good aunt all of a sudden.

"You think I'm someone who would feel _that_? About my own nephew?" she began to look and sound heartbroken. "What do you _really _think I am? Tell me the truth!"

Elsa knew that tone was probably making it worse. But if Christian was already terrified of her, or of letting her down, it was likely too late now. One way or another, the damage was done. Where was Anna's incredible, irrational luck when –

"You're the bravest person ever."

Now _that _was an incredible, irrational way to break her panic attack.

"And….I wanted not to be scared too. I failed." That was a less flattering and more sad way to get her attention.

"Christian, what are you talking about?" Elsa tried to clear this up further. If a three-year-old who didn't talk about his feelings too much could do that.

"You're Queen. You got magic. You talk to lots of people. You make Joan stop running 'round," Christian listed off, making Elsa chuckle a little at the end. "You're not scared of anything. I….I didn't want you to know I was." Losing his courage, Christian put his head down and said quietly, "I'm sorry, Aunt Elsa."

So that was it? Hiding how scared he was from her last night? Thinking she would be disappointed in him for not going? Not because he was scared of Elsa, but because he thought…. "You think I'd be upset because you were scared?" Elsa tried to make sense of.

"Yeah. You're never scared," Christian repeated. "I can't do that stuff. I wanted to! But I'm….not brave like you."

By instinct, Elsa's heart broke at the misery of a family member. By instinct, she felt compelled to think it was really her fault. Maybe this time it was warranted. But….someone being ashamed because they weren't as brave as _Elsa_? That was new.

In fact, it was almost downright funny.

Before Elsa knew it, she was  
actually laughing at this downright funny thing. "Aunt Elsa?" Christian asked and was eventually heard when Elsa quieted down.

"Oh, sweetheart…." Elsa answered, with fondness, a bit of sorrow and with leftover humor. She knelt down to hug her nephew, hoping to sooth him before she educated him about her.

"You think I'm too brave for you? You don't know how funny that is. Not yet," Elsa told him. "I've been terrified every day for the last 26 years. The last 13 years haven't been so bad, but….oh, the stories I could tell. The stories I _will _tell….later."

Pulling back to face Christian, Elsa continued, "Here's one. I'm still terrified of boats. Like you."

"You?" Christian looked confused now.

"You probably didn't hear my nerves over yours. But I have them. Every time I come on a boat," Elsa admitted. "Your Grandmom and Grandpop went on a boat once. They….never went on anything else again," she sugarcoated. "It's really hard for me to be on a boat at night, especially when it's raining. But I got through it last night. Do you want to know how?"

Elsa was filled with warmth and confidence again, now that she figured this out as she went along. Not quite as chaotically as when Anna did it, but there was something to be said for this. Especially if she could get the truth through to Christian.

When she saw Christian waiting, Elsa smiled and shared, "_You_ got me through it."

"Me? No I didn't," Christian denied. "I was too scared."

"I know," Elsa told him. "That's why I wouldn't let myself get more scared. Because you needed me. That's how it all works."

"What works?" Christian asked.

"Me being brave. The only reason I can do all those things you said….is because of the people I love," Elsa shared. "Your mom, dad, Joan, Olaf, the Svens, our people….and you. I need to be strong so I can protect you and care for you. Having you there last night….reminded me as scared as I was, I had to be brave if you needed me."

"But I tried not to," Christian confessed.

"I know. I made myself ready if you failed. And it got me through the night. Just like your parents and your sister get me through everything else I do," Elsa went on. "They don't need to be brave themselves. They just need to be there with me. That's….a gift I still don't take for granted."

Once Elsa counted her blessings anew, she brought it back to Christian. "It's like how you're here now, even if you are scared. Just like me."

"Like you? Me?" Christian hopefully started to understand.

"I'm not comfortable with most people either. I could freeze them in an instant if I'm really uncomfortable," Elsa sighed. "But as long as I have you to look after, I know I'll be under control while I'm here."

"But I can't do magic or talk good," Christian still insisted.

"But you're my nephew, and I love you, and you love me. You don't have to do anything else. I don't _ever _want you to think you have to again," Elsa urged.

"But you said I had to know the world," Christian reminded her. Elsa hated that he was smart enough to remember that, for about a second.

"Yes, I want you to play and get out there more. I'm still going to love you if you don't," Elsa promised. "And _whatever _you're feeling, I _never _want you to hide it from me. I want you to feel however you want. And I want you to know you can tell me anything."

Getting another sudden but perfect idea, Elsa knew just what to tell him. "Here's something for you. It's something your mother taught me a long time ago. It's the reason I can control my powers. It's….it's really the reason you were born. So it's kind of a family motto."

"What is it?" Christian wondered.

Elsa briefly went back to 13 years ago, then came back and held Christian's hands - just like how she once did with his revived mother. "Love will thaw."

Christian seemed to think it over, so Elsa helped him out further. "Every time I'm scared, I think of someone in my family. Your mother, father, sister, snowman, reindeer, anyone. If they're there with me, it's even better. Because I know if I don't feel good, someone I love will be there to help me let it go. Whether I'm brave or not."

"Love will thaw….." Christian repeated.

"Yes," Elsa encouraged. "It's thawing right now. Because I have you here. Knowing you're with me is all I need to get through this trip. Like it got me through the boat ride. I just hope that….you can feel the same way about me. That thinking of me….knowing I'll be there with anything you need….will make you feel stronger."

Elsa closed her eyes in amazement, although her smile stayed on. She knew she didn't sound like herself just now – at least not the Elsa from years past. She sounded like Anna from years past – and from the present sometimes, she had to admit.

Nevertheless, she was passing on Anna's life-saving advice and wisdom to Anna's own son. It was as if Anna really was here. Like Christian's mother was here. Like Anna and Elsa's own mother was here – at least the dream version of her Elsa still sometimes wished she had for those 13 years.

All told, Elsa didn't feel like the aunt right now. Even if that was all she might ever be.

But it was in moments like this where it always didn't feel too bad.

"Even if you have Queen stuff?" Christian checked, answering Elsa's last statement.

"Yes, even then," Elsa laughed in relief. "Love even thaws through Queen stuff too. And I love you that much. Do you love me too?"

Christian didn't answer in that second, which briefly made Elsa nervous. But she began to thaw when Christian began to open his mouth – yet a louder sound drowned him out.

It seemed while they were talking, their boat had finally docked into the Western Isles. What's more, there was a whole crowd of people and dignitaries, complete with a marching band, waiting to greet them. Hardly a good way to ease them in.

Elsa stood up, far more used to such a crowded greeting than Christian. Still, getting caught off guard like this – and right before a major breakthrough with her nephew – wasn't ideal. It would take a while to compose herself.

Fortunately, the right motivation was next to him.

Before she started using it, Elsa kept a shaken up look on her face when she looked at Christian. To show him proof that her aunt didn't always have it so together. Yet he would see her face morph back to one of strength, royalty and love before his eyes – all because she looked at and thought of him.

If Christian saw for himself that he was her strength, merely by being there – and being alive in general – maybe he'd see that Elsa could be his strength too. Still, he had to know he didn't have to act a certain way just to please her. There'd been enough of that in this family in the past.

"You can stay in the boat if you want. I can send the guards to bring you to the castle later. If that's what you want," Elsa offered. "Whatever you feel like is okay."

Christian looked back at the awaiting crowd. Since he didn't run away or look more intimidated, Elsa felt encouraged. He then looked up at her, so Elsa put on her best thawed face, hoping it would hold back his fear.

He said nothing to show her it had. He might have if it wasn't for the boat arriving on time – another reason not to trust them.

However, instead of words, Christian used the simple act of taking Elsa's hand. Kind of like what Joan would do – perhaps thinking of her gave him that final burst. Elsa felt pride and slight jealousy at her niece for hypothetically doing that.

Whoever did it, it worked either way, as Elsa finally made her way off the ship, hand in hand with a willing Christian.

Cheering crowds, guards keeping them at a distance, and the attention from strangers wasn't Christian or Elsa's first cup of tea at Arendelle. Let alone at a foreign nation, even if it was one of the two best Isles. But unlike over a decade ago, Elsa could accept their cheers and greet their ambassadors without flinching inside once.

Maybe Christian wasn't that far along yet. But he wasn't flinching on the outside now. The one time he did, he just squeezed Elsa's hand harder, yet an extra squeeze from her settled him down.

Elsa assumed it might be different when he got to the Western Isles castle, saw their rooms for the next two days, and explored the unfamiliar grounds. Meeting foreign royal figures and a foreign staff, without the comfort of being at home, might be intimidating for him as well.

Even if it was, he wouldn't have to take it on alone. He would learn that lesson much sooner than others in his family did. If he hadn't already. At the least, Christian didn't ask Elsa to go home early again.

For so long, Elsa thought she could never properly repay Anna. Or make things up to her. Yet helping her son slowly emerge from his shell, much like Anna did for Elsa….without anyone almost dying or getting separated….

For the first time, Elsa thought they might be even someday after all.


	9. Harsh Truths

**Warning: Less fluff in the next few chapters**

_Joan: 12 years old_

_Christian: 5 years old_

The sky was awake, but Christian wasn't. Not until Joan got him with her second snowball. Filled with excitement, she got him with a third before he really felt awake.

Christian fell down on the snowy grass at the back of the castle, which made Joan cheer in victory. Yet before long, she saw Christian hadn't gotten up to pout. Some ancient memory told her to be weary of someone lying still in the snow - but Joan still went over to check anyway.

"Christian? Are you sleeping?" Joan asked, but got no answer. "I didn't hit you that hard….right?" she asked with more caution. Maybe she played too hard with him again and he was back in his "I wanna be alone" act.

"Christian?" Joan stood over him and leaned in close. Close enough for Christian to reach over with a handful of snow, and smear it all over his sister's face.

"Gah! Cold, cold, cold!" Joan shrieked. Getting hit with a snowball was quick and painless - but having cold, fresh, non Aunt Elsa made snow rubbed in her face this early was far less fun. Especially with Christian, of all people, getting the drop on her.

Once Christian was finished, he jumped up and ran away, leaving Joan to clean off her cold face. "You're gonna pay for that!" Joan vowed, picking up the chase and following him around until he hid behind a bush.

Joan peeked below it and saw Christian lying down, yet he sprang up when he noticed Joan. However, Joan correctly guessed Christian would go to the left, so she leapt back up and blocked him before he got away. He was promptly backed up again as Joan joined him behind the bush, ready to toy with him.

"Well, well….now what should I do with you? I vote for something humiliating," Joan teased.

"I vote you let me go! Now we're even, you can't do nothing!" Christian objected.

"Stupid math, I always knew it was useless. What else can I do?" Joan pondered, absent mindedly bending down to collect some snow – then she used that hand to lean on Christian's head, covering his hair with snowy revenge.

"Oh, sorry, sorry!" Joan clearly faked. "Let me get that off you," she offered, although all she did was get the snow on his brother's coat. In an attempt to get that off him, she 'accidentally' brushed his most ticklish spots.

"Stop it, you know what that does to me!" Christian protested, while trying not to laugh.

"Oh, I keep forgetting. Maybe this will jog my memory," Joan offered, before pinning him and unleashing a full on tickle assault.

Once Christian gave in and started laughing, Joan had time to gather more snow and wipe it on his coat, as a pretense for more tickling. She could have gone on for hours, yet when Christian finally managed to breathe and quiet down, they both heard faint footsteps.

Technically, they weren't supposed to be out this early. Therefore, the fighting siblings got on the same page and quieted down, staying right behind the bush in case Mom, Dad, Aunt Elsa, Kai, Gerta or even Olaf were looking for them.

However, none of them were walking into the yard. There were about three men there, but none of them were family or staff. Joan even thought she recognized one or two of them, from those times she accidentally saw a newspaper.

"You know this isn't going to work. She's refused this for 15 years," the man with a mustache said. "She's not going to magically change her mind now. She wasn't cursed with _those _powers."

"Unfortunately not. But she will know we're ready to take more drastic action," the man with a beard said. "And she'll know there are many like us too. We're done standing by while she starves out Arendelle's future. She owes us an heir _now_!"

"We're probably too late," the man with glasses said. "She's 36 years old, for Gods sake! Between that and the economy, we're long past the point where suitors would bang down the gates by now!"

"We all know that, trust me," bearded man responded. "It's the Queen who won't face reality."

Even with all the earlier hints, this finally made Joan and Christian realize who they were talking about. "They're mad at Aunt Elsa?" Christian quietly asked anyway, yet Joan stayed still.

"Like she could see over that family of hers," mustache man accused. "If she was spending all that time having an affair with Kristoff, that wouldn't be so bad! We could work around that! We'd probably have gotten an heir out of that! But no!"

"That would imply the Queen likes being around men. I think that ship sailed long ago," glasses man laughed – although their hidden audience didn't see how that was funny.

"You probably don't want to say that when we see her," mustache man replied.

"You know what? Why shouldn't I?" glasses man asked. "She's spent 15 years refusing to meet with _male _suitors! Who or what else would hate men for that long? Maybe calling her out on it will get through to her! You know she hates being called out for being abnormal! And that's the abnormal stuff we _know _about!"

"We're trying to save the future of Arendelle. This isn't school yard name calling," bearded man stepped in, to the relief of mustache man – and the children. "Whatever unnatural behavior drives her, the important thing is to make her stop. There's no getting around it anymore."

"I'm sorry. The stakes got the best of me," glasses man barely sounded sorry. "The Queen is just so selfish, you know? We knew that the day she almost killed us all, and yet we still let her come back! You'd think 15 years would be enough time for her to learn her duty."

"We all know that. The trick is to be more subtle when telling the people that, if we have to," mustache man offered. "The longer she plays house and keeps thinking only of herself, the more they'll understand. Then they might just do the work for us."

"That's true. They've already had to accept a witch in charge. A barren witch with no interest in men, children or this nation's future? She has to know the majority don't favor that anymore. Or her at this rate. If she won't hear it from us, we can make her hear it from them," glasses man figured.

When they quieted down, Christian could finally ask Joan, "Why are they being mean to Aunt Elsa? She's the best!"

"I know…." Joan said quietly, but had nothing else for him. Hearing someone talk that way about Aunt Elsa for the first time, let alone three people in her royal council….it was one of the few times Joan really wanted to stay quiet.

Otherwise, she might get way too loud.

Since she hadn't lived through Elsa's rough early days as queen, and since she didn't need to concern herself with big royal business – like her parents usually didn't – Joan couldn't comprehend anyone hating her that much. After 12 years of having the greatest aunt in the world, it was too late for Joan to think people would _want_ to say….that stuff about her.

Of course Christian felt the same way, but he was only five years old. Joan had seven extra years of Elsa's love and care to _really _understand who she was. To understand that she couldn't understand anyone hating her – let alone a majority of people.

"Let's not get too hasty. We still want her to keep the throne," mustache man reminded his friends. "The whole sad truth is, she's the best of all the bad options, until Arendelle can start over with an heir. The whole reason we need one is so we don't end up with those….bad options if she dies childless! _When _she does, if we don't do something!"

"Yes, this nation would never survive a _Queen Anna_," bearded man mocked. "Let alone a _King Kristoff_. And God help us if those children of theirs get near the throne. She can pretend all she wants, but they aren't _her _kids. If they were,_ then_ Arendelle would truly collapse."

"Exactly. One mindless, ignorant girl in pigtails near the throne is enough. Two of them is too many," glasses man insisted. "At least the boy is too weird to talk much. Then again, with the females he's stuck with, how _could _he get to talk much?"

"Well, if worst comes to worst, _he _might know his place. At least someone in that family does," bearded man laughed. "I wish it wasn't the simple one. But best of bad choices, right?"

Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Joan knew that even before seeing Christian tear up. She knew enough to gather the most snow she could, stand in front of the bush and give these people a real thrashing. And then….if she didn't spare her brother from her ticklish wrath, she was _not _going to spare them.

First she had to knock their brains out with snowballs, of course. They still didn't see her, so she was ready to throw the first one – right at glasses guy. But she'd cover all of them in snow soon enough.

However, someone then beat her to it.

A massive, heavy gust of snow and wind flew at the three mean men without warning. Joan thought ahead enough to duck back behind the bush – but the men didn't have such good hiding places.

Even if they did, there was nowhere they could hide. Not with Aunt Elsa marching outside after her storm ended. Not with her looking that…..peeved.

"Your Majesty!" bearded man nervously got out. "We were…."

"What?!" Aunt Elsa hissed, as angry as her niece and nephew had ever heard her. "Saying how we wouldn't survive Queen Anna or King Kristoff? Thanking God their 'simple' children aren't on the throne? Wishing we all _knew our place_?! I think I understood just fine!"

"And that's…._all _you understood?" glasses guy asked. "You came here _right _at that part?"

"Unfortunately for you," Aunt Elsa growled, too mad to notice their sighs of relief. Joan and Christian barely noticed themselves, in between their awe, pride and fear at their aunt.

"Isn't it _enough _you won't leave me alone about my….._fertility_? To take it out on my family…..my niece and nephew…." Elsa said over the next round of snow and wind right at them. Yet it faded away when she concluded, "You know what? If you can't stand it, there's no reason for you to be that close to them. Or me."

"We still have reason. The _people_ elected us to carry out those reasons. In case you forgot about – " glasses man stopped the second Aunt Elsa stared right at him.

"I'm glad you have a good memory. In that case, you won't forget this. You are all banned from the council and from castle grounds! Indefinitely!" Aunt Elsa commanded. "Go before I make it permanent."

"You can't do that! You have no idea –" bearded man stopped the second another gust of wind knocked him on his butt.

"I will hear no more ideas from you today. If ever. Leave. _Now_," Aunt Elsa ordered. This time, they all obeyed her.

Thinking she was all alone, Elsa felt free to shoot another heavy, localized blizzard of snow and wind in the yard. Yet she was still hissing and breathing heavily, her anger far from fading away. At what they said today, at what they and others had said for weeks, months and years, all of it.

That is, until she finally heard other noises. Shivering noises. Young noises.

With one look at a nearby bush, the snow and wind instantly stopped. But in that one second, Elsa's intense anger turned to even more intense fear. More fear than even Joan and Christian showed at their Aunt Elsa right now.

"Joan….Christian!" Elsa cried out, rushing over to them. However, they cringed ever so slightly when she rushed over – which instantly made her stop and fall to her knees.

"I knew you'd sneak in here," Elsa explained in a rush. "I thought I could sneak out and play with you….then I heard them and_ you_ heard them and you _saw me_…." Her old fear and disgust at herself returned for a moment, as she babbled, "I was so angry I forgot you were…." Elsa breathed heavy again, not out of anger this time.

"We're okay, Aunt Elsa," Christian promised. But Elsa wasn't afraid that her powers hurt them – she knew they hadn't gotten that close. The thought that she'd made them afraid of her, after seeing just how terrifying she could be for the first time….in a way, it was far worse.

Joan could see that when Elsa reached her hands out to them, afraid that they'd be too afraid to take them. She was just starting to realize the political damage she'd done - but this kind of damage would be too much to bear.

Fortunately, Joan and Christian took her hands and made it far more bearable. Especially when Elsa pulled them in for hugs, and they didn't run away. They couldn't, now that she was their Aunt Elsa again.

"I'm so sorry I scared you," Elsa still made sure to say. "I'm okay, I promise….the bad Aunt Elsa is gone. So are the bad men that provoked her."

"Aunt Elsa, why did glasses guy say you hate men?" Christian asked without thinking. Joan was more embarrassed, yet Elsa was more confused as she broke the embraces.

"I didn't hear him say that," Elsa told him, a frown coming back to her face. "I only heard what they said about you guys." The frown deepening, but not to a wintery level, she asked, "What _else_ did they say?"

Joan didn't understand everything they were talking about, and Christian certainly didn't. However, they told her most of the words they could remember, whether they knew what they meant or not. Unfortunately, Elsa understood them all.

"Let's go find your parents," Elsa instructed, wanting to get them inside – and far away from council chambers – as fast as possible.

They would not be safe for families of any kind today.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Once Joan and Christian found Anna and Kristoff, Elsa went away. None of them saw her again for the entire day. They were told she was in a meeting with the royal council and her other advisors, but they didn't normally take this long. And the servants never heard that much yelling from behind the doors before – especially from the Queen.

Anna and Kristoff were even turned away when they tried to get in and see her. If it wasn't for the last 15 years, Anna would be far more upset at having the door locked from her, and her children. Besides, from what she heard, she wanted to get some yelling and right hooks in at these people too.

But all she and her family could do was try and go about their day, ignore the rumors and yelling, and hope Elsa would come out in one piece. If only for her piece of mind, they hoped everyone else would too.

It took until night time, but the family was finally told that Elsa was waiting for them in her study. When they got to her door, Anna knocked her usual knock, hoping it would bring some kind of relief to Elsa.

"Come in," she heard her say. While those words from Elsa still brought Anna joy, even now….this was the worst she ever sounded when she said them. After Anna opened the door, she saw how Elsa didn't look too much better either.

"What's this all about? Are we getting new ice sculptures or not?" Kristoff opened with a joke/serious concern/semi-hope.

"No. There are some things I need to tell you, though," Elsa put on her serious voice, as her family tried to get comfortable and look less worried.

"You know I've refused to accept suitors for 15 years. I've tried to keep the….more specific details from all of you. So I wouldn't worry you," Elsa shared. "Old habits still refuse to die, I suppose. But it's too late now."

"What's too late?" Kristoff spoke, beating Anna to it. Instead of answering that point right away, Elsa filled in the gaps first.

"After the Great Thaw, neighboring kingdoms were too afraid to seek my hand in marriage. Back then, we had more important things on our minds too," Elsa explained. "But after we got our trade back up, and my….reputation improved, princes and aspiring princes were more interested to see me. Still, I was too busy running a kingdom and reconnecting with Anna to see them."

"You turned down chances at love for that? For me?" Anna chimed in.

"Halfway because of you. And it wasn't even your…." Elsa stopped herself from getting bogged down. "In any case, the council got more impatient for me to settle down. However, the harder I worked to improve Arendelle's fortunes, the more they got distracted. As long as we were booming and me being the 'Snow Queen' was a good thing, having a king and an heir wasn't a top priority. I made it so it didn't have to be."

"But now it is," Kristoff guessed.

"We haven't been growing over the last few years," Elsa admitted. "We're still solid and healthy, we're just not….improving as much as we used to. Now that our short term future isn't skyrocketing, more and more people are worried about the long term. About how I don't have an heir to the throne. And how I'm not looking for one."

"I thought being your heir was my job. I don't do it that much, but it's still my job," Anna admitted.

"And I hope you never have to do it. But the only way to be sure is to….have a child of my own," Elsa repeated. "That means having a husband. That means likely being forced into an arranged marriage. That means having someone else rule with me…..someone likely to be more respected than me. Especially if he's a man without ice powers."

"Who told you that? Was it the mustached guy?" Anna asked with a frown.

"No, it's just common sense," Elsa admitted. "I've tried to hold it back as long as I can. I've used so much good will and so many favors to do it. But the longer this goes on, the more this issue just won't go away. Especially since I'm a Queen of a stagnant kingdom, in my mid-30's, who's never had _any_ relationship with a man."

Turning to Joan, Elsa shared, "Like you said they said….there aren't a lot of princes left who want that. That's why the council's trying to force me to find someone, while I still can. That's what those men were going to try and do today. If I met with them, I might have been able to appease them a while longer. But now that I banned them instead….it doesn't make me look good."

"You kicked them out for insulting us! You might look bad for not going with the ice sculpture idea, but that's it!" Kristoff pointed out. "How else can they be mad at you?"

"I attacked members of my own council. The same three members fighting hardest to get Arendelle a King and an heir. It doesn't matter that that's _not _why I kicked them out. What matters to them, and to the people, is how it looks," Elsa sighed. "I spent hours learning that today."

"Well, put us in there and we'll teach them better!" Anna insisted. "I had tons of teachers, I know how they think!"

"That's not why you had so many of them," Elsa reminded. "In any case, there's no changing their minds now. Today was the last straw for too many of them."

"They need straws? I got some in my room!" Christian offered.

"No, sweetheart, that's not it," Elsa said kindly, but with less energy. "If I'm ever going to find a husband and have an heir….they made it clear there's not much time left to find a good one. The fact I'm not even trying isn't acceptable to them anymore. If I don't start trying soon….they made it clear that more people will find me….unfit for the throne. Unfit to secure Arendelle's future."

"What?!" Anna sprung up. "Did _they _save us from an eternal winter you caused?! No! So who are they to judge you?!"

"It's not just them. People outside the castle are….talking too," Elsa revealed. "Now that I threw their top representatives out, they'll be talking even more. It'll get too loud if I don't do something."

"Then talk back! Or send me, I'm extra good at that stuff!" Anna said, without any self-awareness. "Just tell them you'll find love in your own time!"

"When? I let too much time pass already!" Elsa groaned. "I spent too much time making sure I wouldn't _have _to look! Now I'm out of moves! Now there's no more deals to make, no grand distractions….even bringing those _men _back would only buy a day or two of peace. It's going to take something more than that."

"Elsa….what are you saying?" Anna asked, fearing she knew the answer already. Elsa did nothing to prove her wrong.

"I'm too old, too inexperienced and too short of time to find true love. Not like you did. Not like I even tried," she told Anna. "I spent 15 years trying _not _to be forced into this. But any chance I had to keep putting it off died today."

Sighing, she confirmed the now inevitable news. "I'm going to narrow down a list of potential, eligible suitors who still have interest in….Arendelle. Then I'm going to invite them here. Then they're going to try and court me. And eventually….I'll have to pick one of them to be my King. And the father of Arendelle's future ruler."

"You….you can't! Not like this!" Anna protested.

"I spent all day hearing otherwise," Elsa answered.

"Well, you listened to the wrong people! Elsa, you're….you're the Queen! You're so much more powerful than them! Joan and Christian saw it!" Anna cited. "You're the greatest ruler Arendelle's ever had! You don't need to arrange marriage someone to be fit for that! Why don't you tell them?!"

"I've told them with everything I've done for 15 years. They just aren't listening anymore. And I'm out of ways to tell them," Elsa confessed.

"Then your family will find new ones!" Anna promised.

"I'm not putting that on you. Or them. _I _put this off far too long. _I _didn't even try to find someone myself. The best I can do now….is pick the best bad option I have left," Elsa admitted. "Tomorrow morning, I'm going to start looking for suitors. No matter how many are still left."

Not wanting to look at Anna or Kristoff and keep the debate going, Elsa went back to Joan and Christian. "At least you'll have a new baby cousin to play with someday. _My_ own child. Your next King or Queen."

"But Elsa…." Anna's despair was winning out.

"There's no more to say. I'm done saying things today," Elsa conveyed. "Now that I've brought you up to speed, I just want to rest." Getting up, she went on, "I have an even longer day to get ready for tomorrow."

"Please, just…." Anna ran out of words for once. Elsa was out of them too, so she left without even a good night.

Anna scrambled to think of something else to tell her, while Kristoff got into "shoulder to cry on" mode. Christian was too young to have much to say, though.

Joan was another matter – yet for once, she wasn't saying a word.


	10. The Proposal

_Three days later_

"You can make me your heir, please."

When Elsa asked Joan what she could do for her once she came in her study, this was _not _an answer she expected. Obviously it had to be a joke. "I'm sorry?" Elsa asked in disbelief.

"I want to be your heir," Joan repeated, without any jokes in her voice. That made it scarier for Elsa. "Then you don't have to be arranged married."

Elsa's jaw would have dropped if she was Joan's mother, or anyone other than the Queen. Even now, it was difficult to keep her face still. "Where….where did you get that idea?" she asked.

"Those guys need you to have a baby. I'm 12 years older than a baby!" Joan did the math. "If I'm your heir, I'll be way ahead of a baby! And you don't need to be married or pregnant or anything!"

Elsa's jaw went down a little that time, as she scrambled to point out, "Joan….first of all, you're already my heir. You're second in line for the throne, after your mother."

"I can still do it!" Joan insisted. "If something happens to you before I'm 21, Mom will rule. Then she'll step down and I'll take over."

Now there was a way this made sense. It made Elsa relieved – probably more than anything else the last three days. "Does your mother know that?" Elsa asked. "You can tell me if this was all her idea, you know."

"I can't, cause it wasn't. I thought of it myself" Joan said proudly, not looking like she was lying. She was Anna's daughter, so she had obvious tells when she was lying – and none of them were on her face. So much for relief.

"It's perfect, Aunt Elsa!" Joan still thought. "You tell them you don't need a young heir, cause you've already got one! I'll study real hard to be Queen for nine years, like you did! Then if I gotta be Queen when I'm 21, I'll be ready and they'll know it! And if you live for another 50, 80 years, I'll be _real _ready then!"

Elsa wasn't ready to deal with this, though. After three straight days of making a list for potential suitors, she wasn't ready for anything to make things worse. Let alone _this _much worse.

"Joan….do you understand what studying to be Queen means?" Elsa asked. "Even if I could have played with your mother when I did it, I wouldn't have had time. You've had a real childhood because you _haven't _had to train like that. It'll be _over _if you do this."

"It's okay. I had a good run," Joan figured.

"No, it's _not_ okay!" Elsa snapped a little early, but she was losing the need to care. "You can't _choose _something like that! You can't….sacrifice _so much_ of yourself just for someone else! Even family!"

"_You _did. For Mom," Joan didn't miss a beat. And that almost broke Elsa.

Being reminded of her past was still painful enough, even now. To have Joan do it like this was something else entirely. It was worse now that Elsa realized she was calling Anna Mom, not Mommy – another reminder that her little girl was slipping away.

And now she _wanted _to leave for good, all to save Elsa? That….that couldn't happen.

"That was different," Elsa got out. "I never wanted that for a second. If I knew love would thaw back then, I _never _would have done it. It wasn't really my choice."

"But I'm choosing it now. And_ I'm_ still gonna see you guys," Joan pointed out. "It won't be so bad."

"Yes, it will!" Elsa kept arguing. "You haven't thought this through!"

"Have _you_?" Joan challenged. "I can do this, Aunt Elsa, I really can! You don't have to marry someone you don't love! Not for a baby! You don't need one, you have me! You can tell them and it'll be okay!"

"It _won't_. I'm not putting this on you. I never asked you to, and I never will," Elsa reminded. "Besides, only the top people are going on the list. No one who isn't worthy is going anywhere near me."

"Didn't Hans look worthy too?" Joan really got a low blow in. But she did come prepared. If she was that ready to debate Elsa on this, then….

"Joan, this isn't you!" Elsa snapped herself out of it. "It shouldn't have to be you!"

"And you shouldn't have to do _this_, so we're even," Joan came back again. "I know you don't wanna. But _I _wanna do this. I promise I'll study real hard and do everything teachers tell me! There's a first time for everything, right?" she pleaded. "I swear I'll be even better at it than you!"

"You're _not_ me!" Elsa snapped, rising to her feet. "And you're not my daughter! It's time we _both _stopped kidding ourselves!"

Joan had no answer for that one. Elsa couldn't brag, though, given how she was shaken up herself. But it had to be said – it had to be admitted. Things had gone far enough already because she wouldn't.

"I can't pretend anymore," Elsa told Joan and herself. "I can't use you, Christian, Anna and Kristoff as a surrogate family of my own. I can't use you as an excuse not to find _my own_ family. My own husband and children. And I can't….I can't pretend that not having that, not even _trying _to find it, is _normal_. Not for a Queen. Without that kind of love, I'm probably….incomplete."

"You don't need it!" Joan got her voice back. "You and Mom didn't need it to end winter, remember? That's the whole reason I was born, remember?"

"Your daddy had something to do with it at the end…." Elsa carefully reminded her.

"Not then! You didn't need love from a guy or a prince then! And look what happened! So you don't need it now! Not cause they told you to!" Joan argued.

"I can't believe _Anna's_ daughter told me that," Elsa sighed. "And there's the whole problem again. You're already trying to be me. With all the time we've had together, you probably _are_ half me. Right down to….sacrificing your happiness and your family when you didn't have to. And going _so _far to protect someone that you can't see it."

With new determination, Elsa resolved herself to say, "Well, that's _not _happening again. I'm not letting you put all that on yourself. I'm not my mother or father, you're not me, and that's how it's going to be."

"You're gonna give up just to protect me?" Joan came back. "So….isn't it happening again now anyway? Can't it happen with you being happy this time?"

"I won't be if you're….see, you're not supposed to think like that!" Elsa tried to ignore her and get back on track.

"Why, because I'm ignorant? Like _they _said?" Joan got upset this time. "I'm not, you know! I can do this!"

"Well, too bad!" Elsa lost her patience. "If anything happens to me before I get married, Anna will be Queen. _Then _you'll be next in line. But that's the _only _way that's going to happen!" she laid down the law. "But it's not going to happen. Not after I send invitations to everyone on the list tomorrow. So by this time next year, I'll probably be growing a real heir of my own."

"But Aunt Elsa…." Joan tried to go full on puppy dog.

"That's not working for this. Even if you are Anna's daughter. But you are her heir, _not _mine," Elsa decreed. "You're going to have a care free childhood like you deserve, and you're not going to throw it away for me. End of discussion."

"It shouldn't be," Joan still refused to see reason.

"That's how it is," Elsa assured, figuring she should get out of the study and end this while she was still ahead. But Joan didn't make her that lucky.

"But I love you! Shouldn't _someone _rule by your side who loves you? Without being forced to?" Joan asked. It was one question too many.

"That's not your concern," Elsa just wanted to get away, no matter how she did it. "It will not become your concern. And that is the _last _I will hear about it from you! Are we clear?" When Joan didn't answer, Elsa got impatient enough to add, "_I _am the Queen, and I asked you if we're clear!"

"We're clear…." Joan finally said quietly.

Unlike most times, Elsa didn't let herself see the sadness in her face or voice. Or the slight fear. She just made herself leave the study and shut the door on Joan before she could follow.

Even after all these years, Elsa could still shut the door on people she loved. Of course, after these last 15 years, it got even harder to live with it. That made the rest of the day's meetings even worse, which Elsa had dared to think was impossible.

But she was wrong again, as Joan's voice and pleas were just as annoying as the council's final list recommendations. The more they kept breaking down candidates by riches, status, looks, political viability and breeding stock, the more Joan's final argument wouldn't fade away.

_"Shouldn't someone rule by your side who loves you? Without being forced to?"_ Elsa kept hearing over and over.

Not to mention Elsa's own words, _"Without that kind of love, I'm probably….incomplete."_

Thanks to that memory, Joan's words got even harder to block out. It was so annoying, aggravating and….other sadder things Elsa wished she didn't have to see. With those skills, maybe Joan really was more of Anna's daughter after all.

But unlike with Anna, Elsa _had _to refuse Joan. Nothing else mattered. Nothing….

_"You're gonna give up just to protect me? Can't it happen with you being happy this time?"_

That wasn't….

_"I can't use you as an excuse not to find my own family. My own husband and children. And I can't….I can't pretend that not having that, not even trying to find it, is normal."_

But this was….

_"I am the Queen, and I asked you if we're clear!"_

_"We're clear…."_

But Elsa wasn't. She wasn't clear enough to stop herself from banging her fist on the council table. Or from freezing it halfway.

After a few gasps from the council got her attention, she did focus enough to unfreeze the table. And get herself out of at least one mess.

"I think that's enough for now," Elsa composed herself to say. "I've gone along with helping you make this list. Therefore, I think you can trust me to go over it myself tonight. We'll make it official and write the invitations tomorrow, as planned. Good day until then."

Having finally appeased them for the last few days, the council had no objections. After all, they just saw a sharp reminder on that table of how risky it was.

Yet as much as Elsa made herself look fearsome by accident, she was still all tangled up inside. It would take a few more hours of soul searching, and fleshing out a few other ideas, to really put herself together again.

She certainly wasn't going to see Joan with nothing less than her top game.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elsa missed dinner for the fourth straight night, but for different reasons this time. She didn't need to go over that with Anna, though. Especially when she saw Anna was worried enough.

"Joan wouldn't talk all day. You know I raised her better than that," Anna shared when Elsa caught up with her.

"So that means she didn't tell you why she was upset?" Elsa made sure.

"She hasn't talked much since your whole 'arranged marriage' scheme took off. So I can take a guess," Anna said. "I even caught her in your old library yesterday! You _know _I raised her better than that!" she repeated with more exaggerated horror.

"Yes, I do. Where is she?" Elsa got to the point, to speed this up and avoid Anna's suspicions. If she still didn't know anything, there really was no point in telling her until she and Joan got straightened out. If this really was straightening them out.

No, she'd gone over it thoroughly enough. This was the best bad idea. After learning that Joan was still in her room, and after telling Anna she'd talk to her alone, there was no going back for Elsa now.

Elsa got to Joan's door by herself, then gave her signature knock for her. "Joan? Can I come in?" she asked carefully. All she heard was a moan, which wasn't a yes – but it wasn't a no. It would have to do just this once.

When Elsa got in, she saw Joan lying in her bed, her face buried on top of her pillow. Once she got to the bed, Joan looked up to see Elsa, then put her head back down. Elsa's throat clenched in sadness, but she still had to speak up to get this done.

"They hate me too, you know," Joan spoke into her pillow first.

"I'm sorry?" Elsa asked, not in the way she intended to say those words when she came in. But Joan lifted her head back up to explain anyway.

"They called me and Mom ignorant. They think I'd ruin the kingdom if I was Queen. That's why they need you to have a baby," Joan recalled. "I hated them saying that about Mom! And me too….so I…."

Elsa thought she had a better idea now – better late than never, she supposed. Yet she let Joan continue. "I could be Queen. I could learn to do all that stuff. I told you I could do it. I'd show them and I'd show you….and I could save you too. I just wanted to prove I could be different. And protect you from getting hurt….like you always protect me, Christian, Mom and Dad. Not like _then_, I mean! Like now."

It would probably throw Elsa off track too much if she cried right now. So she limited herself to a few stray tears in her eyes, and to rubbing the back of Joan's head with love.

"Oh, honey….I knew you could all along. That was never the problem. _They _have the problem," Elsa promised her. "I don't have the freedom to completely ignore them. But you do. And you have every right to."

She further explained, "You….you don't have to be different. I love every single part of you just the way it is. Without _any _conditions."

"Then why can't _you _marry someone who'd do that for you?" Joan maintained her sharpness, even now. She really had been preparing for this. But at least this time, she set Elsa up perfectly.

"That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about," Elsa braced herself. "Joan, I'm still doing this. I'm going to find a suitor, and have an heir that isn't you. But it's not just for that reason. It's not _just _because they're forcing me."

"You made it sound that way," Joan reminded her.

"That's fair enough. I'm not the best at sharing reel feelings right away, you know," Elsa reminded her back. However, she made a real effort now.

"Like I said….it's not normal to never look for love until you're 36. Not that kind of love. But I've never been normal," Elsa reflected. "I barely knew how to love Anna the right way. Then I had to learn to get it right with your, your Dad and Christian. It helped distract me from….how I've never tried to get it right with a man. How I never thought I'd have the chance for so long. And...how it scared me to take that chance."

Elsa sighed before continuing, "It's not like I haven't thought about it these last few years. You know I do too much thinking sometimes. If this _ordeal _has done any good for me, it showed me that….I should try to stop thinking once. Because….I do want that."

"To stop thinking? I can help with that too," Joan offered sincerely, which at least gave Elsa some relief.

"Not just that," Elsa said with a brief smile. "I want….someone who isn't family, who isn't a subject, and who isn't a servant, to love me. Someone who could learn to love me the way you guys do. I still don't know if I _can _get that. Or if I'd be good at it. But after all this time, I have to try at least _once_!"

Elsa steeled herself to further admit, "I wasn't ready for it all this time. If I'm ever going to be, it would probably be now. _That's_ why I want to do this. I just hated being forced into it….like I've been forced into doing far worse things before."

"But they did it anyway," Joan noted.

"Yeah. But I can choose where it goes from here," Elsa said with more conviction. "They don't want me to do it for love. They made that even clearer recently. But if I'm gonna give them what they want, _and _find someone I _could _love for real….I can't do it by their standards. I need better help than that."

With that, Elsa was ready to get down to business. Looking Joan in the eye, she revealed, "I need _your_ help. So….I'm willing to make a compromise. On that…._discussion _I put an end to today."

"You are? How?" Joan sat up.

"They want me to find a husband quickly. But now that I'm finally starting, they're in less of a hurry," Elsa explained. "I figure if a man is willing to go through this for a year or so, in spite of my age and my kingdom….he's worth giving a shot. Even if I don't marry him or get pregnant by then….if we're on our way, I can live with that. It's just a matter of finding that right man. But I can't find him alone."

Putting a hand on Joan's shoulder, Elsa offered, "I'd like _you _to help with that. Help me make a real list of suitors you think I could fall for. And who you think can love me like you do. You'll be my….royal love expert, let's call it."

"That's a job?" Joan was stunned.

"It's a made up job about love experts. Let's just say it's your family destiny to take it," Elsa recalled. "But that's not why you're getting this fake job. Only someone who's truly qualified, who truly knows about love and who can handle real responsibility can do it. No one's better at any of that than you are."

"You mean it?" Joan began to soften.

"Absolutely," Elsa brightened up too. "When those men we pick get here, I'll need your help to see just how worthy they are. If you think someone isn't, for any legitimate reason, I won't bother. Even if I find someone I like, I won't go further unless you approve of him."

"What does that have to do with the…._discussion_?" Joan whisper asked.

"If I'm not married, or in a relationship, with any of these men in 12 months….then I will…._reconsider _making you my heir," Elsa conceded. "But I will _only _think about it! And you can't turn all the suitors away just to be Queen! You have to make an honest effort to like them! If you can, I can do the same thing."

"What if I pick wrong?" Joan thought to ask. "What if it's my….family destiny to get it wrong the first time?"

"Then we'll bring the rest of the family in as backup. Eventually," Elsa sidestepped bringing all this up with them – or Anna – for right now. "But the final word is yours. If you think someone can love me and be good for me, even though you'd rather be heir yourself….that's the best recommendation I could get."

"And if there's no one, I get to be heir anyway?" Joan checked again.

"I said we'd reopen the discussion. That's all I'm promising," Elsa stressed. "Still, if you want to get _some _studying done early, just in case….I wouldn't object. _Only _if you make enough time for your family too! Even with this other job."

"I guess I could do that…." Joan thought over.

"But we won't tell anyone else about this. Outside of the family," Elsa remembered to add. "This is a _secret _royal made up job. The council doesn't need to know about it. Or that this will take at least 12 months. Like I said, if any man sticks with this for that long, he has to have _some _good qualities."

"I hope so too," Joan echoed.

"So this sounds good to you? You could help me find a man this way? Give them a _real _chance to prove they're good enough for me? For the entire family?" Elsa asked Joan straight out. "_Before _you try out my throne?"

Joan thought seriously about it, which still unnerved Elsa a little. Finally she asked, "Is that what you want? For real? Please be honest."

In a way, Joan was already starting the job. Feeling somewhat relieved and assured, Elsa answered honestly. "Yes. I want to take a real shot at this. As long as you help me do it right."

"Well…." Joan dragged on, sounding more like herself again. As such, Elsa was already happy and calm again when Joan finished, "Okay. I'll take the job."

"Then you're hired," Elsa smiled. "And I know just how to seal the deal." Which she did with one of Joan's favorite warm hugs.

This one was warm enough to make Elsa add something else too. Which she did when she found Joan's most ticklish spots. "Hey, no fair!" Joan sputtered out.

"Is that what Christian said when you borrowed my moves?" Elsa teased, tickling too fast for Joan to answer. She broke from her aunt's embrace, but she still pinned her down on the bed to finish the job, until they both ran out of breath.

Ultimately, they both laid down next to each other, with Elsa putting a non tickling arm around her niece. "You'll be at least the third greatest love expert on your father's side of the family," Elsa assured.

"I learned from other sides too," Joan promised, looking right at Elsa.

"So did I," Elsa swore. "But just so you know….now that you offered to be Queen just for me….you can't get out of doing any more chores for me. Ever."

"Oh….I didn't think that through," Joan realized. Sighing, she admitted, "I guess since I'm the secret royal love expert, I still have to love you. I can do that."

"I love you too. _So much_," Elsa said with less sarcasm. "End of discussion." She technically ended it by kissing Joan's cheek and letting her cuddle next to her. But neither one felt like getting technical now.

Until Joan said, "I technically still didn't tell Mom I'd be Queen for you."

"Of course you didn't," Elsa stated. But one awkward conversation at a time. It'd be hard enough doing that with strangers for the next year.


	11. Mother And Aunt

_The next morning_

"She wants to be your heir?!"

It was far from the loudest wakeup call Anna ever gave Elsa when she barged into her room. It was probably the least excitable, though. Since Elsa barely had any sleep the last few nights, she easily stirred either way.

"Good morning, by the way," Elsa bought time as she slowly woke up. Anna had way too much energy for her, though – just not her usual peppy kind.

"Don't act all scatterbrained, that's my job! Haven't you already…." Anna stopped herself, which bought Elsa time to at least sit up. But Anna was mainly talking to herself now.

"I mean….it was so amazing of her! She'd really do that much for you…." Anna said lovingly. Yet she got mad again in short order. "But she's not supposed to be Queen! She's got a whole childhood to live! She needs to grow up happy and care free, like we didn't!"

"I already told her that," Elsa let her know.

"Oh," Anna calmed down. This led her to get lovey dovey again, saying, "She was gonna give it up just to help you….help her aunt….my little girl's really growing up." However, her mood then switched again, as she frowned and added, "Why did she have to do it for you?! She's already more like _your _daughter than mine! You can't make it _more_ obvious!"

"I….I already told her that too," Elsa repeated.

"Oh," Anna calmed down. "She didn't tell me that either. Of course she tells you more than me, even now." Yet she started swooning again when she added, "But you're her aunt. You're the best aunt in the world to her, and that's why she loves you that much. If anyone should have that kind of love, it's you. Especially _now_."

On cue, Anna got more bitter and reflected, "You're sure good at giving her that love too. Turns out you _can _give it to kids after they turn five after all. At least I have that rubbed in my face every day."

"Okay, I didn't tell her _that_," Elsa broke the pattern.

"You didn't have to," Anna broke it herself by getting sadder. "I mean….she already has a much better childhood than both of us did. It's not hard to see why. I mean, she _reads_! She hasn't talked to a painting since she was eight! She knows so much about love, she was gonna be Queen just for you! That….that doesn't sound like someone raised by _me_."

"You think it sounds like someone raised by _me_?" Elsa raised her eyebrows. "Come on, we're_ both_ flying blind here."

"But she sees better with you," Anna thought. "You give her everything I waited 13 years to get from you. And _that's _how she wanted to repay you. I mean, I would have done the same if I were her….I mean, she's who I _would _have been if you….and now she's far enough ahead of me _without _being your heir! Once she is…..I mean?"

"I don't want her to be my heir. She told you that much, right?" Elsa checked.

"Good! You should have your own daughter and let me keep mine!" Anna went back to snapping mode.

"That's not quite what I told Joan too….but it was close," Elsa tried to keep calm.

"Oh," Anna went back to calm again. "Then why are we fighting?"

"I don't know. You're doing most of the talking for both of us," Elsa reminded. "If Joan knows how to do that, it didn't come from me."

"It sure didn't, did it?" Anna got fond this time. Then it was back to being sad, "Oh geez, I'm sorry….I'm not making any sense. If Joan knows how to do that, it didn't come from me."

"Maybe Kristoff gave her some of his sense," Elsa guessed.

"She didn't know how to talk to Sven until she was six. His gifts take a while to pass on," Anna said. After sharing a laugh and some semi-uncomfortable silence, Elsa took the lead again.

"Joan loves you to death, Anna. She'd do for you what she wants to do for me in a heartbeat. No matter how close we are," Elsa assured.

"Logically, I know that," Anna responded. "But you know me and logic." Elsa had to nod and give her that one. "Joan took to it a lot faster than I did. I know that's because of you. She's a lot of things because of you. That's why she looks up to you so much….maybe even more than me."

"That's _not _true," Elsa assured Anna, if not herself. "Besides, the only reason I know those _things_ is because of you," she found a better angle.

"How to love, how to care for a child, how to be a real family….I didn't know how any of that worked for a long time. Not until you thawed," Elsa shared. "If I passed any of that on to Joan, it's only because you did it for me first. So really, we're only that close because of you."

"Well….I did get you guys together in the first place. Kind of my fault," Anna admitted. "And Kristoff had a hand in it too. Well, more like – "

"It is _far _too early for you to finish that sentence," Elsa stopped her right there. Anna blushed and made herself stop that thought, while Elsa barely held back a little smirk too.

"I love you guys together, you know that," Anna got back on topic. "Her loving you _that _much….it just caught me off guard, that's all."

"How did you think I felt?" Elsa answered.

"It's far too early for me to think that much," Anna echoed. "But now I think the whole….go find your own daughter thing was too far."

"Maybe it wasn't," Elsa conceded. "I told her it was time I had my own family. Instead of….living through yours." It wasn't her exact words back then, but she still had the morning as an excuse not to remember clearly.

"We _are_ your family," Anna frowned out of love this time. "And if you wanted 'your own' so much, why didn't you look before? If you didn't want an heir of your own, and if you won't let Joan or Christian be Queen or King….what did you think would happen to Arendelle if you…."

Elsa huffed, since Anna actually got her there. "I guess I assumed….I'd die early enough for you to rule for a few decades. _Then_ Joan or Christian or their kids would take over."

"Your grand plan for Arendelle was to leave it to _me_?" Anna exclaimed with disbelief. "Did you really think that through? Heck, you're not gonna die _that _early anyway!"

"Anna, it's still a wonder to me that I've made it _this _long," Elsa shared, which brought down the room. "Everything I have is still a wonder to me, even now. Love, family, acceptance, being a good Queen….I didn't exactly believe I'd have any of that while growing up."

"But you have it all now," Anna tried to get positive.

"I have _almost _everything I never dared to hope for. Except…." Elsa trailed off.

Getting on the same page with Elsa right away for once, Anna asked again, "Then why didn't you look for it?"

"It's like I said, Anna. I knew nothing about love of _any_ kind. Not until you thawed," Elsa recalled. "That's not the 'getting married and having a husband' kind of true love. But it's the only love I ever knew. Then you showed me the true love of a whole family when Joan and Christian got here."

"You had that before. Back when you were eight….right?" Anna was almost afraid to ask.

"Of course I did. Love from my sister and from a family….that's the only true love I needed then, and now. But love from a man, in that way….a man that loves me in that way for who I am, not _what _I am….I've never known how that works. Not then, not now, not ever," Elsa recounted.

"Well, I'd like to think me and Kristoff taught you _something_. Not the heavy duty stuff. But it's at least a beginner's course," Anna shared, if not too much.

"Yes, I know what it looks like. I got to see it from Mom and Dad before I was locked up too. But I've only _seen _it," Elsa said. "_Feeling _it….for someone who tried not to feel most of her life, that's….tougher than it sounds. And since I already felt all the love I needed and wanted from you guys….it seemed like that was enough. It still is, really."

Now it was Elsa's turn to have a mood swing of depression. But she was more used to handling it than Anna, even now.

"I don't need a man or my own child to be happy. Not with everything you've given me. And I _should _be offended at the idea that I'm….incomplete without them! You know I'm not!" Elsa scowled. "But I'd be lying if I said a part of me didn't really want….especially _now_…."

Sinking deeper into an ugly train of thought, Elsa wondered, "Maybe that's why I've clung too hard to you guys. Since you have what I….never believed I could have. Maybe _that's_ why I made Joan more like me. Right down to making sacrifices she shouldn't make."

"Elsa, there's no one better for Joan to be like than you. It's stupid to be jealous of that," Anna admitted. "But that's why she'll be such a good love expert for you!"

Just before Elsa could confirm or deny it, the sisters heard a knock on the door. There was only one person other than them who knocked like that – but although she was at Elsa's bedroom door, this was her special knock for Anna. "Mom? Are you in there?" they heard Joan say.

Anna looked appropriately surprised, but got herself to the door anyway. Once she opened it, Joan sighed in relief and came in, yet stopped when she saw Elsa.

"Aunt Elsa! Uh, what are you doing here? In your bedroom…." Joan realized. "I mean, of course you'd be here! I mean, why would Mom be here if you weren't here too? Other than that one time…."

Elsa chuckled in relief at Joan's Anna-like rambling – and was willing to let that 'one time' comment go for now. Anna looked impressed too, but snapped out of it to ask, "Well, I am here. Why were you looking for me?"

Joan looked at her, then her aunt, and answered, "I don't know if I wanna say in front of Aunt Elsa…."

"Then you shouldn't have said that in front of me. I'm the last person who wants to keep secrets from her. Other than that one time…." Anna informed. Brushing it aside quickly on purpose, she went on, "Anyway, you might as well tell us both now."

Joan hesitated a while longer, then finally admitted, "I don't know if I can be Aunt Elsa's love expert…."

"What? Why not?" Elsa exclaimed, but made herself hold back. If she was afraid to tell her and would rather tell Anna, this probably wasn't helping. And it spoke to a lot of things she and Anna talked about just now.

"I wanna be, I do! I'm not saying no because I wanna be Queen!" Joan promised. "It's cause….I don't know _that _much about love. Not enough to choose Aunt Elsa's husband. What if I get it wrong?"

"Joan, that's not gonna happen," Anna got into it. "You're too smart and you love your aunt too much. You wouldn't do that to her."

"I could. By myself, anyway," Joan still thought. "That's….why I wanted to talk to you."

"To me?" Anna was more surprised than she wished she was.

"Uh huh," Joan confirmed. "You love Aunt Elsa so much, you saved her from Hans before you froze! You helped her thaw out Arendelle! You got her out of her room, and that's why she's the best aunt ever! You picked the best Dad ever for me and you gave me a brother who's….getting better! You're a way better love expert than me."

"That's what you think of me?" Anna began to tear up.

"Yeah," Joan honestly said. "Aunt Elsa needs the best love expert. That's not me. So….could you help me get good enough? Please, Mom?"

Instead of answering with words, Anna bent down and answered with hugs. Even this early in the morning, they still packed a wallop from her. "I love you so much, Joanie…." Anna said through her emotions.

"I know, I love you too. That's why I need your help," Joan said through the tight hug. When she could move her head and see Elsa again, Joan stammered and added, "If that's okay with Aunt Elsa."

Before Elsa could wipe her eyes and answer, Anna set Joan free. "You know what? There's a few more things I'd like Aunt Elsa to be okay with."

"In what way?" Elsa got a little nervous again.

"It doesn't matter who's closest to who. We're a _whole_ family. If that's the only love you know, then who better to help you learn the other kind?" Anna pointed out. "I mean, whoever this guy is, he's not just marrying _you_! He's marrying all of us too!"

"That's….some way to put it," Elsa said with a curious deadpan.

"It's the truth! Joan's right, you don't need just one love expert," Anna declared. "I think _four _should do the job just fine."

Once Elsa did the math, she gasped, not knowing what the right way to feel was. "Anna, you don't have to burden yourself. Or them," she said instinctively.

"Joan can still be the head love expert. She can just use me, her dad and her brother as her love committee," Anna came up with. "We'll report to her, she'll report to you, and then we all report back to your suitors together."

"Ooh, that sounds fun!" Joan approved. "Can we, Aunt Elsa? Can we, can we, can we?" she started squealing in excitement in no time – a trait that certainly ran on her mother's side.

"This is technically supposed to be _my _decision," Elsa reminded them. "But….after I hired Joan, I guess I opened too big of a loophole."

"Yeah, loophole!" Joan cheered.

"I admitted I can't do this without you," Elsa told her. "If you can't do it without your mom….I have no right to say no."

"Yeah! I'll go get Dad and Christian! I'll make sure they have no right to say no too!" Joan promised.

"If you're anything like me, they'll have no chance," Anna assured.

"I hope so! Thanks, Mom!" Joan said, going over to hug her before heading out of the room.

"Well….that was a waste of good jealousy," Anna admitted through more half-shed tears.

"She really did learn from the best," Elsa praised. "And if….I ever have an heir of my own…..I'll probably need to…."

"Elsa, I've dreamed of finding you a guy for 15 years. Let's _finally_ get that out of the way. _Then_ we'll go to the mom lessons dream," Anna hoped. "I know my boss left the room, but I hope I wasn't out of line."

"You never are. Eventually," Elsa smiled.

"Good," Anna smiled. "What if I said….you've given my family – _our _family – more than I ever hoped for? No matter who likes who more? And now it's time we _all_ did that for you. Was that too much?"

"Not quite," Elsa said through her own watery eyes.

"Okay, I'll do better later," Anna vowed, putting on her game face. "Right now, where's that suitors list of yours? I hope I never have to say this again….but we've got work to do."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The royal council was promised a final draft of the Queen's suitor list today. They had waited hours to see it, which seemed foolish since they settled much of the list yesterday.

Yet before sunset, the Queen finally entered chambers with a piece of paper in her hand– and was followed by four other things the council didn't expect to see.

"These are the people I will consider as my future King," Elsa informed, as the list was passed down. As more and more council members looked surprised, shocked and miffed at what they read, the Queen continued, "I know I added and subtracted a few names. It wasn't without an _exhaustive_ debate, trust me."

Anna, Kristoff, Joan and even Christian almost shuddered, but they still stood tall as Elsa continued. "But if I'm going to do what _you've _asked me to, I'm doing it the best way possible. This list _is_ the best list possible. So is my committee of love experts."

The rest of the royal family could only wave as the council murmured. Yet Elsa laid down the law and said, "From this moment on, all matters related to my…..marital status will go through them. I will hear nothing more about it from these chambers. If Arendelle's long term future is all you care about, you'll trust me and my family to secure it. Are we clear?"

The council didn't look that clear, so Elsa repeated, "_Are _we clear?" with more icy force. It wasn't as loud as the force she used days ago, when the council wore her down. But it was enough to show them that they wouldn't be as lucky this time.

"Good. Now then, me and my committee will send our invitations to these men tonight," Elsa informed, without giving anyone else a say. "Before then, I'd like to get actual royal business out of the way. If this council actually has any for me."

It took them a second to snap out of it, but the council scrambled to do what she said. By then, the mother of the head of the committee had shooed her colleagues out - leaving the aunt of the committee chairwoman to her royal duty.


	12. The Committee

**Thanks to the now 200+ followers of this story. Now back to the fluff after all the angst of the last few chapters and Royal Reunion.**

_Three months later_

The committee of love experts was finally almost ready for their biggest meeting to date. Christian held them up when Olaf got too distracted by a butterfly to look for him in hide and seek. But an hour delay wouldn't be so bad, if Joan could get things in order.

"Order! Order in the committee!" Joan said, banging the gavel Elsa just _had _to give her. Still, Anna, Kristoff and Christian had no choice but to come to the table.

"Good job as always, Joan," Anna said, getting a head start on sucking up.

"No, the _greatest _job, Joan," Kristoff topped. She was gonna have to do better than that to get her picks on the final cut.

"Thanks, Dad," Joan approved. "Okay…..we all know what we gotta do. Aunt Elsa spent a week with all 10 guys who wanna be King. We spent that week with them too. Now we gotta choose the five best guys for the next round."

"But Elsa gets the final say, of course," Anna reminded her. "This is just our recommendation. Even if a guy doesn't make our cut, for some reason, Elsa can still keep him alive. Then there's nothing anyone can do about it."

"If you're counting on Elsa to save your beloved Prince Goran, he's already lost," Kristoff bragged.

"Oh, like she's gonna bail your best buddy Sven out?" Anna challenged. "Just because he has our Sven's name, doesn't mean he's half the reindeer Sven is!"

"By that logic, just because Goran's country is the second largest chocolate supplier in the world, it isn't a sign of true love," Kristoff replied.

"Okay, let's keep the crazy talk to a minimum, or we'll never get through this meeting!" Anna quickly declared.

"Is Prince Jorgen gonna make it?" Christian asked. "He's just gotta! His brother was so nice when I was at the Western Isles, and he likes his brother!"

"He's an _Isles_ prince. Let's keep him just above the bubble for now," Anna said wearily. "Maybe this'll go faster if we get the no brainers out of the way first."

"Didn't we agree that the no brainers are the most suspicious? Like other Isles princes?" Kristoff pointed out. "Sounds like a point against Goran off the bat."

"By that logic, minus one point for Sven," Anna shot back.

"Okay, if we're just gonna use our words against each other, we'll never get done!" Kristoff pouted.

"Mom, Dad, order!" Joan ordered, using the gavel to quiet them down too. When it worked, she said, "How about we vote Prince Caspar out first? We can all agree on that."

"Good – uh, _greatest _idea, Joan!" Anna agreed. "All he did was stay in the library with her, ugh!"

"Doesn't Aunt Elsa like the library?" Christian wondered.

"For reasons only the Gods will understand, yeah," Anna sighed. "But even Elsa doesn't stay there all the time anymore! Can you imagine Caspar enjoying himself at the ice palace? Or ice skating?"

"I can't ice skate either," Christian noted. This made him gasp, "Does that mean Aunt Elsa can't like me?"

"Well…." Joan couldn't resist getting into teasing sister mode.

"Joan, I have to overrule you here," Anna jumped in. "Of course Aunt Elsa loves you anyway," he assured Christian.

"Then can't she like him anyway?" Christian wondered. "Isn't this about what she likes? Not what we like?"

"Of course it is! It's just, um…." Joan scrambled to not be upstaged by her brother – or possibly be replaced as committee chairwoman. "Aunt Elsa needs a husband who can have fun too! Just like she does sometimes! Ha, gotcha!"

"But we're not picking a husband yet. Just the top five guys she'd like," Christian reminded them. "If they like boring stuff together, she's gotta like him too."

"Well, technically, but…." Joan thought hard again. When she had nothing, she objected, "Come on, can't you get your own gavel? You don't need to take mine!"

"No, Joan. For one thing, Elsa's very strict on lending gavels. Trust me," Anna sighed. "But Christian has a point on the other thing. This isn't about who _we _like best. It's about who Elsa likes best, and she seemed to like Caspar." After a pause, she added, "But not more than Goran! You gotta give me that!"

"Darn it, you gave me no choice," Kristoff conceded. "And Sven wasn't the biggest fan of Sven Jr either. I just thought they'd bond over time if he made the top five."

"He still could. Let's put him below the bubble for now," Anna compromised.

"Below the bubble, order up!" Joan agreed, smashing the gavel and getting back in control. "Okay, next order of business. Are we _sure _none of them have powers yet?"

"I'm telling you, five more seconds with Hokar, and he would have shot out fire, I swear!" Anna insisted again.

"He was so mad at you for breaking his ice figurines, his face turned red. There's a difference between that and having fire powers," Kristoff reminded her again.

"See, if Elsa waited to yell at him for five more seconds, I'd know that for sure!" Anna argued back. "But now we won't. Frankly, the possibility was the only thing keeping him in this."

"Anna, if Elsa found someone with powers just like her, great. But they're not in this bunch," Kristoff settled. "Besides, wouldn't that be taking the easy way out anyway? Doesn't it mean more if someone without powers, without that way too easy way in, can accept and love her anyway? Like we do?"

"Approved!" Joan agreed, banging the gavel.

"A good chairwoman waits to hear all arguments before ruling," Anna bought time.

"And yours is?" Kristoff asked after several seconds.

"Fine, do the gavel," Anna grumbled when she had nothing, and Joan happily obliged.

"So Caspar and Goran are in, Hokar's out, Jorgen's probably in, and Sven's probably out," Joan recapped. "What about the next five?"

"Don't let Karl in! Aunt Elsa looked so bored when they had dinner!" Christian argued.

"Well, she makes herself look bored at dinners and royal stuff for a living," Kristoff reminded him.

"No, she was using the _really _bored look. Right around the fifth time he talked about his country's furnaces. Or his 12'th Fire and Ice pun," Anna agreed. "If it's too obvious for her to get someone with powers, _that's _gotta be obvious infinity. I don't think Elsa looked ready to settle for that."

"Agreed!" Joan approved, but stopped herself halfway through from banging the gavel, remembering to wait for Kristoff's opinion. "Dad?"

"I didn't feel him. But he was still better than Sarin," Kristoff damned with faint praise. "Kicking Olaf's head off _three _times when he jumped out and said hi, I can get. I did it twice before I could hold back. Four is just bad news, and I could tell Elsa felt the same."

"Yeah, and then that time he missed and hit his flurry? By 'accident'?" Anna remembered. "Yep, he's gone."

"Then we can put Aaron in, right?" Christian requested. "He loved the ice palace! He oohed and ahhed more than me at Aunt Elsa's snow fireworks show too!"

"So we're choosing her husband based on oohs and ahhs?" Kristoff questioned. "If him, me and Elsa didn't have that all night debate on ice patterns, I'd probably poke holes in that."

"Okay, then Aaron's hole free!" Anna figured. "That leaves us with Lanford and Devin."

"Lanford was the first guy Aunt Elsa danced with," Joan swooned. "She sure liked that. When she got the hang of it, anyway."

"Right, but she really had it down pat with Devin," Kristoff remembered.

"But Lanford hung in there in that snowball fight," Joan counted.

"Then Devin knew when to let her win theirs," Kristoff answered.

"Lanford took off his gloves before he kissed Aunt Elsa's hand. That's solid dairy," Joan nearly got solidarity right.

"Devin got her on the cheek before he left home yesterday," Kristoff figured he won.

"Only because Lanford got it red and warm enough for him!" Joan argued.

"Oh, she was that red from her third hot chocolate cup that day, and you know it!" Kristoff scoffed.

"She only gets that warm after four cups, so there!" Joan shot back.

"All right, fine! Christian!" Kristoff turned to. "Tiebreaker vote, buddy. Do you agree with your cool, fun loving dad, or your annoying, bossy sister?"

"Hey!" Anna voiced. "Why can't I be the tiebreaker?"

"Um….yeah, what she said!" Christian dodged the pressure. "Let _her_ vote for Devin! Oops…."

"Well, I vote for Lanford, so thanks a lot! Annoying, bossy power!" Anna showed solidarity with Joan.

"It's a 2-2 tie. And the chairwoman breaks the tie," Joan recalled, as Kristoff groaned over falling into the trap.

"So that's it, then. Caspar, Goran, Aaron, Jorgen and Lanford. That's our final five?" Kristoff worked out.

"I'm good on four of those. Four and a half, maybe," Anna settled on. "Christian, how about you?"

"Three or four," Christian finally answered. "But you guys know more about counting than me."

"Joan? You heard all the arguments," Anna said. "The councilwoman has the final say. Do we take this list to your Aunt Elsa?"

Joan was so eager to use the gavel, find the right guy for Aunt Elsa and boss around her parents for once – and her brother more than usual. Yet now that the serious part of the job was here, she hesitated to embrace it.

The whole idea of making recommendations that her aunt would use to find a husband – the father of her future cousins [and the King of Arendelle, she supposed] – didn't really weigh on her until now. She didn't even play with the gavel while she was thinking it over. That's how the committee knew this was serious.

"Aunt Elsa liked Devin," Joan admitted. "She doesn't need to like him more than Lanford yet. The guys she likes should all be there. I think she liked Sven just enough too."

"Yeah, I knew it!" Kristoff gloated. "Besides, it's always the least likable guys at first who win Queens! Or princesses sometimes!"

"You sure got me there," Anna admitted with some fondness. "But you thought Sven was the most likable guy. That means he'll turn out to be the bad guy, right?"

"So I can go ahead and put Goran under arrest, then," Kristoff retorted, which made Anna huff.

"You heard the chairwoman, we're not choosing favorites yet! Put them in the top….seven and we'll see who the big secret villain is," Anna dared.

"You're on, princess," Kristoff agreed, just as he and Anna looked super weird and googly eyed to their children.

"So it's okay that there's….more than five names?" Christian sidestepped doing the math.

"Aunt Elsa's never had more than one guy who really liked her," Joan remembered. "Seven's a better place to start than five."

"We'll just eliminate more people in the next round. Only the toughest are gonna survive that anyway," Anna reasoned. "As soon as we figure out what the next round is, they'll be in for it then!"

"Good. Then Goran, Jorgen, Aaron, Lanford, Devin, Caspar and Seven are still at the mercy of our laziness," Kristoff listed.

"Yeah, they are! Approved!" Joan banged her gavel anew. "Now we just gotta get Aunt Elsa to approve."

"Perfect. But until then, that's our last official business in here, right?" Anna made sure.

"Uh huh. Meeting done!" Joan announced. However, Anna got up so quickly that Joan forgot to use the gavel.

"Great! Now we can enjoy the rest of the day, no more work! Knock on wood. Whatever that means. But I like knocking, so I'll say weird words about it anytime," Anna said weirdly. Still, when she got to the room's door and performed her traditional knock, it seemed like a more normal Anna kind of weird.

Joan saw nothing suspicious about it, as she got up and headed to the door with the rest of the family. Anna didn't open it right away, however. "Should be long enough," Joan thought she heard her mother mumble, before she opened up.

However, the next word she and everyone else said – including the people on the other side of the door – was a lot louder.

"SURPRISE!"

Before Joan knew it, Elsa, Olaf, Kai, Gerda and many others came in, rolling what looked like a birthday cake into the room too.

One of those many others even looked like…. "Devin?" Joan questioned as the young prince of Strasburg seemed to be coming in. "But you were free to go yesterday!"

"Once I learned today was your 13'th birthday, I figured I could let the sea wait one more day for me," Devin answered.

"I knew you were smart!" Christian cheered.

"But how long were you out there?" Joan questioned. "You didn't….hear things? About you? Did you?"

"After all the time Olaf spent hugging and popping your balloons this morning, it's a wonder we can still hear anything," Elsa informed. "But don't worry. We didn't listen in on committee business. And no matter how your decision went, Devin still wanted to be here."

"You're still doing work for your aunt on your birthday. Big work, from what I hear. Or didn't hear out there," Devin recounted. "Your family knew you should have a big party when you were done, chairwoman. There's no way I wouldn't want to see how that worked."

"The other committee members didn't know you'd be here, though," Kristoff clarified. "That didn't influence our decision. As much as it would have made certain arguments pointless."

"Don't look at me, the birthday girl did the arguing!" Anna accidentally threw her daughter under the bus on her birthday.

"Not anymore!" Joan corrected. "You're in! You were in then, now you're super in!"

"Super!" Devin said with relief, smiling at Joan and then at Elsa.

"That's it, he's either super duper good or super duper evil. Calling it right now," Anna whispered to Kristoff.

"You'll say the same thing about whoever goes to Christian's birthday party. Calling that right now," Kristoff whispered back.

"Then no way Goran's coming. Or Jorgen, I guess. Ooh, I can watch Sven with the eyes of one of Elsa's ice hawks!" Anna got giddy.

"Let's put aside business and ice hawks till our daughter finally has her birthday, okay?" Kristoff asked.

"Wow, if _you_ wanna put aside ice hawks….then it's approved," Anna smiled, reaching for Joan's gavel along the way – until Joan grabbed it and made her mother pout.

"It wouldn't be bad to influence her birthday wish, right?" Anna checked. "I was gonna hope she wished Elsa had someone with her at next year's birthday. But if no one's super shocking secret evil after all, it'll take care of itself. Right?"

"After we take care of cutting the chairwoman's birthday cake, probably," Kristoff figured.

"Right, right. We're technically not working for her _now_, but it's her birthday, so…." Anna finally took herself off the clock.

"Birthday hugs!" she said very unprofessionally to her birthday boss. The committee of love experts could now put aside their serious business, as Joan finally let herself do it too.

Yet everyone on the committee – including the Queen they would report to tomorrow morning, after all the cake, balloon games and loud noises faded into memory – dared to think as eventful as Joan's 13'th birthday was, her 14'th might be even better. Especially with more family guests.


	13. Birthday Boy

_Christian's sixth birthday_

After a predictably chaotic birthday party, with the likes of present mixups, birthday cake juggling and reindeer ice racing, Elsa knew she needed a few moments to herself. She knew Christian probably wanted them too, so they decided to be by themselves together.

As the cleanup raged on in the castle, Elsa and Christian walked through the garden outside, enjoying the quiet and the company. However, there was more company than they expected, although it wasn't as quiet – yet it hardly announced itself on an Olaf, Sven III or Anna level.

"Did you have your fill of snow flavored cake too?" Prince Jorgen of the Western Isles asked as he came into view.

"No! That was the best part!" Christian actually lit up.

"Well, that gives me a high bar to go over. But I'm going to try," Jorgen declared, taking out a little box from his pocket. "I hid this away before everyone's gifts got mixed up. I kept this safe for you personally. Yorick helped me pick it out, so I knew I wouldn't hear the end of it if I lost it."

"He did?" Christian asked, remembering the first person to befriend him outside of Arendelle, three years ago. Yorick's brother then handed over his gift, and Christian carefully unwrapped it to reveal a snow globe. But not just any snow globe.

"We both remember how much you liked the snow globes at the Western Isles. So we had a special one made up for you," Jorgen explained, as Christian admired the floating, tiny figurine of himself floating around the figurine of Castle Arendelle, along with fake snowflakes.

"I'm flying!" Christian admired as he shook around the globe and watched his mini self fly around. "And it's in a globe, so I'm fine!"

"Yes, you are," Elsa let some admiration into her voice. "What do you say to the prince?"

"Thank you, Prince! Thank Yorick too!" Christian smiled. "Aunt Elsa, can I go play with snow globe me?"

"Of course. Just don't go far and wind up on the reindeer ice track," Elsa nearly rolled her eyes, mostly at herself for being talked into making that.

"I won't!" Christian promised, then ran off to play around with his new toy – leaving Elsa alone with her potential suitor.

"You and your family have a long memory," Elsa told Jorgen, encouraged that she didn't let the awkward silence last too long.

"When you meet another prince and a Queen for the first time, you tend to remember things," Jorgen assured.

"Christian's not a prince. Well, he is, but not in the official way," Elsa stumbled, taking back her earlier praise of herself. "He is, but he won't have to be a….._prince _prince if his mother and father don't succeed me."

Rambling and stumbling over words – if Anna was here, she'd say that was a sign Elsa really liked this guy. Or since Anna stumbled at first with Hans, she'd say that was a sign Jorgen wasn't to be trusted either. If his association with an Isles didn't already make Anna distrust him.

Between Anna's theories, and those of every old and post-modern romance book in the castle, Elsa didn't know what cliché and theory applied here. Or with the other suitors.

Anna did say she was supposed to feel right away when she found her true love, not get it from reading about romantic story formulas. But since Elsa was a stranger to romantic feelings – and since Anna didn't exactly feel that way for Kristoff right away – she had Anna there.

Still, would Jorgen be more likely to be Elsa's true love if she hated him right away – which she didn't? Would it be likely if she merely tolerated him right now? Or just liked him right now – which seemed more likely after that gift? She didn't fall for him, or the other suitors, right away – so the Hans theory didn't quite apply here.

Or maybe it meant if she didn't feel…._something _like love for any of them soon…..it might not happen. Then this whole thing was nothing but a process for an arranged marriage after all. Then Joan, Anna and the committee's efforts really were for nothing. Nothing lasting or….magical, anyway.

Elsa didn't realize she rolled her eyes at that thought until Jorgen finally spoke up. "Penny for your eye rolls?"

"Oh! Oh, sorry," Elsa got out of her own head. "How long was I out?"

"I lost count after 30 seconds. Math wasn't my strongest class, though," Jorgen hopefully joked.

"I didn't mean to ignore you," Elsa assured. "I just get lost in my head sometimes. It's a very old habit."

Jorgen didn't inquire further – but Elsa went back in her head and made herself realize something. If she was ever going to feel more than like for these men, she needed to test them out by….sharing.

It was a privilege she still only really shared with her family, talking snowmen, children during royal treks through town, and reindeer when Kristoff couldn't settle disputes between Sven's family himself.

But if any of these men were going to be family too….and if Elsa was ever going to love it instead of just liking it….

"It's safer in my mind sometimes," Elsa shared. "Thinking is much better than….acting. At least it was for 13 years." Laughing to herself, she admitted, "It's funny that I think my mind is _safe_ now. After it did nothing but torture me for over a decade."

"For 13 years. That ended _15 _years ago, didn't it?" Jorgen said simply. And it did sound simple enough. So much that Elsa never really thought of it that way.

"_15 _years….after just _13 _years," Elsa repeated. "I've really spent more time feeling happy and….fulfilled than being alone and miserable. How did _that _happen?" she still couldn't believe. Another old habit that never died completely.

"If it didn't, none of us would be here now. Especially him," Jorgen noted, pointing at Christian shaking his snow globe at a distance.

Elsa could be quite impenetrable when she was in a thinking or less than fulfilled mood. The only ones who could break through it so quickly were Anna, Joan, Christian and Olaf. Even Kristoff on a good day.

Yet the way Jorgen put things in perspective, so quickly and without much effort, was almost….Joan esq. If not quite Anna esqe yet.

Maybe that was as much of a building block of love as any. Of course, modern day romantic stories told Elsa it would make it more shocking when he became evil. So maybe looking more likable right now bode poorly for him.

"You can tell Yorick that Christian loved the gift. Whenever you see him again," Elsa changed the subject.

"Hopefully that won't be anytime soon," Jorgen surprised them both by saying.

"What does that mean?" Elsa got suspicious.

"Nothing! It's just that….the snow globe wasn't my idea _at first_," Jorgen confessed. "Yorick wore me down, and now he'll never let me hear the end of it. He can be such a….know it all goody goody, and this'll give him more license to steamroll me. It makes him a good brother and gift giver _technically_, but it's….often annoying in the other moments sometimes. You know?"

Anna was living proof that Elsa knew. However, as much as Anna was more of a know it all goody goody than Yorick – which Elsa would know even if she never met Yorick – she was never that annoyed by it. Not for 15 years, anyway.

Nearly killing her twice, and never having to lock the door on her anymore, usually softened Elsa just in time before she got that fed up with Anna. Maybe Jorgen was more impatient because Yorick never got frozen. Maybe.

But if that was a negative thing about Jorgen, then he wasn't overly perfect – and perhaps wasn't a surprise villain after all. However, he did still call Yorick a good brother, so it wasn't bad enough to make him an obvious villain either. He might be somewhere in between.

Perhaps that happy medium of not being overly perfect, or way too obviously bad, was the right one. Besides, Elsa was far from perfect, and wasn't as obviously bad as she thought she was for 13 years. And they both seemed to love Christian – so that made two promising things in common.

"Should I offer two pennies for this thought now? I can go as high as three, but I left my money on the boat," Jorgen broke up Elsa's runaway train of inner thought again.

"No need. I do need a new partner to walk in the garden with me, though. My first choice got distracted, thanks to a certain someone," Elsa shifted gears again.

"Then this certain someone will need to pay his debts. I can work off five pennies on the walk, but I insist on using real money after that," Jorgen proposed.

"We can negotiate after we walk, then," Elsa compromised, to which Jorgen agreed by following her once she started walking.

In the surprise of all surprises on this day, their walk actually took place without a sound. It was companionable silence – not the oppressive silence Elsa was used to half a lifetime ago, by herself.

Romance novels and satires didn't usually count that as a plus. Or set it up for a big minus to come. But Elsa trusted herself to take this as a good sign anyway.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Elsa and Jorgen quietly met up with Christian again, Jorgen took his leave, wished Christian a happy rest of his birthday, and bowed to Elsa while holding her hand. Christian smiled, but kept to himself as he and Elsa prepared to brave it out in the castle again.

However, before they could get back into the ballroom, they were met by the other big birthday guest of the day. Christian's early favorite got to be here – so Anna and Joan thought it fair to invite their early favorite too.

"I'd still give it another few moments," Prince Goran warned. "The trolls claim to be fixer uppers, but it took a lot of them to help fix this much."

"Ah. Thank you for that update," Elsa thanked.

"Fortunately, I salvaged my own birthday gift in the carnage," Goran revealed. "I could tell right away I wouldn't be able to hand it over. Not before the…..madness started. So I kept it safe until I could get a moment's peace with the birthday boy."

The birthday boy looked entranced as Goran unveiled a thin, wide box from behind his back. Christian and his family saw enough boxes like that to know what was in them. Considering who was giving this away, it made it easier.

"What kind of chocolates did you get for me?" Christian asked eagerly, putting his snow globe down.

"Only the best from my country. Only the best worthy of this one, too," Goran impressed him, and Elsa too. Of course, Elsa was more equipped to see this coming - and was slightly more skeptical of this prince from a kingdom of chocolate experts than Anna and Joan.

But only _slightly_. Especially when Christian opened the box of drool worthy, chocolaty confections.

"Remember to share with your Aunt Elsa, if you can," Goran reminded him, winning a few more brownie points. And not just for the chocolate brownie at the center of the box.

"What do you say, Christian? I'll say it with you to help you out," Elsa offered.

"Thank you, Prince Goran," Elsa and Christian said together. Goran nodded back, as the two royal family members looked over the box of goodies. As much as a nice, quiet walk helped after chaos, this would really make Elsa ready to go back in the madhouse.

"What's this?" Christian interrupted Elsa's blissful stay in her own head. Picking up a piece of chocolate on the bottom right of the box, he felt it and asked, "Is this hard chocolate?"

"I believe so, why?" Goran didn't realize what he was saying.

"You put a _hard _chocolate bar in there?" Elsa began to frown.

"Yes, why?" Goran repeated.

"Chocolate's not supposed to be hard! You gotta drink it and chew it and savor it!" Christian insisted. "You lose your teeth biting hard chocolate! Right, Aunt Elsa?"

"Yes. It's been the number one cause of lost teeth in my family for generations," Elsa backed up. "Yet we all got into it at one point or another growing up, and our mouths all paid the price. Sometimes even after we grew up," she shared, blocking out when she fell off the hard chocolate wagon, and actually had to see a dentist afterwards.

Blocking out memories of that evil profession, Elsa continued, "In any case, we're not a hard chocolate family. It's not by choice, but it's true. I would think someone searching for a birthday gift….among other things….would take the time to learn that."

"You never gave the impression you hated _any _kind of chocolate. None of you did!" Goran defended himself. "Besides, it's just one piece! Just throw it away!"

"Throw it away? Like it's that easy?" Christian asked incredulously, and Elsa looked the same way.

"No _true _chocolate lover would think it's that easy," Elsa suspected. "A businessman would. Someone who's not a _true _connoisseur would."

"Yeah, you're not a con boar!" Christian didn't quite get right.

"Wait, you're going to be mad at me for _that_? Kick me out for _one _little mistake?" Goran couldn't believe.

"Not quite. The rest of the chocolate buys our silence," Elsa decided. "You're very lucky Anna and Joan didn't see this. I'm only keeping quiet because it's my nephew's birthday. And this castle is barely standing right now as it is."

Throwing the hard chocolate bar at him, like it was infested with disease, Elsa told Goran, "Just get this out of our sight. And know this….doesn't bode well for you. If you want to do better, then _know _the people you're wooing and buying presents for."

"But, but…." Goran stumbled, yet Elsa and Christian's frowns made it clear nothing would work. Nothing short of leaving and burying the teeth-killing, way too tempting present.

Once he was gone, Christian breathed a sigh of relief. "Does this mean he's not gonna be my uncle?" he asked Elsa.

On the one hand, he made an obvious evil lapse in judgment. Or maybe he was just oblivious. Or maybe he buried himself so deeply back there, he would turn out to be her surprise true love while Jorgen and Devin turned evil after all.

God, guessing romantic clichés really hurt sometimes. And today was supposed to be a peaceful day. Even if that ship sailed the second the _first _cake was ruined.

But to answer Christian's question right now, Elsa settled on, "If he can make up for _that_, he probably deserves to be. Maybe."

"Maybe," Christian repeated. Biting one of the good chocolate pieces, he moaned and said, "Wow, that's uncle-y!"

"Really?" Elsa was happy to get back to the good stuff, sitting down with Christian against the wall. "You mind if I see if that piece is too?"

Although he was the birthday boy and although this was birthday chocolate, Christian still let Elsa take a piece anyway. To her credit, she stopped after having just three more.

And as the rest of the family/committee kept cleaning up the mess in the ballroom, the birthday boy and his aunt found peaceful, yummy solitude in the halls. They even found time to admire the snow globe together, and not get it too sticky with their fingers.

All in all, it was a memorable birthday. And not for the reasons the rest of Arendelle would never forget. No matter how hard it tried.


	14. The Snowball Test

Joan stalked her prey with precision, with the benefit of years of experience. Christian had fewer years of experience in trailing behind her, but he wasn't giving their position away, at least.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Christian asked quietly anyway.

"Of course I am," Joan whispered back. "We gotta know this stuff for Aunt Elsa. It's official committee business."

"Then why didn't we ask the committee first?" Christian questioned.

"I'm the queen of the committee, I can make decisions on my own. Like Aunt Elsa. Makes sense, doesn't it?" Joan argued.

"Not really…." Christian nitpicked.

"Look, we'll know if it's a great idea or not after we do it. So let's do it. He's in position now," Joan signaled for focus.

Christian finally gave in and followed the committee queen's orders, waiting for the target and getting himself fully armed. He would be in attack position soon enough.

And there he was, heading towards the castle. But not for long.

Joan gathered her weapons from behind the fountain, aimed, waited for the target to get in the right spot – and fired.

The first snowball was a direct hit on Prince Sven's shoulder. The second one got him right below the chin as well.

"Fire!" Christian was heard by everyone. "Oops, sorry I'm late."

Although this gave the kids' position behind the courtyard fountain away to Prince Sven, it was too late for him.

Joan charged with two more snowballs in hand, firing and getting him in the stomach, then finally in the face. She then ran back to get more of her ammo, as Christian held the prince back with a few throws of his own.

"What's going on here?" Prince Sven asked while spitting out snow. He didn't know that he was undergoing a rather big test, at least in Joan's eyes.

Any husband of Aunt Elsa's had to be good in a snowball fight. He had to be willing to play, have talent of his own without just letting Elsa bail him out, and give back as good as he got. Soon enough, Joan and Christian would find out if he had any of these things, and had true stuff in common with their aunt.

However, Sven proved to have something else in common with Elsa – not one of her better traits, as it turned out.

"Stop it! You're making me late for work!" Sven insisted, yet Joan already launched a second snowball right into his face. When he wiped it clear, Joan and Christian could better see the frown on it.

"I have very important business to conduct with your aunt! She needs to see how we can work together in trade negotiations and public affairs! It may be what makes or breaks us as a couple!" Sven insisted. "The last thing I need is to be thrown off and delayed by snowballs! Do you understand?"

"But we didn't know you were doing that with Aunt Elsa," Christian said nervously. "Sounds like something we should have asked the committee about," he glared at Joan.

"Look, there's a time and a place for snowball fights, and this is not one of them," Sven told them, sounding like Aunt Elsa when she was in full on Queen mode – in full on not fun mode. "I won't tell your aunt or your parents you did this, but I'd like an apology first."

"We're sorry…." Joan made herself say.

"Good, thank you," Sven said, then just as quickly headed to the castle to make his appointment.

Joan stayed behind, next to her unused snowballs. Christian got ready to say something, yet Joan instantly jumped ahead with, "Not one word."

"I knew we should have asked. That's six words, not one," Christian got her there.

"He's no fun! Aunt Elsa can't have a husband who's no fun! How many words is that?" Joan asked sarcastically.

"I don't know, I lost count after six," Christian answered. "But he was gonna see Aunt Elsa! We would have made her mad if we made him late! That's gotta be six good words right there!"

"Aunt Elsa would have played with us a little! Even if she was busy! Six better words!" Joan shot back.

"She's gotta, she loves us! He doesn't love us yet! That's at least five, so there!" Christian retaliated.

"If he doesn't love us that much yet, he can't be good for Aunt Elsa!" Joan concluded.

"What does that have to do with being good for Aunt Elsa?" Christian asked innocently. The fact he didn't see how loaded that was – and Joan did – threw her off guard.

"Well, uh….we're a package deal! He's gotta love us _and _her!" Joan came back.

"He doesn't love us because he wouldn't do a snowball fight? Or be late for a meeting with Aunt Elsa?" Christian asked innocently again, honestly trying to understand and not trying to accuse Joan. However, it sure sounded like it to her.

But that might have had more to do with her own guilt than Christian. Plus she really didn't check with the committee or Elsa about his schedule – she just waited for the first moment he came outside and then prepared to attack. It was supposed to lead to fun, snowball wars and a better idea on whether Sven could be a fun uncle.

But fun uncles only got to be fun around fun, good nieces. And nephews, maybe.

Joan was still too prideful to admit she was wrong out loud – especially to her little brother. Nevertheless, her silence, pout and then guilty pout said enough.

Still, he was angrier than he should have been. They couldn't have made him late that much – and he was the one who wasted time yelling at them. Joan could cling to that and avoid too much guilt for a little while.

A little while lasted about an hour. Unfortunately, it was two more hours before Joan and Christian went back outside again. Between that and the usual boring afternoon lessons, they weren't in much of a playful mood right now.

As such, they just walked around in the back of the castle, or made half hazard snow angels. When they finished their deformed angels, they stood over them quietly – until Joan felt something strike the side of her neck.

Something wet and round. Before Christian knew it, the same thing hit his arm as well.

The children looked over and saw Sven, with another snowball each in each hand. "Those were just warning shots," he warned.

"Sven! Are you playing with us?" Christian asked excitedly.

"I've only got about two minutes to spare. Trade negotiations with your Aunt Elsa can be….very tiring. But fulfilling," Sven made sure to mention. "Before I rested my brain, I wanted to make sure we were good. It would make my brain rest better."

"But _we're _the ones who were sorry. _I _was sorry," Joan said sincerely. "Wait….did Aunt Elsa tell you to do this?" she got suspicious, in case she felt sorry for nothing.

"I told you I wouldn't tell her, and I didn't," Sven assured. "Just like I won't tell her about this!" he finished right before throwing his snowballs and getting two direct hits on the kids.

"Hey, that's not the same thing!" Joan protested, although she still laughed. Gathering up some ammo of her own, she got a few shots off before Christian was set too. Sven still got him before he took position behind Joan, and the two-kid team traded barbs with the one-man Prince for the next minute.

Nevertheless, Sven kept checking his watch every few seconds, then finally backed away after Joan and Christian got him right above the belt. "I'm sorry, children, but that's all the two minutes I have. We'll have to pick this up another time."

"Are you sure?" Christian complained.

"If he's sure, he's probably sure," Joan changed her tune. "Go on, the committee won't hold it against you."

"The committee is good and merciful," Sven praised – especially after those last shots landed above the belt. He then took his leave with more good humor than in his last leave.

"So he's fun in a snowball fight, but he didn't have much time to play," Christian recapped. "Does that make him good or bad?"

"I don't know," Joan admitted. She knew she should have said he was all good, after her little sneak attack gone wrong. Still, his impatience before, and the fact he technically didn't have a meeting to go to now – yet only played for two minutes anyway – made it a mixed bag. But he didn't have to play for any minutes.

One of these days, these guys would need to be either all good or all bad. It would make the committee's job a lot easier.

_One week later_

This time Joan had covered her bases.

Prince Aaron didn't have any meetings on the way, he already loved snow – at least Aunt Elsa's snow – and she actually got her mother to help lure him to the back of the castle. He might be mad that he wasn't there to see Aunt Elsa after all, but at least Christian and Mom would help contain the damage.

As such, Joan was ready behind the bushes, along with Christian. Anna had done her job to get him out in the open, and had reluctantly gone back inside instead of joining her children and giving their position away. All Aaron had to do was wander into the right position.

Within moments, he helpfully did just that.

"Fire!" Christian yelled too early this time. Luckily for him, Joan used her highly developed power to tune her brother out. As a result, she got Aaron on a direct hit.

"What the?" he sputtered, then got knocked on the chin by Joan's second shot. Christian then joined in by striking him in the stomach.

"Oh no, I'm under attack!" Aaron exclaimed, pretending to look distressed – all while gathering up a snowball of his own. He picked it up and threw it at the bush, which protected Joan and Christian – but they stirred enough to give themselves away and have to go out in the open.

"I should have known! Now you will pay for my ignorance!" Aaron voiced with comic menace. Liking the sound of that so far, Joan giggled and took Christian's hand, running away as Aaron chased them.

He stopped to make a quick snowball, then fired and nailed Joan on the back of the head before she got too far away. She stumbled and fell, causing Christian to declare, "Man down! Man down!" before trying to make snowballs of his own.

He only made two, and none of them stopped Aaron from coming towards them. "You've been breached! Surrender now and face a quick snowy death!"

"Took the words out of my mouth!" someone said other than Joan or Christian. Then someone other than them struck the back of Aaron's head with a snowball.

"Mom! The reinforcements are here!" Joan cheered as Anna was noticed by all.

"Good…..more people to rave about my hostage taking!" Aaron announced, before getting a hold of Christian.

"I wouldn't do that," Anna said, still with a playful tone to her warning.

"So I shouldn't do this then?" Aaron asked, before grabbing a fistful of snow, taking off Christian's hat and rubbing the snow into his hair.

"Hey, my hair!" Christian objected, instead of giggling and laughing.

"_I'm _the one that likes snow in my hair, not him. Your intel got messed up," Joan told Aaron, with a slightly playful tone to her warning.

"Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry!" Aaron quickly apologized, letting Christian go. "Thanks for volunteering, though!" he recovered to put his wet hand onto Joan's hatless head.

Squealing with laughter, Joan was easily captured as Aaron held her close and kept putting snow in her hair. Yet when Anna made her next snowball, Aaron quickly bent down and ducked behind her, using Joan as a human shield.

"You can't get me without taking Joan out! As much as she might like to die, I assume!" Aaron warned.

"No she doesn't! She wants to live, right? Right?" Christian asked, not entirely convinced Aaron was kidding around. Joan sensed that and was tempted to break character to reassure him.

"It's okay, Joan. I can get him," Anna spoke first. "You don't get to know a snow queen sister again for 15 years without learning some….tricks."

"I'd like to see you try," Aaron challenged – missing the little winks Anna was giving Joan.

He felt confident when Anna chucked her snowball right at Joan. He was less so when Joan actually caught it – then turned around and rubbed it right into his face.

"Ha ha, mommy-daughter power!" Anna celebrated. Joan jumped around too – until Aaron wiped the snow off his face and put it on her face next.

"Prince power back at you!" Aaron yelled, seeing how Joan couldn't help but laugh. This inspired him to bring Joan down to the ground, hold her down and rub even more snow on her face. "Give up now?"

"Never! What else you got?" Joan dared.

"More of the same, but worse!" Aaron warned, then went right to gathering as much snow around him as he could, putting it on her face. Joan kept laughing and enjoying the sensation, as Anna and Christian even stayed quiet, regarding this as a possible bonding moment. One the committee might take very seriously as time went on.

"Still not surrendering!" Joan vowed. Aaron didn't stop either, all but burying her head and face in snow while keeping her trapped below him. Joan kept laughing – until some snow got in her open mouth.

"Okay, hold on," Joan said, getting her breath back.

"You've lied too many times, how can I believe you now?" Aaron still thought it was part of the game. As such, he kept smothering her face with snow to make her surrender, even as it got into her mouth and her eyes.

"Okay, I surrender!" Joan finally stopped playing.

"Still don't believe you!" Aaron didn't stop playing. If getting snow on her face meant bonding with her, and therefore bonding with Elsa, it was worth it to keep going. Nothing else got through to him.

Not even Anna's, "Okay, she's had enough, stop it! No more playing!" plea. Not even Joan trying to spit out the snow in her mouth. Not even Anna's "Get off of my daughter!" yell.

But the right hook Anna delivered to Aaron's jaw did the trick.

The fact Anna just punched a prince – one of Elsa's suitors, no less – then finally got through to her. Yet some good old motherly concern and the need to take care of Joan helped distract her a while longer.

She got to wipe Joan's face clean and make sure her eyes were okay, right before Aaron came to. "Please don't be mad, possible uncle! You played too hard, that's all!" Christian tried to keep the peace.

Instead of being mad at Anna, Aaron looked scared – which was both worrisome and empowering. "Oh God, I did….oh, I got too carried away by winter fun! Why does this keep happening?" he rambled. Turning to Anna and Joan, he cringed and begged, "I'm so sorry, princesses! I just loved playing too much!"

"_Maybe _I got carried away too. I can do that. Especially with my children," Anna went from sorry to defensive. "But no more playing _means _no more playing. You need to know that when playing with _any _young lady. Especially my daughter. And Queen Elsa's beloved niece," Anna took relish in reminding him.

"Please don't tell her! I'll be on my best behavior! Just two snowballs a day, I promise!" Aaron bargained. "Or I can leave Arendelle tonight, no problem! Just don't tell her I played too hard with her niece! I'd never move a muscle outside of a block of ice again!"

"You know that for a fact?" Anna asked curiously.

"Of course, we all do!" Aaron kept going. "We know she can't love us if_ she_ doesn't love us!" he exclaimed, pointing to Joan. "She worships that girl! That's why I really wanted to play with her! I wanted it too much, I know!"

"You just wanted to play with me to impress Aunt Elsa? Not just to play?" Joan asked suspiciously.

"Aren't these guys doing _everything_ just to impress Aunt Elsa?" Christian pointed out.

"Oh, yeah…..he made it sound bad, though," Joan settled on.

"No, I didn't mean that either! You don't have to tell her I did! Please?" the prince pleaded on his knees to a little teenaged girl.

"Joan, you're the committee chairwoman. I know what I'd recommend," Anna said, cracking her knuckles again and wincing. "But it's your call."

Unfortunately, it was another thing that wasn't a no brainer.

"He's not bad….he was really fun. When he didn't get snow in my eyes," Joan said. "But he's too scared! He would have left Aunt Elsa instead of fighting for her! But that's not evil! I mean, Aunt Elsa did that stuff too! But, but….aw, why can't these guys just be all good or evil? Like all those stories?!"

Sighing, Joan kicked around some snow and decided, "Just go, Prince Aaron. We'll discuss this stuff in committee later."

"Yes, committee! Thank you, merciful fun Princess!" Aaron quit while he was barely ahead and left, stage right.

Then someone else came in from center stage. "Aunt Elsa?" Christian noticed first.

"What? What were you doing over there?" Anna asked. "How long were you over there?"

"Since about five seconds before your latest prince knockout," Elsa confessed. "I _was_ gonna….knock him out myself, in my own way. You beat me to it. Joan did too, really. So for the sake of avoiding a big clean up, I chose to let you handle it and be proud of you."

"I should have sent him home, huh, Aunt Elsa?" Joan doubted herself. "I can get him back so you can put him in blocks! He'll listen to me!"

"He's certainly near the bottom of the list now," Elsa frowned. "But you kept him around because you knew he wasn't _all _bad. I know that kind of complexity can be frustrating."

"It sure is! Couldn't the bad ones just wear twirly mustaches and be done with it?" Joan sighed. "Then I'd know who's bad for you a lot better."

"Unfortunately, the world doesn't work that easy," Elsa stated. "If it did….I'd have been an out and out villain back then too. I probably should have been at first. But there was more in me than that….even if it took a while for some people to expose it," she took a glance at Anna. "But I know better now. It looks like I passed that knowledge to you too."

"Maybe…." Joan admitted. "You could have thrown in some ice breath, though."

"If I ever have an heir, you can take it up with him or her," Elsa compromised.

"I hope so," Joan got sad for other reasons now.

"And that's why I worship you. Christian too," Elsa brought him over. "And of course, your knockout of a mother."

"Yeah….your o_lder _knockout," Anna lamented as she rubbed her right knuckles. "These gals don't heal up like in the old Hans days anymore."

To help, Elsa used her powers to make a bunch of ice cubes appear in her cupped hands, then Joan helped Anna put her hand in them. She exhaled as her hand cooled down, "Ooh! I guess some things get _more_ powerful with age."

Both Elsa and Joan felt inclined to agree, for many more reasons – and people - than that.


	15. Just Right

**Thanks to the 200 people who have favored this story. I'm still powering through, but between The Royal Reunion and the fact I still haven't figured out where I'm going with the Elsa suitor thing, or when to end this, it's why updates have been coming slower.**

If Anna, Kristoff, Joan, Christian or Olaf were at dinner, there was no chance it would be quiet for more than 10 minutes. Their all-time record had been almost four-and-a-half minutes about two-and-a-half years ago.

But they weren't at dinner with Elsa and Caspar. As her committee, they did insist they had to see how they got along at dinner – at least Anna and Joan did. Then again, Elsa pointed out that they'd probably be too bored, and that they had other more entertaining distractions anyway.

It wasn't like Elsa and Caspar didn't talk or have passion. They spent the whole afternoon in a heated debate over what books would make it into their hypothetical study. By the time they finished going over the work of Lars Christopher Anders, they were almost too worn out to make it to dinner.

Since they didn't debate and square off over 'fun' topics and activities, according to half of the committee, it was easier to convince them they'd be bored watching them at dinner. Now that they'd gone nine minutes without a word, the committee would probably say it was right. Then they'd have a lot more things to say.

As much as Elsa loved the things they said, sometimes it was nice to take a break from hearing them. It wasn't a lingering side effect of 13 years of solitude, either. But between the chaos of family and the madness of being Queen, quiet moments and companionable silence was a rare, valuable commodity for Elsa. Especially with another person.

Kristoff and Christian were the closest who came to giving her that. Yet much of Kristoff's time was with Anna and the kids, plus they'd worn his love of silence down over the years anyway. By necessity, Elsa and Joan had helped do the same with Christian as well.

However, Caspar had proven to be someone she could get loud and excitable with – if only about 'nerdy' stuff, by Anna's standards. Then they could rest their voices, set things aside, and sit together in peace and quiet. To fulfill Elsa's lingering love of peace, quiet and solitude, while still giving her the companionship she was now used to.

To Anna and Joan, that wasn't the kind of sweeping, epic love they thought Elsa was entitled to. It wasn't even the kind of slow burning love Anna had with Kristoff. They did recommend Caspar to stick around because Elsa liked him, but they still insisted Elsa needed grander love. Otherwise it would be like she was settling and marrying for convenience after all.

If Elsa wasn't holding out for spectacular, conscious altering love, then what had been the point of waiting all this time?

To be honest, there were times Elsa asked herself that as well. However, this should not be one of those times.

But it was the last quiet time she was going to get, as it turned out.

"Aunt Elsa, Aunt Elsa!" Joan's voice rang, seconds before her and the rest of the family barged in. They were supposed to be with the rest of Caspar's family, though – at least two of them.

"We tried, Aunt Elsa, we really did! We're sorry!" Christian pleaded, right as Elsa noticed the chicken feathers on his coat. And the food on Joan's face. And the little bump on Anna's forehead. And the traumatized look on Kristoff's face.

"Oh, it was that bad?" Caspar asked knowingly.

"_That's_ the word you want to go with? Really?" Anna asked disbelievingly.

"What….what words would _you _come up with?" Elsa asked, at a loss herself.

"Liar! That's one!" Kristoff directed at someone – technically forgetting his place below the Queen and someone who was born a prince. "You said it'd be fun to watch over your niece and nephew! What does fun mean where you come from? Can you look that up in one of your books?"

"Did they misbehave that much?" was all Caspar could ask. "Even with my sister there?"

"It's not that! They were just too, too…too much!" Joan called out. "We couldn't keep up! Look at us, does it look like we did?"

"Elsa….is that how bad I was? When I pestered you during work and…..in _those _years?" Anna questioned. "I have _never _been sorrier than I am now."

"They were too much for _you_?" Elsa finally let it sink in.

"Their mom has them now, but we don't got much time," Christian warned. "Please let us hide here before they seek us."

"Why did you even bring them anyway?" Anna turned to Caspar. "We're a love expert committee! If we were babysitters, we would have put it on our charter! But it was the next to last thing we cut out!"

"It wasn't my idea, okay? My mother made them come!" Caspar cracked.

"Your mother the queen?" Elsa clarified.

"She figured if your family bonded with my niece and nephew, and they liked my sister, you'd have a special reason to like me," Caspar confessed. "It sounded smart the way she said it. Since you love your niece, nephew and sister so much. I love them too and they are lovable! The kids are just….rambunctious sometimes."

"Whatever that word is, double it and it's still not enough!" Kristoff exclaimed. "How are they _your _niece and nephew?"

"To be fair, you'd have to ask how _I'm _Elsa's sister too," Anna pointed out. "But still! They're too much for even me! You should have warned us!"

"No one's ever supposed to be too much for the Arendelle princesses. That's what all the research said. Mother even double checked it," Caspar defended.

"You can't do everything with research! And sometimes parents don't always know best! Believe me!" Anna insisted. "You know, if they're too much, you're too little! There's no balance in your family!"

"Anna!" Elsa objected. "He obviously had nothing to do with what they did. He's done nothing but be courteous to me all day. In spite of some misguided opinions," she accidentally brought up.

Getting back on course, she finished, "Do not take out your frustrations on other people's….energy on an innocent person. Especially a guest! Are we clear? That goes for everybody!"

This seemed to snap the family out of their little spiral. Joan was the first one to say, "Sorry, Aunt Elsa. Sorry, Prince Caspar."

Her mother followed suit – about a second later than Elsa would have liked – by saying, "I'm sorry. I was out of line."

"I guess I didn't have to cross a few myself," Kristoff followed suit.

"Sorry," Christian said, although he had the least to apologize for.

"It's all right," Caspar let them off the hook. "Should I….go talk to them?"

"No no, I wouldn't wish _them_ on….." Anna started. "Right, probably too far, got it. We'll just….let you go back to your dinner. You make it as quiet as you want, and be thankful you have that chance."

The family/committee took their leave, hoping they'd live to see Elsa again. Once she and Caspar were alone, the silence returned as well – but Elsa wasn't as comfortable with it this time.

"Did you really want them to come here?" Elsa had to ask. "Or were you forced into it?"

"I, well…." Caspar tried to buy time by pausing and eating some more, but it didn't work for long. "My mother may have done more to convince me than I did."

"What did _you _really want?" Elsa went on.

"I….may have wanted to have more alone time with you first. Before I brought them," Caspar admitted. "I mean, you would have met them eventually, if everything went well! I wanted you to like me more first, before we got that far."

"But your mother made you think that wouldn't be enough," Elsa concluded. "So you tried to use my love of family to impress me. I don't love seeing my family suffer through that much, though. No matter how judgmental they can be." Frowning, she asked, "Was it possible that you could have said no?"

"My sister's better at that than I am. Mother says that's why the kids are so wild," Caspar revealed.

So it seemed Caspar was a Mother/Parents Know Best kind of person. Someone who lived by someone else's flawed example and not his own. Someone like the old Elsa, if she had no powers and a different gender.

When Elsa knew he was like her in being quiet, restrained and intellectual, she was comforted. But seeing he could also be submissive and unable to stand up for himself, like old Elsa, was….less comforting.

15 years ago, Elsa might have settled for someone like that. But after everything Elsa had become, all the growth she went through and all the bravery and self-worth she'd found in herself….maybe Anna was right. In context if not in tone.

Maybe Caspar was too limiting for her. Maybe there wasn't enough of a balance between them.

He was obviously a fixer upper, which Kristoff's in-laws never considered a bad thing. Obviously, Elsa felt for him and wished he could stand up for himself more, like she learned to do. If she got the chance, she would help him figure out how in an instant. She might just make that chance happen before he left Arendelle anyway.

But part of that felt more like pity and an act of friendship. Not an act of true love.

Elsa already knew she could be very good friends with this man - something she didn't instantly know about the other suitors yet. However, just because they were similar in some ways didn't make them destined for love.

And in spite of everything Elsa owed Kristoff's family – to a point, given their poor choice of words almost 30 years ago – fixer-upping didn't really feel like the kind of love she was looking for, after all this time.

"I'm sorry, Caspar," Elsa shared, though she wasn't sure what the main reason for it was.

"So am I," he still said back. "Perhaps I should….at least check on my sister."

"I'll come with you," Elsa offered.

"No, you should at least finish your dinner. This is my fault, I'll try to clean some of it up," Caspar insisted.

An eagerness to accept more blame than necessary, and to spare others more hassle than they should. Elsa knew that too well. Too much to let him suffer through it with a clear conscience.

But again, it felt more like basic human decency than something that could be overwhelming love.

Darn that committee for teaching her the difference all this time. In the most bumbling, clumsy way possible at times, like tonight. But it was still an annoying valuable lesson.

Albeit one that wasn't the most ideal help right now.

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_One week later_

Is this how Anna and her family felt around Caspar's niece and nephew? That they were way too much for even them?

If so, Elsa almost cursed herself for thinking Caspar was too little. Because Lanford certainly was too much. At least his activities were.

He always wanted to explore the landscape. He wanted to ride something, where it was horses, reindeer or some other four legged animal that could hold his weight. He didn't want to stay in and rest. He didn't read and he didn't bow down easily.

Elsa had learned to love and appreciate those qualities, and find them in herself as well. But not to this extent.

Yet she kept doing them with him anyway. And not just because it was this week's queenly duty.

When Lanford chopped down a tree, she began to wonder if that….weird feeling in her stomach was how Anna felt when Kristoff split ice apart. When Lanford didn't hesitate to touch and hold her steady during a ride, she didn't find herself cringing at someone other than a family member touching her. When he lifted something heavy, she could have sworn her face didn't look so pale.

If only he would slow down so she could try and think these feelings through.

Elsa was the Queen, so she was within her rights to make him slow down and then some. But she could see the slight boredom and discomfort whenever they just walked around the castle, gardens and library. It was usually enough to make her suggest they go outside after all, and he lit up enough that she felt proud and excited – at first.

Now here they were, hiking across a frozen lake to get back to their sled. Lanford was carrying the body of an elk, which they found already near death during their ride. He mercy killed it and was going to take it back to the castle, for his men to….feast on.

Despite Elsa's love of elk and how many of them were part of her family….the way he carried it on his back, and still marched without delay to the sled was….a noteworthy sight.

Enough that she didn't notice much else. Such as the cracks on the part of the frozen lake she was on. If she had, her powers might have helped her freeze them over. But she was too distracted in more ways than one.

When the ice broke and she fell through it, she didn't feel cold, of course. In a flash, she feared she'd be scared enough to freeze herself over under the water. In the next flash, she saw something else crash through the ice from a distance.

In the next flash, she felt someone taking her arm and lifting her out of the water. It could only be one person.

With some effort, but not a huge amount, Lanford lifted her out and got her into his arms this time. They had been free because he threw the elk down – and through the ice – to come get her.

"You're okay," Lanford breathed his relief. "You're not even shivering."

"You thought I would be?" Elsa questioned, if only to do something other than relax in his arms, bridal style.

"Right, Snow Queen, got it. Wish I'd have remembered that before I threw away dinner," Lanford sighed.

That was what he was focused on too? That still mattered to him? She wasn't shivering or cold, but she still could have been in real danger, on his watch. First he distracted her with his….talents, and then he winds up more concerned about a lost dinner than her?

Then again, he did save her in the first place. He had no problem lifting her and springing to action in the first place.

Then again again, he was sure keeping her in a…..compromising position of action now. One unbecoming of a Queen.

Then again times infinity, being becoming of a Queen got her nothing but 36 years of….pent up need.

Yet Queenly manners dictated that she should thank him, on behalf of Arendelle.

But it wasn't Arendelle that leaned in for its Queen's first real, deep kiss.

And it wasn't Arendelle that kissed her back. Or kept holding her in his arms afterwards as he walked over to his sled. Or kissed her again once they sat down in it.

Yet Arendelle perhaps wouldn't have touched the right strap on Elsa's dress, and started to move it back. But Lanford was.

"What…." Elsa began to snap out of it. "Wait, stop! What are you doing?"

"The cold doesn't bother you, right? So being less….covered up in it isn't a problem for you, right?" Lanford figured. For a split second, Elsa considered figuring that too. A brief, imaginative second.

At least until reality and sanity stepped back in, once the strap was lowered.

"It is a problem! Stop it now!" Elsa commanded. "I am still the Queen, and you are still a _prospective _suitor! This is unbecoming of both of us!"

"Are you…." Lanford started. However, the chill from Elsa's eyes – laced with slight guilt and shame that Lanford couldn't make out – made him think clearer. So did the noisier wind around them.

"My apologies. That was out of line," Lanford got himself to admit. "You inspired me to lose control and let it go. Maybe I did take it too far, but…."

"There's letting it go and then there's….that," Elsa noted, telling him and herself there was a difference they both should have known.

"Right, of course," Lanford admitted. "So….once we get back and go inside….would there still be a difference then? Just so I know and don't get things mixed up again?"

Part of Elsa really wanted to say no. It wanted to throw aside those other doubts about him and just….throw other things aside. After all this time, she was entitled to it.

"Come on, I saved your life! Whether you could handle the cold or not!" Lanford pointed out. "I should have a….edge over those other guys by now. I've earned it."

Maybe he had, in a way. But that's not what Elsa wanted this to be about it. That's not what she had waited 36 years, and 15 years of freedom, for.

The part of her that actually felt lust after all thought it was. But Elsa's committee wasn't made up of lust experts. She didn't let herself go through with this whole process for lust. She wanted to feel an emotion for someone other than her family, and it wasn't lust.

If she felt a part of that….other emotion that started with l, she could justify it. But with a clearer head….she just couldn't.

"You've earned the eternal gratitude of this kingdom. You will be rewarded….just not in that way," Elsa got a clear enough head to say. "If that doesn't suit you, I could tell the….unabridged version of the aftermath of your heroism. The more hands on version. Regardless of who started it."

Although Lanford might not have been much of a thinker, he did seem to ponder that one. Fortunately for him. "Saving your life is its own reward," he at least said with some sincerity. "Perhaps that's enough heroism for one day."

_Now_ he wanted to take things slow. At the least, the irony didn't make Elsa snap, or feel any other strong emotion, during the sled ride home.

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That was it. Elsa now had two full looks at each of her prospective suitors. And she was no closer to finding a frontrunner. Or closer to feeling less depressed at referring to….the rest of her love life like that.

Individually, all of them had traits she really liked. Maybe close to loved. But each of them had traits that were the exact opposite.

Taking the good with the bad was crucial in love, as far as she knew. Yet for each of them to have parts that were too good, or too bad, or mixed too much in between, was too confusing.

Love shouldn't be confusing in that way. It was supposed to be clearer. It was supposed to be just right.

The fact none of them were out and out villains, or way too good to be true, or way too bad to possibly be good later, was promising. She could learn to like and deeply bond with them all, if she hadn't already. But it wasn't love. Not yet.

Elsa, of all people, should have known that love takes a lot of time. But she'd been waiting and patient enough. And her people and council had waited long enough for her to pick someone too. But if she didn't learn to love at least one of them soon, it would just be picking someone out of convenience – the one thing she didn't want to settle for anymore.

But if she had to learn to love someone, it wasn't love. Or was it the closest thing to love with a man that she could get? If she could really love one of them, wouldn't she know by now? If she didn't, what could she really do now?

These confusing, terrible questions made her resort to an old habit as she wandered around in the garden. To help herself deal with overwhelming, frustrating emotions all alone – an ironically tragic choice of words - she resorted to hugging herself for comfort and control over herself again.

"Aunt Elsa?"

Luckily Elsa didn't lose control in other ways before she heard Joan. Or saw her and Christian coming over.

But their obvious concern nearly made her give that control right back. Especially when they saw her hugging herself. They knew what it meant when she was that distressed.

Elsa kneeled down to get on an even level with them, then managed to let go of herself. This left it wide open for Joan and Christian to go over and hug her themselves, without a word.

She didn't ask to be hugged, but they knew she needed it. It was a sudden touch, but she trusted them to do it right. They were so impulsive, unlike her, but she loved them so much for it without condition.

They just sensed she needed something, even before she could acknowledge it, and gave it to her without knowing why she needed it. Right?

"Did Lanford tell you what happened?" Elsa asked, figuring he'd already bragged about saving her life, if not the hands on part.

"No, what?" Joan asked curiously. Christian didn't look like he knew, either. Perhaps Lanford wasn't taking chances and was leaving every scandalous part out, if he was talking.

Which meant they weren't hugging Elsa because of an adventure gone wrong. They hugged her just because she was their aunt Elsa and she needed them.

_That _was the kind of love Elsa wished she'd felt from anyone else these last several months. It was the only kind that saved her life over these last 15 years, far more than Lanford ever had. It was the kind of love Elsa did hope she'd find by now with one of these men.

That just right kind of love.

There was still too much time left, and too much at stake – and too much potential collateral damage – to give up now. Yet Elsa still had no idea if it would pay off, even after all this time already.

If it came so close to paying off with Caspar and Lanford and didn't work, what else would it take?

But as Joan and Christian's grips tightened, Elsa figured there'd be plenty of time to ponder those sad questions later.

That only made her treasure her time, and hugs, with those whose level of love she would never doubt all the more.


End file.
